Day Late Friend
by spikeyhairgood
Summary: Jace Herondale and Clarissa Morgenstern grew up together while their parents toured with their successful rock band, The Uprising. Since the band's rocky break up and their sudden separation, Jace and Clary haven't spoken to one another in years. After an arranged reunion set up by their parents, one unexpected offer will turn everyone's lives upside down. AH, AU.
1. An Interrupted Tradition

_**Summary:** Jace Herondale and Clarissa Morgenstern grew up together while their parents toured with their successful rock band, The Uprising. Since the band's rocky break up and their sudden separation, Jace and Clary haven't spoken to one another in years. After an arranged reunion set up by their parents, one unexpected offer will turn everyone's lives upside down. AH, AU._

_**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but the idea to turn The Uprising into a band name._

* * *

><p>With her red hair flowing down her open window, Clarissa Morgenstern had the left side of her face pressed against her upper arm with her eyes closed. Her left arm was dangling freely out of her bedroom window in her family's Brooklyn brownstone townhouse located in Park Slope. She opened her eyes slowly and lifted her head up only to rest her chin on her crossed arms. She looked down at the tree planted into the sidewalk, catching a few leaves drop to the ground while a slight breeze passed. She did this the first day of autumn every year since she was thirteen. She would wake up, pull her window open, drink a cup of coffee in a chair she would push against the wall - her feet sticking out the window as she lounged back. Then she would choose the same Ella Fitzgerald compilation record and play it on her vinyl player while she read a book. When she was in middle school and high school, she would wake up when the sun would rise just to get her tradition done – then be a complete zombie during the day. It set off the beginning of her two favorite seasons in the perfect way. Only today, it wasn't as relaxed as Clary anticipated.<p>

She was on her third cup of coffee, she couldn't concentrate enough to get past more than two chapters in her book and she had been up and restless for hours. Clary sat up in her chair, pulling all her hair up into a messy bun that she made too tight and was only making her headache worse. Commanding her mind to calm down, Clary closed her eyes and took deep breaths. She was concentrating on keeping the memories away and wanted only to think of thoughts that would keep her emotions in check and her feelings of nostalgia subsided. She groaned in annoyance and frustration as memorized images of her and a golden-haired blonde boy playing hide and seek in a garage of parked tour buses.

She opened her eyes and her gaze was cast downward. She had been so lost in her own mind that she didn't hear when someone opened her door.

"Sorry to interrupt the first day of Autumn," Jocelyn said and Clary's feet slipped from the window sill. She turned around after the initial shock of it.

"It's okay," Clary said, in a quiet voice. "Jonathan and Luke are ready?" Jocelyn nodded and Clary stood up. "I'm just gonna change real quick." With a small smile, Jocelyn closed the door as Clary made her way into her closet. She tiptoed to grab dark jeans and pulled a black cashmere sweater off the hanger. She pulled on all black booties, turned off her vinyl player then made her way to the window. She stuck her head out one more time, finding her last moment of comfort from her tradition. She pulled her upper body out of the open window then dragged it down to shut.

Taking a moment to look down into the foyer two stories down, she saw the blonde hair of her brother and the gray streak that stuck out from the brown.

"Clarissa," Jocelyn said, in a warning tone and Clary rushed to catch up with her.

"Morning - kind of," Luke said, with a big smile. Clary and Jonathan looked at Luke and their mom when they didn't give each other the 'good morning' kiss. But Clary knew why. Considering where they were going, she knew her mother and Luke were also reliving memories that they didn't want to remember so vividly.

"I've got a meeting at 4:30," Jocelyn informed.

"I've got a meeting at 5," Luke followed up.

This was usually how their mornings went since Jocelyn and Luke were so busy. She was managing a few art galleries in Brooklyn, she being the artist for one of them, while Luke still worked with the PR firm in Manhattan that Jocelyn quit to pursue her second dream. It was jobs they were lucky to have – or to know the right people to have. The luxury of connections from the first dream they were a part of together.

"We have band practice at 7," Jonathan chimed in.

"Okay, so dinner at 9?" Jocelyn asked and Luke turned her from her shoulders.

"It'll be 11 at this rate if we all keep prolonging this little event," Luke said and Jocelyn sighed. Jonathan and Clary looked at each other then followed out the front door.

* * *

><p>"You have three meetings today, which will start at 4 so this reunion can only be a maximum of three hours. We were told that they will arrive at the park at 1, so Bat and Raphael will be arriving soon to escort you and your father to the agreed meeting place. Your father already knows this, he called in to say he will arrive in ten minutes," Maia said, finally looking up from a sleek black planner. "But at least you have the night off. Maybe you can meet back up with the friends your seeing today."<p>

Jace stared down at the west side of Central Park and Columbus Circle up from his Trump Tower Hotel suite. "Yeah," He said, putting his hands in his pockets. "Maybe."

"You don't sound very excited," Maia said, sadly.

Jace shrugged. "I am."

Maia laughed a little then stood up. "Very convincing, Jace." Her phone dinged and she looked down at it. "Oh, your father arrived early. Bat and Raphael are already –" She turned her head when there was a knock on the door. "There they are." She walked and opened the door where two of Jace's body guards were talking to each other. "Have fun, Mr. Herondale." His assistant frowned when he didn't budge from the window. "Jace, are you sure you're okay?"

Jace finally turned around. He grabbed his leather jacket off the bed. "I'm fine, Maia. Thank you." With that, he walked through the door, Raphael and Bat behind him, talking about a video game they would be playing each other later that day. Jace stared at the hotel's printed carpet and looked down the hall, where the print only seemed endless. It made him dizzy.

"Your father said the girl we're meeting was your childhood best friend," Bat said, trying to make conversation. He was weary. Jace didn't look like he was up for talking and sometimes when he wasn't, he was rude and it would set him off to have a negative and 'difficult' day as his father would call it when Jace was still young.

"Yeah," Jace said, pressing the button. "Her name is Clary."

"I'm sure she's excited to see you, Jace. Don't be nervous," Raphael said.

Jace looked up at the elevator floor numbers light up and dwindle down.

"Probably not," Jace muttered as the elevator doors slid open.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: This is my second Mortal Instruments story and I hope you guys like the idea so far. **It came to mind while driving home from work yesterday and I was driven this whole day to get a chapter done to get this story started. **Anyway, please let me know what you guys think of the premise and first chapter! Reviews and feedback please, they would be much appreciated :)**

Also, the story title is from a song called _Day Late Friend_ by Anberlin in case anybody wanted to listen!


	2. International Superstar

**A/N: **Before I say anything else, let me just say that I was completely overwhelmed by the feedback & reviews for the first chapter of this story. I am honestly so glad that the idea was well received and there's in an interest in it. **Thank you thank you thank you to those who reviewed, favorited & alerted!** I haven't even replied to anyone yet (which I will do sometime today after I post this) because I was so excited and really wanted to get another chapter out to you awesome readers. I'll leave my guest thank you's and another A/N on the bottom.

* * *

><p>"72nd street, 72nd."<p>

Before the conductor bellowed the words, Clary and her family were already on their feet on the almost empty subway train. Even without the crowds of rush hour times, they stepped off onto the platform and walked quickly towards the exit, basically jogging up the steps, not because they were in a hurry but because that was what they knew. When Jocelyn and Luke used to bring Jonathan and Clary around the city when they first arrived from London at the ages of 13 and 11, they were quick and always telling them that they should keep up, never to get separated. They said it was only them four now and they needed to stick together.

Once they stepped out of the double doors, walking to their left towards Central Park, Clary looked up. She may have lived in Brooklyn and went into the city almost every single day for the past eleven years but she never got tired of it. She loved the buildings that made her feel strangely infinite even though she was as small as an ant compared to them. She loved the hustle of the city, the sound of traffic and the familiarity of a business man screaming into his phone while he walked passed her. She also loved getting on a late train, since she avoided rush hour at all costs, making the travel back into Brooklyn, where she would enter a home that she and her family were blessed to have to themselves – other than Miss Dorothea who lived on the ground floor of their building. It was a blessing that came from the one that made their new lives possible – Robert Lightwood.

Robert Lightwood, a childhood friend of Jocelyn and Luke's, provided entry level jobs at a popular PR firm – being that he owned it and was a successful agent as well. While they worked their way to the prestigious positions they had today, Robert even let them live in his Upper East Side residence for a couple months until he bought their home in Brooklyn. They were forever indebted to him. Well, to him and his family that provided them with warmth, comfort and stability after the most tumultuous year of their lives to date.

His society wife, Maryse and their children, Isabelle, Alec and Max became the new best friends of Jocelyn and her children. Max was treasured by the Morgenstern's as their own little brother. Isabelle and Clary were forever joined by the hip while Alec and Jonathan became each other's right hand man. Despite Isabelle being a socialite and Clary's want for normalcy, they stayed best friends as they grew up and Alec completely depended on Jonathan to be his rock as he decided to come out as gay to his parents and in result, _Page Six,_ once it was found out that Alec had a boyfriend. Isabelle, on the other hand, seemed like a relatively normal society woman – until you found out she was a drummer in a band that played in grimy music venues and for the past four years has been dating an anti-hipster hipster from Brooklyn. Simon. He was Clary's other best friend, her only 'normal' one from when she went into middle school. He started dating Isabelle because she said that Simon 'got hot' after he graduated high school. Who was he to pass on Isabelle Lightwood?

Clary looked around while they stood at the corner; waiting to walk across the crosswalk while taxis and black cars drove by. She looked over her shoulder a little at the Starbucks on the other side of the street to her left, noting that she wanted to grab something on her way to Isabelle after. She almost looked forward until she did a double take back to the magazine, sitting at the news stand, that caught her eye. She knew very well how the September issue of _Details_ magazine looked like. She felt like the issue popped up everywhere in the city and was haunting her wherever she went– along with his face on every teen magazine like M and Popstar.

It was her former best friend turned international superstar, Jace Herondale.

* * *

><p>Jace had his face tilted down, staring at his shoes while he walked, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his worn down leather jacket that his dad passed down to him.<p>

"We're a bit early," Jace said, loud enough for only his father to hear while Bat and Raphael took in the sights of 'The Mall' in Central Park. They were surrounded by trees that were on the brink of changing colors, leaves already making their way from dark green to a mix of green, yellow and brown. They were walking in from the south end of The Mall walkway lined with wooden benches on both sides.

"Jocelyn's impeccable on timing. I'm sure they'll appear on the other side in any moment," Stephen said and Jace looked at him.

"Do I hear excitement in your voice, father?" Jace asked and Stephen broke out into a grin. Jace stared at him in surprise. His father, who barely smiled that wide anymore, was almost laughing in glee. It was such a different sight from the stern-faced business man his father had become. "I wasn't aware you still talked to Jocelyn and Luke."

"I hadn't until a couple months ago. Our contact with them stopped when –" Stephen stopped suddenly but Jace knew what he was going to say. Probably 'since me and your mother divorced' or maybe less kind words like 'when she abandoned us for another man and left me to raise you on my own'. "I tracked down Jocelyn's number in March to catch up. Honestly, I missed her and Luke. We all spent this outrageous time of our lives together and I realized it's futile to not have seen each other for how long? About-"

"It's been eleven years," Jace said and Stephen looked at his son.

"Wow. Eleven years." Stephen shook his head. "Feels like a lifetime ago."

"Yes. It does."

Jace finally looked forward taking in the view. He took in the sight of the trees enveloping from above a long walkway that only had a couple people in it - running or sitting with their newspapers or talking to a friend. They were almost to the middle where the agreed meeting spot was when he saw her. Or to be more specific, he could see the familiar light blonde of Jonathan and the red hair that looked more auburn than when she was a kid. He wondered if she dyed it or the color changed as she got older. His heart began to beat hard in his chest and he wanted to break out into a run. It was as if adrenaline had wracked his entire body and he needed to release it. It was only when the four appeared on the other side of The Mall did he realize that it had been more than a decade that he hadn't seen the people that he spent his childhood with.

It was Jocelyn, who comforted him on nights when his parents would fight in another bus. It was Luke, who was always willing to kick a football around with him when he had the time. It was Jonathan, who had a big brother presence that he didn't truly appreciate until he wasn't spending every day with him. Then there was Clary. Clary, who he pushed relentlessly when they were two, because he was told that he was jealous that she was the only baby girl and the youngest of the three. It was Clary, who was there in his life laughing at him when he was wetting the bed. The same Clary that he was attached to by the hand even when he believed girls had cooties. Clary, who he kissed behind a tour bus, after tagging her 'it' during a routine game of tag, stealing their first kisses from both of them. His Clary, who wasn't there one day and took all that seemed good in his life along with her.

He didn't realize he had been walking at a faster pace than his father, Raphael and Bat. He saw Jonathan give him a nod, Clary looking down, Luke smiling and then Jocelyn waving towards them. With that, he ran.

* * *

><p>"This kid is still a maniac," Jonathan said, laughing in amusement.<p>

Clary looked up. She had been avoiding to since she saw familiar golden blonde hair in the corner of her eye once they stepped into The Mall. She squinted to make sure what she was seeing was correct. Jace was running right towards them. She was struggling to see the expression on his face to know whether they should scatter just in case he was angry and wanted to knock them over like bowling pins. But the closer he got, the more she could see that he was smiling.

Unable to control it, she began to smile back once she could see his see his golden eyes and that same overjoyed grin that he had on every time he used to win against Jonathan in a video game. She could almost hear his laugh, the one he did every time Clary would trip or fall or say something sarcastic but funny that always had him laugh so hard that he would cry. He finally slowed down a little but she closed her eyes and braced herself for their collision.

But she didn't feel it when he crashed into her, wrapped his arms around her and picked her up by her mid-section, pushing her back a few steps behind her family. She didn't feel her arms wrap around his head but they were there, squeezing hard that she worried a little if she was suffocating him. They were holding on to each other as if they were the only things keeping each other on the ground from a passing tornado.

"Clary," was all she heard from a somewhat raspy, deep voice that she was unfamiliar with.

"You're tall," was all she said, in reply.

He chuckled and she smiled at it. Now that sound, that she knew. And she continued to hug him as he squeezed her, forgetting completely, at least for a moment, that this was the same Jace that made her feel like she was literally being ripped apart.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: How did you guys like it?** I know I haven't explained yet what even happened within the band or Clary/Jace but everything will be explained in time, promise. I really enjoy writing this story far because it brings me back to my good ol' New York and satisfies my homesickness. Also, I'm genuinely trying to make it into something good. That sounds ridiculous when I write it out but I'm definitely invested, haha. Although, I do want to still focus on my other story As Lovers Go. This story actually came about because I was thinking of what I could write next since As Lovers Go will be wrapping up somewhat soon and I'll miss writing these characters. But yes, enough of my rambling ... anyway! **Please continue with your awesomeness and let me know what you guys thought of this chapter, the glimpse of their reunion and anything you're already wondering. Reviews & feedback, please!**

* * *

><p>Shout out to <strong>HerondaleCake, Ramanaddict, roobear608, Daire123, I Only Eat Pure Souls, xSweetSouthx and Guest!<strong> Thank you for leaving your reviews/thoughts and for providing me with the motivation to get another chapter written so fast.

**Daire123:** Thank you for your review! I'm hoping to make it good enough and I'm already thinking way into future chapters of how to execute it all. I know I wasn't able to reveal what it was that happened between them for Jace to think that but soon! Definitely soon, haha. Also, yes, she was thinking of him earlier that day and she was also trying everything in her means not to. I hope you liked the chapter :)

**Guest:** Thank you for your review! I tried hard to get this chapter written and posted quickly, I hope you liked it and please, let me know what you think :)


	3. Ignorance is Bliss

**A/N: **Feeling overwhelmed has not passed. So happy you guys like it so far! I'm hoping nobody minds that this chapter is longer and the updates after will probably be too as well. **Infinite thank you's to those who reviewed, favorited & alerted! **Thank you for starting this story on a great note. The other A/N and replies will be at the bottom.

* * *

><p>Once the exhilaration of seeing each other passed, Clary and Jace realized that they were fiercely hugging someone whom they barely knew. They let go of each other instantaneously and stepped away, finally getting a good look at one another. They were no longer the children that used to throw temper tantrums and have food fights together.<p>

They were two 22-year-olds who only had remnants of what they used to see in each other. Clary's green eyes were the same but her red hair had gotten darker, warmer. Her cheeks were no longer chubby like they were when she was eight and Jace used to pinch them to annoy her. Jace no longer had the big round eyes that tricked people into thinking he was innocent but his gaze had hardened over time, becoming intense. His hallowed in cheeks and strong jaw were a far cry from the Jace that used to puff out his cheeks so Clary could push them together, making air come out in a rush. They stared, comparing the differences from when they last saw each other, realizing that the feeling was comparable to an out of body experience of seeing yourself in the future. The reality of missing a chunk of each other's lives came hard and fast and they almost cheered when Jonathan came over and pulled Jace into a hug.

Jace looked over Jon's shoulder as the two embraced. He couldn't take his eyes off Clary and she in return, gave him a slight closed-mouth smile with friendly eyes and an incline of her head down. Jon broke their hug by holding Jace out by his shoulders, taking a look at him, saying something along the lines of 'Well, look how grown up Jacey-poo is!'. Clary looked down at her shoes for a moment and Jace looked away, grinning wide at Jon once he used the obnoxious nickname. Jace glanced at Clary, who was walking over to greet Stephen. He knew their moment of forgetting was over and he gulped as the thought of her hating him came back to his mind.

When Clary walked away from her brother and Jace, the question of how to react to him re-entered her mind and made everything else foggy. She was giving Stephen a hug and he was commenting on how beautiful and grown up she was but all she could think about was how to act around Jace. Was she supposed to act like they were the same as they were as children? Was she supposed to act if there was a time of their lives that they didn't talk at all and only harbored ill feelings towards each other? Was she supposed to pretend that he didn't say things to her that completely altered the way she acted and saw the world?

Clary turned around and made immediate eye contact with him. He was still staring at her despite the fact that she could hear Jonathan chatting with him. Even though he looked different from what she was used to, she could still see the boy she used to know. She could still feel his tight hug that made it seem like there wasn't a day they hadn't hugged in eleven years. It was familiar, he was familiar and she couldn't lie to herself into thinking otherwise. But she also noticed that there was a different, unsettling feeling between them and it wasn't time that created it. Furrowing her eyebrows very slightly, Clary noticed the broadness of his shoulders and the way he was now the same height as Jonathan. She noticed the golden in his eyes in a way that was definitely different from the eyes she saw when they played staring contests. A part of her wanted to know him again, a part of her understood why girls around the world were starting to notice and fawn over him. Clary's younger self was screaming at her to deny Jace but Clary was walking towards him with a smile and the urge to hug him again. She had missed him, she couldn't deny it. And they still were comfortable with each other to an extent; their hug was a confirmation of that. Clary fought back with the voice of her younger self scolding her and she told the voice that she had moved on and grown up. Clary silenced the voice with finality with a resounding 'shut up'.

* * *

><p>Jace sat down, the sound of leaves crinkling beneath him and he watched as Jon leaned back, his hands planted firmly into the ground. Clary sat down with grace and was sitting Indian style.<p>

"I can't even get over how grown up you look," Jonathan said, with a smile. He hadn't stopped smiling. "You look better in person than in the magazines. Although you look quite hunky in pictures too."

Jace laughed and couldn't help but notice that Clary hadn't spoken yet. She was laughing along but every time she looked at him, she looked down quickly to break eye contact. She didn't look upset, Jace was grateful for that. Then he realized that she was being shy – it was something he never saw towards himself but he always saw her be shy with people that they used to be meeting often when their parents brought them along for business. Usually he was the one to pull her out of her shyness but he shifted uncomfortably realizing he was the one she was apprehensive against.

"You look quite hunky yourself," Jace said. "You look very distinguished."

"I'm 24-years-old, I should look something," Jonathan said then looked to Clary. "Our baby girl Clarissa just turned 22 a couple days ago."

"I know," Jace said, matter-of-factly. He looked at Clary. "Happy belated birthday."

"Thank you very much. I feel like the Taylor Swift song," She responded and he looked surprised.

"You don't have an accent anymore," He pointed out and she looked immediately to Jon as if it was habit. Jace remembered distinctly when it was him she looked to for comfort.

"It slips every now and then," Jon shared.

"It took a while to get a hang of it," Clary said, sheepishly.

"Why did you stop your English accent?" Jace asked. "I believe Americans love European accents, yes?"

"Yes, very much so," Clary said, amused at his genuine concern. "I just," She shrugged a little. "Decided not to have an accent once we settled here in New York."

"She wanted to blend in," Jon said, sitting forward now and slouching as he reached for a leaf to play with. Following his lead, the other two grabbed one to help with their nerves. "She also went to middle school instead of continuing home schooling." Jon looked at Jace. "You remember her need for normalcy, don't you?"

"Of course," Jace responded, softly. He looked from Clary to Jonathan and couldn't help but stare. The angles of Jon's face and his hair reminded him so much of their father when he was younger. Jace wondered if it painfully reminded Luke and Jocelyn of Valentine.

"How is it being famous, Jacey?" Jonathan asked, filling in the silence he knew Jace and Clary wouldn't break. He was always the most outgoing and talkative of the three. Jace had his charm but only used it if he wanted something. Clary had hers hidden and used it so subtlety that sometimes she didn't even know she was using it. Jonathan knew, when the other two were too young to realize, that they were children to be weary of. Good looks and charm for manipulation made him feel bad for anyone new that took care of them. Their parents and the ones they knew for a long time were the only people who saw past their big eyes and sweet words.

"It's strange," Jace admitted. "I don't know if I'm quite famous, just on the brink." He paused. "Well, at least in America."

"Yeah, I'd say a little past the brink," Clary said, pointing her chin towards Raphael and Bat, who sat two benches away from Jocelyn, Stephen and Luke. It was far enough to let them have some privacy but close enough that if they needed to be there in an instant, they would.

Jace smiled at her remark and because he could see her shyness start to peel away. "Well, yes. It just feels like I've stepped into our parents shoes instead of watching them go through it."

"Do you enjoy it?" Clary asked, sincerely.

"I do," Jace said, after a moment of thought. "I didn't think this is what I wanted but I've turned out to be good at it, so."

"Good," Clary responded, with a nod. "As long as you love it, that's what matters. Doesn't make it so .." She searched for the word.

"Difficult?" Jace finished.

"Yes," Clary said, with a smile. "Difficult."

"How have you two been?" Jace asked. He looked at Clary and Jonathan, who looked at each other again, the way siblings do in telepathic understandings. "I mean, we can't cover all the years but…" Jace's word drifted off.

"Well, Clary graduated in May from Columbia," Jonathan started.

'Congratulations,' Jace mouthed to Clary as to not interrupt Jonathan. Clary responded with a silent 'thank you'.

"Her friend Simon did too and we're all in this band," Jonathan said, making a face at how douchey it sounded when he said the words out loud. "We all decided to focus on it and put all our efforts into it, just to see where it takes us."

"Yeah, before we face the world of Public Relations and Agents," Clary joined in.

"We do have possible jobs in a PR firm waiting for us if we'd like them, so we're just," Jonathan let the tore up leaf fall from his palm to the ground. "Ending this part of our lives with a bang."

"A band," Jace said, with a smirk. He was nodding, looking down. "You are lead singer, I presume?" He asked, looking up at Jonathan, who grinned. "You play the drums?" He asked, directing his gaze on Clary.

She laughed. "No, but I see how you can think that." She knew they were both thinking of the times that Clary used to bang on pots inside the tour bus they would reside in saying that when she grew up she wanted to be like her mom, who 'rocked'. Jocelyn dominated on the drums and he remembered Clary air drumming every night they watched their parents perform from the side of the stage.

"Clary is our everything," Jonathan said. "She manages us, she draws our flyers and coordinates our agendas. We run because of her."

"I'm their mom," Clary summed up, folding the leaf in her fingers. "They really created a good crowd this month. They just broke past 150 people at the last show. Almost 200 possibly."

"What's your name?" Jace asked.

"The Elite Four," Jonathan told him. "Like in Pokemon. We're made up of socialites and a nerd from Brooklyn. It was the only one that we agreed upon that made sense. I'm still a firm believer that we should combine the names of Morgenstern - morning star and Lightwood."

"What name was that?"

"Morningwood," Clary told Jace and he burst into laughter and she joined him. "I thought it was great. Isabelle vetoed it though." Jace's laughter faded and he decided not to ask who Isabelle was.

"We have a show tomorrow night if you're still going to be around or aren't busy," Jonathan said and Jace looked over at him.

"That'd be great. Um," Jace said, looking back at Raphael and Bat out of habit. The top of his teeth hooked onto his bottom lip while he tried to figure out what he was doing the next day. He was so used to Maia being around to tell him his schedule. "I mean, I have –"

"The Today Show," Clary finished for him.

Jace spun forward to face her. "Yeah."

She smiled at him and he could see in her eyes that she was proud of him.

"Crazy," She whispered.

He pressed his lips together tightly. "Yeah, I know."

"Well, I'll be watching."

* * *

><p>"I can't believe you straddled <em>this<em> guy in the park," Isabelle said, pointing at her laptop screen while she was sprawled on her bed, laying on her stomach on top of her lavender silk bed comforter. "He is so hot, honestly. I don't know how you can't see it no matter how close you two were."

Clary rolled her eyes, browsing through Isabelle's closet. "I wasn't straddling him," Clary said and pulled out a black moto leather jacket, holding it up for Isabelle to see.

"Borrow it." Isabelle waved her hand. "I know you have a lack of black clothes in your closet," Isabelle said, sarcastically and Clary scrunched her nose for a second. Black was eighty percent of Clary's closet. Isabelle always said that the day she got Clary to start wearing name brand clothes was a revolution because if she was going to stick to one main color, or to dark colors in general, she could at least still be fabulous doing it. "Clarissa."

Clary turned around to face Isabelle, who was sitting up now. Isabelle only used her full name when she was being serious or Clary was wearing something she didn't approve of.

"Isabelle," Clary replied, using the same tone as she sat in the silver French vintage love seat that Isabelle had in her room.

Isabelle narrowed her eyes at Clary's mockery. "Stop refusing to explain this to me. Are you _sure_ you don't want to tell him how you feel?"

"I feel nothing over our lack of communication," Clary said, simply.

"Your pre-teen self would slap you for that."

"I know, that's why I've silenced her."

"See," Isabelle pointed. "A part of you is still hurting over it. You need closure."

"I'm not hurting," Clary said, defensively. "I was eleven when this happened. I should be moved on. I _am_ moved on, Isabelle."

"If someone I cared about told me those words at this point of my life, I'd still be hurt."

Clary's shoulders fell inward a little. "Izzy, I really don't want to talk to him about it. He's leaving in a couple days. He will disappear into the world and fall into a pool of fan girls and life will go on as normal." Clary looked off as if she was imagining it.

"But your families had such a nice time together today, what if this is more than just some reunion?"

"How is it going to pass more than a couple days of reuniting?" Clary sat up now, at the edge of the love seat. "His father still lives in London, he's on the fast track to being internationally famous and we're just a family living in Brooklyn, who should just live in Manhattan because we're here every day."

Isabelle's head pulled back. "You would move out of your place?"

"No, never. I love our home." Clary shot her a dirty look.

"Okay, anyway," Isabelle shook away the topic change. "What if-"

"Isabelle, I don't _want_ it to be more than a reunion. You don't want your best friend card revoked from you, do you?"

Isabelle raised an eyebrow. "Excuse you, we are sisters."

"Fine, from Simon."

"Clarissa-"

"Isabelle," Clary said, standing up. "Ignorance is bliss and expressing my younger self's devastation is ... a waste of time. He is leaving in approximately three nights, two and a half days and then is off into the night in a red-eye flight. My pre-pubescent self can understand why my current self wouldn't want to air out those feelings, right? She would understand why I just needed to keep it to myself for our families to enjoy their short time together with no problems. She would get that, right?" Isabelle stared at her. "I just feel like talking about the past is going to make this more complicated than it has to be."

"You are being stubborn."

"I learned it from you," Clary said, sweetly.

Isabelle analyzed her for a moment, trying to see if Clary was lying that she was okay with it. "I guess."

"Next time you try to get me to join you in a dangerous plan, I'm gonna say 'I guess'."

Isabelle rolled her eyes. "Fine. Well, whatever your heart decides to do, I'll be here to pick up the pieces or I'll be ready with glasses of champagne in celebration for you when he leaves."

"Thank you. I love you. You are my heart and soul," Clary said, with a nod.

"Whatever. You're welcome."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** It's going to be a little longer before what happened between Clary and Jace is revealed but I hope you guys enjoy them getting used to each other in the mean time. Also, no worries, I haven't forgotten about the parents, they'll have their time too. **How did you guys like the chapter? **Them fighting through the awkwardness? Isabelle/Clary's sistership?** Please continue with the story love and let me know what you think :) Reviews & feedback, please!**

* * *

><p>Shout out to<strong> roobear608, Ramanaddict, Guest, Daire123, xSweetSouthx, Guest (Cici), tati1327, imcrazyanditscontagious, blushingfangirl, LOVERGIRL, monikako2010 and lindsayhonaker! <strong>You're all amazing. I'll be replying to you in a PM very soon if you aren't thanked below. As my only warning - a million thank you's, a smiley face and exclamation points will be given often and always.

**Ramanaddict:** Thank you for your review! I really appreciate that you complimented me on my writing, it means a lot to me that you enjoy it. Hope you liked the Clace moments just as much in this chapter!

**Guest:** Thank you for your review! I wanted the moment that they saw each other to be an important part in the story and to just be able to show by actions how close they were when they were young :)

**Daire123: **Thank you for your review! I love that you told me the very things that you liked about the chapter. Definitely don't be sorry about asking about their ages! I hadn't made it clear and I realized if there wasn't a calculator with the reader, the ages that I did write in, it would be hard to figure out how old they were. I made sure to add their ages, at least the kids, in this chapter. So thank you for pointing it out! Thank you so much for your kind words, they're extremely motivating for me to write well and update quickly :)

**Guest (Cici):** Thank you for your review! I'm trying hard to do right to the story and awesome readers, like yourself, so I'm very glad it shows and that you reviewed what you did to me! The pressure is on but it's a great kind, lol.

**LOVERGIRL: **Thank you so much for your review! I hope you liked the new chapter :)


	4. The Uprising

**A/N:** Okay, this chapter is so long that I'm surprised I'm allowed to post it but I didn't have the heart to cut anything out and I felt like this all had to happen in one chapter instead of two or it would've been a filler. I hope no one minds - the next chapter will be shorter, that's a promise. I'm taking advantage of my need to write these days which explains four updates for two stories in a less than a week. Okay, enough of that - **thank you to those who reviewed, alerted and favorited! The feedback is incredible and I love seeing what people have to say and that you guys are interested enough to alert/favorite.** My other A/N will be at the bottom. Thank you thank you thank you, on to the chapter.

* * *

><p>Jace stepped out of his black Lincoln Town Car and looked up at the dark red brownstone building. "I'll only be a moment," He said, to the driver, who was double parked.<p>

"Of course, Mr. Herondale," The driver replied and Jace gave him a polite smile before closing the door. He had left his hotel room, texting Maia only after he did, so she wouldn't send Bat or Raphael along with him. He slowly walked the steps and he squinted a little, staring at the door. He didn't know if he could even open the door without a key or someone letting him in. He looked to his right at the window that was shielded by a thin lace curtain. He knocked on it then pulled his hand away. He blinked, unsure why he thought knocking on their window would be less startling.

Jace stepped back in surprise when someone pulled the curtain to the side and looked right at him.

"That is not a Morgenstern or Garroway," He mumbled to himself but the woman had already left. Ready to leave the steps, wondering if he wrote down the wrong address that his father gave him, Jace turned around. He looked behind him, hearing the door open. "Oh, hello." He looked up at the array of windows. "I'm looking for the Morgenstern family or Luke Garroway. I'm sorry if I disturbed you. I'm not even sure if this is the -" She left the door and walked away. "- right place." Standing there awkwardly, Jace waited for a few moments before she came back and opened the door for him.

"Jonathan Morgenstern knows you're here," She said and he walked through, side stepping around her.

She closed the front door and started to walk back to her apartment. "Oh, I'm Jace Herondale. Thank you for helping me, um, Miss-"

"Dorothea," She finished for him. "And I know you who are. I saw you on the news this morning."

"Oh," Jace said, with a nod. "Well, thank you."

"You're welcome," She said shortly then closed her door while he stood in the foyer. He looked above him and walked up the dark brown flight of sturdy wooden steps.

* * *

><p>Jace spotted the door on the second floor but he figured that the music coming from the floor above him was most likely where Jonathan was. When they were kids, there was music constantly playing - whether it was listening to their parents practice, on the stage or putting them to sleep. He smiled to himself knowing that this probably hadn't changed about them.<p>

Jace knocked on the door panel and peaked inside. To his right was a clean kitchen with all black appliances, silverware and a tea pot that was red. He stepped in, closing the door behind him to see a light tan comfy looking couch and a blanket thrown across it but what caught his eye immediately was the bookcase wall that held vinyls as well.

"Hey," He heard and turned to his right to find Jonathan coming out of his room. "Getting lost in Brooklyn?"

Jace chuckled. "Yeah, a little bit. Just stopping by to say hi."

Jonathan pointed behind him into a hallway with his thumb. "Clary's in her room. She's supposed to be getting ready but I know she's not." He turned and yelled, "Clarissa!"

"I'm getting ready!" She yelled back.

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, she's not getting ready. Go ahead."

Jace smiled at their bickering then walked towards the door that was slightly opened, music coming from inside. The closer he approached the door, the more he could see into the sliver. One of her walls was painted a warm navy blue color and he could see the spinning of a vinyl that was playing. He could see that the Arctic Monkey's _Suck It and See _album was rotating. Her room was filled with natural lighting from an open window, its curtains pulled to the side. He spotted a pile of books on her bed and pillows thrown about.

He closed his eyes for a moment listening to the song. _And now I'm stuck, still wondering how it's meant to be. Singing a reckless serenade, reckless serenade. Reckless serenade, reckless serenade._ He looked down before pushing on her door.

* * *

><p>Clary was slumped into her chair, her t-shirt over her mouth while her laptop rested on her legs. She was scrolling through Jace's tumblr tag and tilted her head at his pictures. She clicked on one and stared intently. Was he really as good looking as Isabelle said? She could admit that Jace was nice to look at but to be ranked amongst one of the best looking people at the moment in popular culture, she couldn't quite let herself see that yet. She looked over her laptop for a quick moment then looked back at her computer screen. She froze in confusion and questioned why she was seeing double. She gasped and slammed her laptop shut.<p>

"Jace," She said, not hiding her shock. She put her laptop on her bed and stood up. "What are you doing here?"

"Sorry, um, I should've knocked before I opened your door. Sorry if I scared you," He apologized and she shook her head, feeling jittery and paranoid that he knew that she was looking at pictures of him. She shook away the thought. He wasn't a mind reader.

"No, it's okay. I just wasn't expecting you," She said. He was the last person she thought she would see at her bedroom door in the middle of the day. "Is everything okay?"

"Oh. Yeah," Jace said. "I was just in the neighborhood."

Clary hid her laugh. "You wanted to cruise around Park Slope?"

"Yes." She pursed her lips. "Well, and I wanted to let you know that I'm coming to the show tonight. With my father. We're going with your parents."

"Oh, great," Clary smiled. "Jonathan would love that. Does he know?"

"Not yet," He said and they stood there. "I'll go tell him." Jace turned around.

"Jace," Clary said, and he looked back at her. "Great job on The Today Show this morning. Pop with a little soul is your thing."

He grinned. "Thanks. I'm glad you were able to catch it."

"Yeah, she set like ten alarms so she wouldn't miss it," Jonathan said, coming up behind Jace. "See, you're not ready. I'm heading out. I'll see you there," He said, towards Clary.

"Jace will be there too," Clary told him quickly to diffuse the fact that he just outted her for waking up at six in the morning just to watch Jace perform.

"Awesome," Jonathan said, clamping a hand down on Jace's shoulder. "See you later then, Jace."

"Later," Jace said, with a wave. He looked back at Clary. "Ten alarms, huh?"

"You are a lovely performer," Clary said, ignoring him and trying her hardest to not have her face flare up in embarrassment.

"Well, I should go. My driver is double parked."

"Right," Clary said, with a nod. Clary watched him raise his eyebrows together then he spun on his heel. She looked down and was ready to exhale the breath she was holding in.

"Clary?" She looked up at him. "I'm really glad you watched. Really."

"You have presence," She complimented him. "You did very well. I can see why you filled up that place with screaming girls."

He laughed. "I'll see you." She waved and she waited to hear the front door shut.

She put her hands over her face, muttering, "Jonathan, you're the worst brother ever. I hate you."

* * *

><p>Jace pulled his phone out of the backpocket of his jeans and slid to the right to answer a call.<p>

"Hey, J," He said, holding the phone against his ear.

"Jace, my man. What are you doing tonight?" Jordan, Jace's manager, asked as Jace looked out at the buildings that they were driving past.

"I'm watching a family friend's show tonight with my father," Jace informed.

"Great, I'll be coming along," Jordan exclaimed and Jace's eyebrows furrowed.

"Why?"

"Why not? You're my favorite client and I'm in the city. I'd like to join you," Jordan said.

"Okay," Jace responded, still suspicious. "Don't wear a suit."

* * *

><p>Stephen stepped out of his hotel room and walked down the hallway. Since his reunion with Jocelyn and Luke, he felt lighter despite the realization that he had missed them so much. It was as if he completely forgot how it was to have friends who weren't business associates.<p>

He remembered the first time he met them. He was in the waiting room of the hospital that his sister was giving birth in, with Celine by his side and his mother on her way. They were sitting across the room from him - Luke and Valentine. They had worn out leather jackets and black jeans with holes in the knees, while he wore slacks and a dress shirt. Their legs were shaking non-stop and Celine couldn't help but make conversation. She asked what they were there for and they explained that Valentine's fiancee, Jocelyn, was giving birth. Stephen's eyebrows went up in surprise when they said they were his age - eighteen. He couldn't imagine having a child at eighteen and he understood now why they looked scared out of their wits. Being that she had no boundaries, Celine asked the whereabouts of Jocelyn's parents and she was disappointed that there was no other story than her parents living a couple hours away from London. Stephen remembered making eye contact with Luke and Luke giving him a nod along with a friendly smile. He became friends with Luke first since Valentine looked and was so intense. With more conversation and the exchange of phone numbers, they soon became friends that hung out nightly. Celine and Jocelyn grew the closest when they both became pregnant two years later - Celine with Jace then Jocelyn with Clary. It was the love of music and beer that bonded them all together - enough that they decided to take their daily jam sessions out to local pubs.

It wasn't until Jace and Clary were 2 and Jonathan was already 4 that they were starting to become noticed. They all released the stress of their ordinary 9-5 jobs by playing at a pub close to their apartments. More and more people showed up, then more and more offers started to arise. They met one night, business cards laid on the table, the kids already asleep, and decided that they wanted to give it a try.

The band had a rough, slow and steady beginning until it seemed like one night, they soared to the top, after three years of trying. Then it was three years of constant tours and recording albums. It wasn't until they were in the middle of their fourth year together did it start to become extremely difficult. Egos were built and bruised by the media, Valentine always being the frontman and in the middle of their magazine covers. Jocelyn beside him because they had become rock and roll's model couple with their two children and whirlwind romance. Luke and Stephen were constantly pushed to the side and almost forgotten. With the limelight on Valentine, he was often the one to accept invitations to parties causing Jocelyn to always stay home with the kids, appreciating the help she got from her childhood friend, Luke. Before they knew it, Valentine had a huge drug problem, Stephen and Luke were drinking constantly and Celine and Jocelyn were at each other's throats all the time since they were racked with the stress of having to raise the kids.

While everyone was noticing Valentine and Jocelyn's marriage take hit after hit, cheating rumor after cheating rumor, nobody noticed that Luke and Jocelyn had fallen in love. It was a love that was expected. They were closer than any two friends usually were and it was apparent that Luke would have done anything to make Jocelyn happy - which at one point, he thought it was to let her be with Valentine.

The band broke up at the end of their fifth year together as a band in the public eye. The two years of friendship and constantly being together before that wasn't enough to keep them as friends either. Celine and Jocelyn spoke and saw each other often because the kids were so close but Stephen stayed away from Valentine, whom they all blamed for the slow demise, while Valentine blamed Luke and Jocelyn for their affair, accusing they split everyone from each other.

When Clary and Jonathan were 10 and 12, they were the focal point in Jocelyn and Valentine's nasty public divorce. The headlines spoke of the drugs, the affairs and the betrayal of friendship between Luke and Valentine. There wasn't a paper or magazine in Europe that wasn't reporting on it. After the divorce became final and Jocelyn got full custody of the kids due to Valentine's lack of parental responsibility, Jocelyn and Luke disappeared one day with Clary and Jonathan. They had called Stephen, Celine and Jace once they arrived in America. They knew it was always the plan to move once the divorce was finalized and taken care of but their immediate departure still came as a shock. Stephen always got a lump in his throat when he would remember the inital days that they left. Jace often stayed in his room and didn't come out to eat or talk. He knew Jace was dealing with them leaving the worst and Stephen could see that he was never the same after. Until yesterday, when he saw them and he swooped Clary up in his arms.

"Ready, father?" Jace asked, as Stephen walked out of the elevator and into the lobby.

Jace was wearing black jeans, a plain white t-shirt with a pocket and Stephen's leather jacket thrown on. Stephen smiled, saying, "Yeah. It's been a while since I've been to a good rock show."

"Oh, I'm sure." The two walked towards the revolving doors, a few fans already screaming Jace's name. "I'm assuming you mean _The Uprising_?"

"Of course," Stephen said and Jace gave a laugh.

* * *

><p>"I think he's into you," Isabelle said, pulling her hair up into the messy bun she made before every show.<p>

"No," Clary said, passing her her drum sticks. "I think he just wanted to see where we lived."

"Or where you slept," Isabelle said, arranging her shirt.

"Creepy," Simon commented. "Was there anything romantic between you two? Childhood crushes?"

"No. I mean, he was my first kiss. We were like test subjects for learning how to kiss," Clary said and Simon stopped tuning his guitar to look at her.

"Ew."

"Yeah, I wish I'd phrased it differently," Clary muttered.

"Well, I think your radar is broken. We'll see when we meet him," Isabelle said quickly before Jonathan and Alec joined them.

Clary looked at them all, then clapped her hands, holding them together. "Go ahead and kill it, guys. I know you will."

Alec put the strap of his bass over his head. "Thanks, Clary. How's it looking out there? It sounds loud."

Clary grinned and without saying a word, turned around, walking down the stage steps. Coming out from the left side of the stage, Clary couldn't help but screech a little. The Knitting Factory in Brooklyn was full. People she recognized who came to every show waved and she yelled for them to enjoy the show. She walked through the exit into the bar, seated area and spotted Jocelyn and Luke immediately. They were sitting in a booth with Jace, Stephen and a man she didn't know, who looked young and business-like despite the fact that he was wearing jeans.

"Clary!" Luke called out and she pointed behind her.

"Did you see the crowd? It's _insane_," She said and stood at the end of the table.

"How are they doing?" Jocelyn asked, giddy.

"Good, they haven't looked at the crowd yet so they're eager. They're about to start, should we head in? I think everyone's in there," She said, looking around as the last group of people went into the stage room. Jace and Stephen were sitting at the end of the booth, presumably to hide just in case anyone recognized Jace. "No bodyguards tonight?"

"No, I've already got an exit strategy," Jordan said and Clary looked at him.

"Clary, this is Jordan. He's my manager," Jace introduced. "Jordan, this is Clary."

"Good evening, Clary. I've heard so much about you," Jordan said as they shook hands. Jace hid very slightly.

"Nice to meet you," Clary smiled, politely then turned when the lights went off and the stage lights got brighter. The group rushed into the crowded room and stood in a corner towards the back. "Okay, so, quick orientation," Clary said as Jace stood beside her and leaned down to hear. He was smirking, taking in the view before him. "There," Clary pointed. "Those society guys with their hands in their pockets, those are Isabelle's fans. Those girls right in front usually always come for Jonathan. We have the normal folk that come for good ol' Brooklyn Simon and then there, are the gay guys who love Alec and well, the girls that wish he wasn't gay."

Jace laughed. "Do you have any out here?"

"I have Stuart who willingly volunteers to do merch," Clary pointed at Stuart, who stood behind a large table.

Jace looked forward once the screams began and saw that the band stepped out from behind the curtain. All with wide eyes and huge grins, they assumed their positions. "That's Jonathan's best friend, Alec. He plays bass. That's my sister, Isabelle, she's an amazing drummer," Clary said. "And that," She pointed. "Is Simon. He's my best friend, the lead guitarist and takes the honor of Isabelle's boyfriend." Jace gave a nod but he wasn't smiling anymore. When Clary said Simon was her best friend, a flare of jealously sparked within him and he had to take a moment to push it away.

"Thank you everybody for coming tonight. Fuck, this is insane. We are _The Elite Four_," Jonathan said into the mic, adjusting his guitar and the crowd screamed once more before it became alarmingly silent enough for everyone to hear the light strumming of Simon. Jace watched as Isabelle raised her drum sticks in the air and pulled them down hard, cueing the guitars and bass.

There was an immediate response from the crowd, their arms going up, moving along to the music.

_You're always running around with everyone else but me, you're such a catastrophe, _Jonathan sang and the crowd started to sing and kept up with him. Jace looked to his right where Clary was singing the words, back to her brother, bopping her head. Luke and Jocelyn were grinning, their pride radiating. Jace looked to his left at Stephen, who looked at him smiling and gave him a nod. Jace watched as Jordan was scoping the crowd, looking impressed.

Jace looked back at Clary, the mix of green, yellow, purple, red and blue lights illuminating her face and he took a deep breath. He wanted to reach out and hug her. He realized that there, in that moment, with the crashing of drums and the melding of guitars and the bass, the screams and singing along of the crowd reverberating in the room and being beside the people he was with - he felt like he was at home.

Jace spent the rest of the show bopping his head, singing along when the chorus's became familiar. Their group laughed when Jonathan sang, pointing at Jocelyn.

_Mother, I know you know, I'm having a good time, I'm sleeping so little, But I'm living the good life._

She responded to him with a roll of her eyes, a big smile, saying, "My silly boy."

It wasn't until Jonathan announced that they were about to play their last song of their night, giving their thank you's - Isabelle standing up in the back, blowing kisses, Simon smiling so big that you couldn't see his eyes, and Alec looking into the stage lights, laughing - did Jace realize that he had a perfect glimpse of the life they built when they moved. Jace never took for granted his lifestyle and what had come naturally in his career, but a part of him ached and wished that they could have been together while their lives happened.

"This is my favorite," Clary told him as the song started, pulling his arm a little so he could lean down to hear her. And he understood why the moment Clary raised both her arms in the air.

The moment Jonathan screamed _Come on, check check _the crowd completely moved and sang as one.

Meanwhile, Simon and Alec were pointing, prompting the crowd to sing _Can you hear me now? _while Isabelle's drums provided the music and Jonathan sang _Life throws a punch and I hit the floor. _Clary jumped, making Jace laugh while she and her brother pointed at each other singing, _But she keeps my heart beat beat beating for one beat more. _Then she air drummed Isabelle's solo and immediately whooped.

Jace felt someone pull on his arm lightly and he looked over at Jordan. "Your friends are fucking amazing. I think I have an idea," he said, raising his eyebrows at Jace, whose smile slowly faded.

* * *

><p><em>I'm outside. Can you meet me?<em>

After the show, the band stayed around to talk while Clary led the group out the back with a goodbye. Quickly, she and Jace exchanged numbers so they could meet up again and they got into two black town cars, driving off. Sitting on their couch at home, Clary reached over for her phone on the coffee table. She read the text and left the room in a rush. She jogged down the steps and opened the door, wrapping her arms around herself when the cold hit her and she looked at Jace, who was standing on the sidewalk.

"Hey," She smiled.

"Hey." He didn't smile back and she bit her bottom lip nervously. "I wanted to talk to you about something. My father is on the way because we have to talk to you and your family."

"Is it bad?" Clary asked. "I mean, the band is inside and we're planning our next show since tonight went so well and -"

"No, it's better that they're here. They need to hear it too."

"Wait, what? What does the band have to do with anything?" Clary asked, walking down two steps.

"I'll explain everything. I just wanted to talk to you before my father arrived," Jace said but the two were greeted immediately.

"Clarissa," Stephen said, getting out of a cab. "What are you doing here without a coat? It's chilly. Let's go inside. Me and Jace have news."

"Father, I wanted to talk to Clary before -"

"We both have the same thing to tell her, so come on, let's not waste time. This is something great that should be discussed," Stephen said, and took Clary by the hand, leading her in.

She looked at Jace and shrugged, letting Stephen take the lead.

Jace stood there and let his head tilt back. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **So I hope the explanation of _The Uprising_ made sense and I hope the way I described the music painted a picture. I really wanted readers to be able to imagine what I was seeing when it came to _The Elite Four_ performing so I used three songs from actual bands. If you guys want to bring those scenes to life, you can listen to the songs. They are:

**Catastrophe - Four Year Strong**

**That For Me - Forever The Sickest Kids**

**Wrecked 'em, Damn Near Killed 'em - Four Year Strong**

The song Jace heard in Clary's room was **Reckless Serenade by Arctic Monkeys**.

**Please continue to be awesome and let me know what you guys thought!** A good amount went on, so please, tell me what parts you liked or stuck out to you or just if you enjoyed it. **Reviews and feedback, please!**

* * *

><p>Shout out to <strong>Guest (Cici), Guest, LOVERGIRL, Guest, imcrazyanditscontagious, Daire123, cfire27, rcs17 and infinitemaddys! <strong>Thank you for your reviews, I very much so am a fan of them. I hope you all enjoyed this long chapter - please let me know what you think!

**Guest (Cici):** Thank you for your review and reading along! The build up will definitely be paying off and they'll be having their conversation soon :)

**Guest: **Thank you for your review and thank you so much for commenting on my writing. It really pushes me to write better when readers review nice things like you did!

**LOVERGIRL:** Thank you for your review! I hope you liked this chapter as well!

**Guest:** Thank you for your review and for bringing this up! Clary is definitely stubborn enough in this story to not be the one to bring it up, no worries at all and she's not the type to wait around for Jace, even if they were good friends when they were young. I hope this shows more in her personality as the story goes on :)_  
><em>

**Daire123: **Thank you for your review! I'm really glad you liked the part with them talking, Jonathan involved. I was hoping to make him be the one to make them less awkward so I like that you mentioned him. Also, the moment will be very soon :) Thank you for always mentioning what you like and your thoughts on what may happen, I love it.


	5. Long Lost Confessions

**A/N:** Okay, I lied. But I didn't mean to. This chapter is longer than the last one. I didn't think that was possible but I fooled myself in the last A/N for thinking it. Sorry about these book chapters if they are of inconvenience. But I don't think you guys will mind because two huge questions I left in last chapter's cliffhanger will both be answered.

**Thank you to who reviewed, favorited, alerted! I write these long ass chapters for you, my friends. **Other A/N and replies on the bottom, as usual.

* * *

><p>Clary looked back at Jace while he closed the apartment door. The band already stood up in a rush to shake Stephen's hand as Jocelyn and Luke greeted him with glee and surprise. Isabelle, Alec and Simon lined up to meet Stephen then went back to the couch, sitting beside each other while Jonathan sat in a love seat. She could hear them all saying hello but the noise was tuned out by her thoughts about the one walking towards her. There was something in his eyes that put a lump in her throat. He felt heavy and no longer had the lightness or innocent awkwardness that they had since they saw each other at The Mall.<p>

"Are you okay?" She whispered as he stood before her.

He smiled very slightly. Clary was sure that it was a no. Leading her by her elbow, the two walked towards the couches and coffee table in Jocelyn and Luke's apartment located on the second floor of their building.

"Why did I have the urge to call him Mr. President?" Simon asked quietly to Isabelle, who gave him an odd look. Simon looked up and Isabelle followed where his gaze fell. Her eyes lit up seeing Jace and Clary beside each other, his hand cupping her right elbow. She stood up immediately.

Clary turned to Isabelle once she stood up and seeing that she looked eager, she turned to Jace. "This is Jace," She introduced. "Jace, this is Isabelle."

Isabelle walked towards him and the two shook hands.

"Clary told me you were her sister?" Jace asked and Isabelle looked at Clary, with a big smile. Jace chuckled a little and Isabelle sat back down, too overjoyed with Clary's nice words about her to say anything in reply. Next was Alec.

"Hey man, I'm Alec," Alec said, shaking Jace's hand.

Simon was right behind Alec, reaching over rudely – something Alec rolled his eyes at then sat back down afterwards. "I'm Simon," Simon said, sticking out his hand, looking friendly.

Jace wanted to laugh at the interaction between Simon and Alec and held out his hand, calling himself stupid for previously getting jealous of Simon for a moment during their show. "I'm Jace. Nice meeting you all," He shook Simon's hand then put his hand in the air for Alec and Isabelle, who returned in smiles.

"Is everything alright, Stephen? I thought you had an flight early in the morning," Jocelyn asked, from the kitchen where she was cooking with Luke. "Although we do love your unexpected visit."

"Yes, everything is great. I have wonderful news," Stephen said, obviously overjoyed as he took off his coat per request of Jonathan, who hung it up on the rack.

Clary couldn't help but look up at Jace. He looked the opposite of someone who had wonderful news.

"Well, Jace was in meetings all day yesterday because of this and Jordan found the solution tonight at your show. We will explain it all but I'll ask you this first. Would you, _The Elite Four_, like to join the The U.S. leg of Jace's tour?"

The reactions all happened together.

Simon immediately asked, "Wait, what?"

Isabelle and Clary both gasped, putting their hands over their mouths in shock.

Alec leaned forward, with excited eyes, "Are you serious?"

The kitchen utensils dropped right out of the hands of Jocelyn and Luke.

Jonathan almost fell off the couch he was sitting on the edge of. Stephen was looking at him, with a smirk and Jonathan was staring. "Stephen, is this for real?" Jonathan asked. "How is this even possible?" He asked, looking at Jace.

Clary looked up at Jace, who was already looking at her. As they stared at each other for a moment, he could see the moment it clicked and the excitement slowly drained from her eyes. He turned away to look at Jonathan.

"The Clave thought it would perfect for you to join the tour," Jace said. "I've never seen the calls happen so quickly before." Jace looked around. "Well, that's not true," He whispered and scrunched his nose as the all the times he had done something stupid never got out to the press came to mind.

"Who is The Clave?" Isabelle asked. "They sound like a jury."

"They are my management," Jace explained.

"And they were for _The Uprising_ for as long as we were together," Jocelyn said, quietly. Clary looked at Jocelyn and she knew that her mother was just as excited as everyone else, but was worrying about the same concerns.

The room got a little quiet and the realization of unwanted memories filled the room.

"Um, what exactly did The Clave say?" Clary asked, hesitantly, wanting to break the tension.

"Well," Jace started. "While Jordan was at the show tonight, he had the idea of putting _The Elite Four_ on tour with me because my opening act for The U.S. can no longer make it. It happened last minute and we were thinking of what do during a meeting yesterday. You guys did so amazing, he believes you guys should get out there and be known."

"But isn't there a difference in music?" Jonathan asked.

"I asked that too. I was wondering if it would effect the shows and the people that would go," Jace said. "But The Clave said that the idea would be perfect and that it wouldn't make a difference, being that the tickets are almost sold out at all venues." He looked to Clary, who listened intently. "They're trying to create this sort of ... reunion."

"The children of _The Uprising_," Jonathan said, with a nod. "Yeah. I see the appeal."

"Yeah," Jace said, quietly.

"The Clave is still on their toes, that's for sure," Luke commented.

"I know this is quite fast," Stephen spoke up. "The tour starts October 17th in Los Angeles. We didn't provide any answers to anyone and we came right away to ask you."

The band looked at each other, Clary standing above them.

"Okay, we're gonna need some quick yay's or nay's." Jonathan looked to Simon.

"Yay. I'll be telling my bodega job on my way home that I am quitting immediately," Simon said.

"I'm a yay," Isabelle said, shaking her head in disbelief at what was going on.

"Definitely a yay," Alec said, with a nod.

Jonathan looked at Clary and they stared at one another for a few moments. You could see that Jonathan knew Clary had doubts but he looked to her as a guide on what to do. Even though Jonathan was older, he always found his strength in Clary - it had always been like that.

Isabelle looked between Clary and Jonathan, anxiously. She knew that no one else knew about Clary and Jace. Clary had told her as much and Isabelle was there to pick up the pieces for years when they stopped talking. She knew that Clary wasn't only thinking of the life she thought they put behind - the stories she told Isabelle used to have her crying along with Clary. But she could hear Clary saying the words _I just feel like talking about the past is going to make this more complicated than it has to be _just yesterday and she knew that this was probably the last thing Clary expected to happen.

"I'm whatever you are," Jonathan said, quietly.

"This isn't even something we should yay or nay about, it's too amazing to pass up," Clary said then smiled. "I'm a yay."

"Oh my God," Isabelle said, squealing a little.

"We're going on tour," Alec said out loud as if the words were foreign to him.

"Goodbye, Bodega!" Simon rejoiced making Clary laugh.

Jonathan was grinning from ear to ear and he stood up to pick up Clary and spin her around.

"Okay, so do you guys have any music recorded or do we need to get you all into the studio?" Stephen asked and had already pulled out his phone to call Jordan.

"Of course. My father said that if we were to be a real band, we were going to have a real EP. It was his way of saying that he accepted our lifestyle and hobbies," Isabelle said.

"Our mother cried that night," Alec shared.

Stephen laughed. "Did you want to call your parents before Jordan makes the call to The Clave?"

Simon shook his head. "No, Clary's there. They all trust her."

"Okay, okay, there's a lot of details and things we need to do before the tour starts so you guys will be busy until then," Stephen warned.

"What can you do!" Simon, Isabelle and Alec said in unison.

Jonathan put Clary down and pulled Luke and Jocelyn into a hug where Luke laughed and Jocelyn pulled Jonathan's head down so she could kiss the top of it.

Clary was smiling when she faced Jace. He was smiling back at her but she still saw something in his eyes that pulled at her heart strings.

She pointed up at the ceiling. "Roof?"

* * *

><p>Clary pushed the metal door forward with a little effort then kicked the door stop under it. "Jace, are you okay? Is it because of the tour? Did you not want the band on it?" Clary asked consecutively. He had been so quiet and so serious since he arrived that she wasn't sure what to think. Even when he was smiling and seemingly excited for the tour, it didn't reach his eyes.<p>

"No, of course I do. I got excited the moment Jordan told me about the idea but.." He trailed off as he looked around him. There were chairs and hung up Christmas lights that weren't turned on. He wasn't surprised. Clary had a thing for roofs since she was young - hanging out on the top of buildings and laying on top of a car roofs were some of her favorite things to do every night. "I just know that this might be a little difficult for you. I mean, unless you wanted to stay. Although, my father already told Jordan that you were the manager and had to go along, even if Jordan was going to be helping you out." Jace shrugged. "I mean, we also have Maia. I wouldn't worry too much about -"

"Jace?"

"Right," Jace said, stopping his tangent. "I feel like these past two days have just changed everything and I'm still trying to process it."

Clary gave a nod. She definitely agreed.

"I just know that our parents' lifestyle and how it was just crazy all the time bothered you the most and now, it's like you can't get away from it."

Clary shrugged, looking off. "I'm starting to realize that maybe we were never supposed to leave," She said, quietly. "It wasn't the music and the crazy life we were living that didn't sit well with me, that part was amazing. It was the consequences." Clary stopped then looked down for a moment. "But you and Jonathan really shine on the stage. That's meant to be."

"I'm sure you would too," Jace told her.

"I'm not willing to find out," Clary admitted. "Memories and whatever has happened can't get in the way of this. This is too big, it's larger than us individually. It's not something that can be passed."

Jace nodded. "Uh, look, Clary. I didn't really want to talk to you about the tour. I would've felt better if I could've said this before we brought it up but -" He looked at her, nervously. He had his hands stuffed into his back pockets and was shifting his weight onto the balls of his feet. "I want to apologize."

Clary took in a breath. She looked away and shifted her weight from side to side. She wasn't expecting him to bring it up - she was still trying to wrap her head around the fact that he was going to be a constant in her life. It had only been thirty minutes since she found out and she almost wanted to stop him from saying anything else before her world was completely shook.

"What I did, what I said," Jace said, looking up. "I have always regretted it. I was eleven and stupid."

"Well, I was eleven and vulnerable," Clary said, her emotions starting to spark up within her.

He looked at her, taken back at her tone.

Clary breathed in deep. "I think I should sit if we're going to do this," Clary said, making her way and sitting in one of the lawn chairs they had on the roof. She sat back into it and raised her hands to cover her face, the memory of it playing clearly.

_Clary tapped her fingers on the desk in Isabelle's room. Her arm was laid across the table and she rested on her upper arm, staring at the snow globe Isabelle had on her desk. Clary reached out and shook it, watching the white specs float down in the water and bunch up at the bottom. The phone was ringing for what seemed to be minutes and no one still picked up. Clary had called twice a day for the past five days and every time she spoke to someone, it was never him. Not talking to him was all she could think about, she woke up in the middle of night wondering if she should call or wondering why he wasn't contacting her. Clary gnawed on her bottom lip impatiently then bit hard by accident once someone answered. _

_"Hello?"_

_"Hi, Celine! This is Clary, um, is Jace around?" Clary asked, putting a finger on her lip that she was surprised wasn't bleeding. _

_"Hi, Clary baby. Yeah, he's finally home this time," Celine said and Clary could hear the rustling as she walked. Finally, Clary thought, he's finally home or not sleeping. "Jace," Celine said, knocking on his door. "Clary's on the phone." _

_Clary waited. _

_"Jace," Celine repeated. Clary sat up when she heard a door open, the phone being taken and the door closed again. _

_"Jace?" Clary asked when a few seconds passed. _

_Nothing. Then finally, he said, a short and annoyed sounding, "Yeah." _

_"Hey, I've been trying to reach you for days. You've been out or sleeping or -" _

_"Yeah," Jace repeated, sounding more annoyed than before. _

_Clary's shoulders began to sink. "What's wrong? We haven't talked in almost a week. Last time was when we arrived and you sounded fine then."_

_"I don't really know what to say to you, Clary," Jace muttered. He sounded so disinterested, Clary had a knot in her stomach and she was biting her thumb nail._

_"You don't know what to say to me? Tell me about your day, what you're doing when you're always out. Something," She said and he didn't reply. "Hello?" She asked, with more force now. "Can I tell you about our days here? It's been kinda crazy. We've finally started to adjust to living with the Lightwoods and -" Clary knew she was talking fast but she heard Jace whisper something. "What?" _

_"I said, just stop," Jace said, loud and clear now. "I don't want to hear about your day. Or any of your days. Or what you're doing with your new Lightwood family." _

_Clary felt like her world had stopped. She kept waiting to hear him say that he was joking. But all she got was silence and the harsh sound of her own breathing. She wondered if he hung up. _

_"But-"_

_"I don't care, Clary. Okay? I don't care about what's going on there," Jace told her. _

_"So tell me about there," Clary whispered. She knew it sounded pathetic but she had to talk as softly as she could so he wouldn't hear her start to cry. _

_"No," Jace said. "Look, I don't want you calling me anymore."_

_"What happened? Why are you acting like this?" Clary demanded and she closed her eyes in defeat when her voice cracked mid-sentence._

_"I don't want to talk to you. Now or ever. You aren't here and there's no reason why we should talk anymore, Clarissa," Jace said, harshly. _

_"What is wrong with you?" Clary almost screamed. She heard him sigh. She wanted to slam the phone repeatedly into the desk._

_"I don't want to talk to you anymore," Jace said. "You guys left so let's just lead our different lives. We're never gonna see each other again." _

_"You don't know that," Clary fought back. _

_"I do. And I don't care," Jace said and Clary covered her mouth tight so he wouldn't hear her cries._

_"Why are you saying these things?" She asked. He didn't answer. "What do you not care about, Jace?" _

_"Everything!" He yelled and she could hear the anger in his voice. "About your new life or that you're gone or about your family! I don't care about you, Clary or anything you have to say so just STOP calling me!" _

_Before she could hear him say anything else, she slammed the phone back into the holder and she stared in shock. After a moment, she screamed and stood up so fast, the chair fell back. She wanted to throw herself against the wall and punch the wall with her fists and kick everything. Concerned, Isabelle ran inside to see Clary on the floor screaming and crying so she shut her door and grabbed Clary by her shoulders asking over and over what had happened. Clary didn't answer or say anything until the next day and Isabelle never left her side until she was ready to talk._

When Clary pulled her hands down her face, her eyes were teared up. Jace's concerned eyes stared at her while she refused to look at him.

"I'm so sorry, Clary. God, I'm so fucking sorry."

"You know that was the hardest adjustment. It wasn't moving to a place we barely knew. It wasn't that we had to completely start our lives over or that we were getting used to having a new family support us. It was that there was no trace of you and you made so much of me," Clary said, looking down, her hands held tightly together in her lap, her hair covering her face. Jace could see the tears drop onto her hand, the lights of the sky glimmering in them. "You were my whole world, I _needed_ you. I needed my best friend." Clary finally detached her hands from each other and wiped, her face turned away from Jace. "I thought maybe you were dealing with the fact that we left so quickly and unexpectedly but..." She shook her head a little and looked up. Jace gulped seeing her tear-stained face and he remembered so vividly the little girl he used to let cry on his shoulder for hours when things were hard for her. "You never called and you never took it back," Clary said, the tears starting to fall freely with him to witness as she looked out at the night sky. "So," She said, taking a deep breath as she tried to compose herself. "I accepted that you meant it and I tried to forget about you and it worked. It was as if you were a dream, a past life that held pain and this surreal life of affairs, drugs and huge arenas. The only things left were pictures, CD's or whenever Luke or my mom would get noticed by fans. Other than that, it was like you never existed."

Jace couldn't help but turn his head a little at the words that struck him.

"But then you showed up - in paparazzi pictures, in duets with other artists and then you were starting to be everywhere. With your music, your own pictures and reports that people were wanting to work with you," Clary said and she couldn't help but smile remembering that although she was hurting at the time, she was proud at what he doing for himself. "It was like an open wound everywhere I went. And I was able to think that you were just some famous guy and as much as I could, I learned to separate you from the person I once knew. Then I was told our families were meeting again and I prepared my heart and mind to be strong when I saw you and to not give you a part of me that cared but that melted away the moment you were running to us. You were so familiar to me and I missed you so much after not allowing myself to miss you for so long."

She looked at him, her face dry from the wind, no longer shedding tears. "I figured I would enjoy being familiar with you and then you would leave and disappear. But this, this feels like we're going to be connected forever again and I don't know if it's foolish of me to believe you'll be around for a long time and we'll be tied to each other for a while. It probably is." She looked at Jace, the pain still evident on his face. "I don't hate you, Jace. I don't think I ever found it in myself to do so. And it doesn't sting when I see you now, I completely forget when I see you in person. This reunion has made things different. I've made peace with it for a while but now I've closed the door on that part of our lives. I got the closure I needed. Isabelle was right, of course."

Clary sat there and Jace continued to look like he was in physical pain.

"Clary, I don't have an excuse for what I've done and I've always carried it with me -"

"Then why didn't you call? I never understood why you didn't just take it back."

"I couldn't," Jace said, quietly.

"I don't get it. I wish you could just explain to me what it was you were thinking then maybe I'd-"

"Clary, I loved you."

"And I will love you forever but-"

"No, Clary. I was _in_ love with you," He said, peaking at her, with his face still down.

Clary sat there, her mouth open a little. She looked around as if she was trying to process what he had just said.

"But we were-" She was saying to herself.

"Eleven, I know. But I've always been sure of it, after all these years. I loved you." She didn't respond, just looked down. "I was so in love with you that I couldn't bear your absence. I honestly thought we would end up with one another, in that silly way kids do. I believed we were literally born to be together. And you being gone made me realize that it was impossible. That is why I turned you away like that. I couldn't just have a piece of you. It was more than being hurt and me not wanting to deal with it. I was dealing with the fact that you weren't going to be one I would end up with. It was ... devastating." Jace shook his head as if he was going through the memories. "Time went by and I became more afraid of how you would reject me if I ever reached out to you. Then I felt like I didn't want to disturb the life you had. I thought that when we would see each other, you would hate me and I'd hate myself more than I already did but ... seeing you changed everything. I couldn't see anymore days that you weren't in. I was planning to keep in touch with you despite this tour."

"Well then, the plan of you falling into a pool of fan girls wouldn't have worked out," Clary mumbled.

"What?"

Clary shook her head.

"It doesn't change the fact that I have never reached out all those years or that I missed the time when you needed me the most but I had truly forgotten what it was like to have you in my life. Our families together feels like home to me. I've forgotten that and I'm a coward for it. I'm sorry I wasn't there. If there's anything I regret, it is because I wasn't there when I promised you over and over that I would be." Clary didn't say a word, but continued to sit there, trying to come to terms with everything. "I'm not looking for you to tell me that you felt the same way about me. I didn't think you did. I know for so many years of your life, you were just wondering if we would all be okay the next day or if the fighting would stop or what you would happen with your family. But I fell in love with you back then because of those things." Jace gulped when the silence was too loud between them. "I needed you to know why and how sorry I am, Clary. I hope you'll be able to get passed it and be okay with me in your life again. I would understand if you weren't."

Jace walked towards her, pulling off his jacket. He laid it on the arm rest of the chair and she looked up at him. He looked into her eyes and pursed his lips. He cast his eyes downward then walked towards the door, leaving her there. She pulled the jacket on and looked around, letting the cold air blow against her face.

* * *

><p>Jace sat on the couch, staring at the coffee table before him while the background talking about the tour continued. He looked up when she appeared. She was holding three Converse shoe boxes and he sat up in surprise. She sat beside him gingerly and opened one of the boxes.<p>

Clary pulled out a couple photos. She held it between them. "So, in this picture, me and Isabelle were about 13 and ..." Jace smiled to himself as she spoke. He knew this was her way of saying she was ready to start moving past what happened and that she was going to begin telling him what he missed all those years. After getting a good look at the picture, Jace looked up at her face and she looked back at him. And he knew then that he never wanted to abandon that face again.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** I'm hoping you guys enjoyed this as much as I liked writing these emotional Clace scenes. Also, the tour. You guys had some wonderful guesses and some were really almost right there! It was a big chapter, I hope you guys got all wrapped up in it. I wrote this knowing I had to be up in a couple hours but it was worth finishing it and knowing I'm gonna lack sleep. Well, at least I think so, haha.

Okay, I definitely need to write a chapter up for As Lovers Go after this but of course, I'll be back to this story after I get my ideas written and updated for my other story.

**Go on, continue being your amazing reader selves and please review and give me feedback! I am loving these reviews/alerts/favorites, they always make me smile.**

* * *

><p>Shout out to <strong>EmFinch, rcs17, infinitemaddys, Guest (Cici), TesaRose, LOVERGIRL, Guest, Riley207, DeathCabForMari, Daire123, Guest, cfire27, imcrazyanditscontagious , Islandgirl4evR, and roobear608<strong>! Thank you so very much. I love your reviews, love love love them. Please keep them coming! (PM's replies will be coming soon!)

**Guest (CiCi):** Thank you for your review! If you look forward to updates, I always look forward to your review and what you liked. Thank you for taking the time. I hope you loved all that happened in this chapter!

**LOVERGIRL: **Thank you for your review! I hope you liked the chapter :)

**Guest: **Thank you for your review and keeping up with the updates! I love that you love this story :)

**Daire123: **Oh, your through process is not crazy at all. It is a writer's dream, haha. You definitely make me happy with your long reviews and telling me everything you liked or thought. I laughed imagining the part with Clary not expecting Jace so I'm happy you did too! Jace wasn't happy with Jordan's idea at first but I hope I made it clear why. And you were so close in your theory! I made sure to answer your concern about Jace and Simon in the story, I hope it settled any questions about them. Lol, glad you pointed out the mention of the first kiss. It's cute that they are but definitely twisted in how she described it, haha. Hope you enjoyed this one!

**Guest:** Thank you for your review! I hope you loved this chapter just as much :)


	6. Clary?

**A/N: **I absolutely LOVED the reaction to the last chapter. **Thank you for the reviews, favorites and alerts!** My face literally lights up every time I receive them and I always want to send out the smiling, blushing emojis when I get a review.

There's a part where it quickly shifts point of view for a couple lines, I hope it isn't confusing. Please reach out to me if it is, I'll change it to italics if needed. Another A/N & thank yous at the bottom - onto the chapter!

* * *

><p><em>Here's an Elvis Duran and The Morning Show online exclusive.<em>

Isabelle wiggled her eyebrows at Clary and Clary returned a look of confusion. Isabelle rolled her eyes. Her jabs and innuendos about Clary and Jace secretly loving each other had gone right over Clary's head. At least, Clary was acting like she didn't understand the elbow nudges or any type of hints that Isabelle was dropping. Clary shot her the look of an annoyed petulant child then turned forward so they could watch the streaming video on the Z100 radio website.

"Why are you so close to the screen, Clary?" Isabelle asked and Clary reached behind her to slap Isabelle's arm.

* * *

><p>"Jace Herondale, everybody!" Elvis almost screamed into the mic as Jace walked into the room. He smiled big, holding his coffee mug with the green and blue Elvis Duran and The Morning Show logo. He sat down and put the large headphones over his ears.<p>

"Hello," He spoke into mic.

"Hello!" Bethany from the morning show said in reply.

"It is crazy out there! Did you go right through that to get into the building?" Elvis asked.

"I wish. We were told to go through the back," Jace said, chuckling into the mic. "Apparently I'm not allowed to go jump into the crowds at this time of the morning."

Elvis, Bethany and the crew laughed.

"Is that something that you want to do at this point of your career, Jace? Jump into the crowds of screaming girls?" Bethany asked.

"I really do want to try it!" Jace said, turning his swivel chair to look at her, gripping the arm rests.

"I don't think I'd advise that if you don't want to be stripped naked," Elvis warned.

Jace shrugged. "I mean, there are sacrifices to making my dreams come true."

"Do you hear that teens, women and children? Jace Herondale _wants_ you to rip his clothes off!" Elvis said and they cued the microphones from outside that resulted in hearing the screams from the crowd.

Jace laughed into the mic. "On behalf of Elvis, I want to take out children from that equation. I want to really avoid falling on and crushing a child."

The room roared in laughter. Clary shook her head with a smile on her face at Jace, who was charming them, while she and Isabelle watched her from her laptop at the Lightwood residence.

"So, welcome," Bethany said, putting her hands out in front of her. "This is your first visit with us, is that right?"

"Certainly not the last," Elvis commented.

"Well, I hope not," Jace said then looked at Bethany. "Yes, this is my first time. I heard you play my song on the radio before I arrived. I yelled and jumped, the whole lot. And with the massive crowd outside - it's just all pretty amazing."

"It's definitely been a ride for you after The Today Show, hasn't it?" Elvis asked.

"Yeah, yeah, it has," Jace said, adjusting his chair closer and immediately his voice was heard more clear. "After I performed, it kind of got a little crazy here in America. Uh, this is my first time back since then. I mean, it's only been a month and," Jace shook his head. "Yeah, it's been crazy to say the least. But it's great. Surreal."

"And your tour starts in a couple days?" Bethany asked.

"Mhm. Two days and nineteen hours." They laughed and he smiled. "I'm excited. I've got one of those countdowns on my phone," He said, chuckling while he looked down at the table before him.

"You got to relax a little before you came back. How was that?" Elvis asked.

"It was good. I was just hanging out with my father and some friends. Just people I won't be seeing for a while. I _really_ enjoyed my bed," Jace said, with a nod. "I wish I could've brought it along with me."

"Do you get homesick often while on tours?" Bethany spoke up. Elvis and Bethany hadn't taken their eyes off him and he looked right back at them, trying to handle the interview with an air of ease. It was his first big radio interview in America.

"Um. I wouldn't say too much. I adjust easily to being on the road," Jace replied.

"Oh, that's right!" Elvis said and glanced very briefly at a paper on the table. "You grew up on tour, didn't you?"

Jace's smile could be heard through the microphone as he responded, "I did. I was lucky enough to go around as a kid."

"There's something kinda cool going on in your upcoming tour," Elvis started and Jace knew it was coming. His heart was fluttering just thinking about the question being brought up. "Your opening band is _The Elite Four_ and it's said that the other two kids you grew up with, while on tour with _The Uprising_, are involved in the band?"

"Yeah," Jace said and he knew he sounded too excited. "It's gonna awesome. Their lead singer was like a brother to me growing up and everyone else is really cool. Clary actually isn't in the band but she manages them and helps a ton even in the recording studio."

"God, just the way he says your _name_," Isabelle commented and Clary rolled her eyes. "You can hear the-"

"Isabelle," Clary warned.

"Everyone listening in and watching knows who you are now," Isabelle continued and Clary stayed silent knowing there was nothing she could say to get Isabelle to stop talking.

Jace cursed at himself while he saw Elvis's eyes light up and Maia shaking her head from behind the glass door.

"Clary?" Elvis asked.

"He's so stupid," Clary said, from behind her hands. "Oh my God, he's so stupid."

"Wow. A couple hours in New York City and he's basically outted you two," Isabelle said.

"Ugh," Clary groaned, slapping her forehead as she stared at Jace's face on the laptop screen wondering how he was going to recover.

"Oh. Hah, yeah." He cleared his throat. "She was my best mate as a kid."

"Aw, how cute!" Bethany cooed.

"Yeah, it'll be really nice to be out on the road with them again. Just like old times," Jace said and was hoping the subject would be changed.

"That's really an amazing idea. I actually went to a show when _The Uprising_ came to New York one time," Elvis shared.

"Hey, maybe I saw you!" Jace said, immediately, glad to be finding a way to move on from talking about Clary.

"Maybe. I was good looking back then," Elvis said.

Bethany mumbled, "I don't think that's possible, Elvis."

Jace laughed along with the room when really he was panicking internally because he knew he let her name slip and he shouldn't have. He was laughing along to let out some of the nervousness he created. He wanted to punch himself in the face.

* * *

><p>"You're awful," Magnus said, staring at the racks of clothes he had brought in for Jace.<p>

"I know," Jace said, sitting on the edge of his hotel bed, biting his thumb nail.

"I mean, you just brought attention directly to her. 'Clary Morgenstern' is going to be the most googled name today," Magnus continued and Jace stopped staring off and glared at the back of his head, purple glitter in his spikes.

"I get it," Jace muttered and stood up. "Magnus, are we done here? I need to go meet her and apologize profusely."

Magnus turned to face him. He scrunched his nose. "You have these awful dark circles under your eyes. Let me get some make up to fix it. And your hair is simply a mess, you can't go out like that."

"No." Jace pointed. "I will remain make up free until need be and it's fine, that's what this is for," Jace grabbed his black beanie, pulling it onto his head.

Magnus glared as Jace walked away. "This is by far the most excited I've been for a tour because I finally get to have some _fun_ putting makeup on people who don't swat me away!"

Jace waved his hand at him. "I'm sure, Magnus. You know what clothes I like," Jace said while pointing to the racks of clothes.

"Boring ones!"

"Yeah, those. Just choose for me. Thanks!" The door slammed behind him.

Magnus shook his head. "Miscreant."

* * *

><p>"See you tonight, Izzy," Clary said, grabbing her beanie from the kitchen counter as she walked towards the elevator that was the only way of going in and out of the Lightwood's penthouse. She pulled her black beanie on.<p>

"Ohh! No beanie's gonna hide you from those fans, Clary!" Isabelle said, following her.

Clary pushed the elevator button and looked over her shoulder at Isabelle. "You're ridiculous." The elevator opened and she stepped in.

"Call me if you get mauled. I'll bring my taser!" Isabelle said right before the elevator door slid shut and she saw a not so friendly finger from Clary. She giggled, jumping a little. "This is so fun," She said, with a sigh of satisfaction.

When Clary got out of the elevator, she walked towards the clear doors and waved to the door man. "See you tonight, Ernie," She said, and he smiled back.

"See ya, Clary," Ernie replied as Clary opened the doors. She looked around her surroundings and put her hands in her camel colored pea-coat. She rolled her eyes at herself realizing that there was no way girls would know her face already and be looking out for her. She continued her walk without paranoia.

Clary checked her phone, clicking through emails, replying to those that needed her answer. She had become an expert at walking without bumping into anyone while she answered texts, calls and emails on her phone. She became one of the business people talking loudly into her phone - without all the meanness. Well, yet.

Since Jace left, he wasn't the only one thrown into chaos. _The Elite Four_ were thrown into a rush the moment they agreed to go on tour. Their EP was immediately added onto iTunes from The Clave. It was on the rise, selling like crazy once it was announced that they were going on tour with Jace. It was arranged that they do a photo shoot for any promotional things The Clave had in mind. They even secretly took pictures of Clary as she watched and helped in the background. They were rehearsing everyday, even songs that they hadn't played in years. Clary helped as they were starting to write and think of ideas for new songs that they could add into their set list.

Jordan helped Clary in working through arrangements and included her in all the emails. He said she would be his young prodigy. _The Elite Four_ had an almost sold out show two nights prior in Webster Hall - a venue Jordan helped them get. He also snagged them a night performing at The Roxy in LA during their three day stay. He booked the place the same day it was announced that they were adding another night for Jace at the Greek Theater.

Clary was sorting through emails that requested for interviews with the band as she walked into a Starbucks to grab a drink. Not bothering to look around and not at her phone, Clary didn't spot the three girls in the corner, whispering as they stared at her. She finally looked up when the barista called her name and she snagged her coffee with a smile and a thank you. She walked out and the girls were already looking at their phone, looking up pictures under Clary's name.

* * *

><p>Jace walked quick through the park. He had his headphones in and was listening to <em>The Elite Four<em>'s EP. He hadn't stopped listening to it since he bought it on iTunes. At first, he was enjoying the music, learning their songs to the point that he sang them without actually listening to the CD. Then, when he noticed Clary's name as a writer - he started to analyze lyrics. If she wasn't listed as a contributing writer, she was listed there for playing an instrument or for singing in the background.

He could hear her so clearly once he knew what she was doing - playing piano or singing vocals with Isabelle. Jace always tried to picture her playing in the studio or behind a microphone. When they were young, they were given the opportunity to learn from their parents and people on tour to learn an instrument. They had the choice of guitar, bass, drums or piano from a bodyguard, who used to play. Jonathan chose guitar and bass. Jace chose piano and guitar. Clary chose drums and piano. They always had music lessons after being home schooled and it was one of their favorite parts of the day.

There was a song that she wrote the lyrics completely on her own and Jace probably listened to it so many times, he sang those words in his sleep.

_If you could read between the lines_  
><em>You would know that<em>  
><em>Time's not on our side<em>  
><em>Gotta go the world is moving<em>  
><em>Moving<em>  
><em>Gotta go the world is moving<em>  
><em>Way too fast<em>

Jace air drummed to himself for a moment as he walked into The Mall. He and Clary agreed to meet right in the middle like last time they reunited. He craned his neck to look around and he smiled when he spotted her. He stopped his music, stuffing the headphones in his pocket and he ran for it. He saw her as she looked up and smiled. She put her coffee down and she stood up.

Jace stopped running and outstretched his arms out to his sides. "I'm so so so sorry about saying your name on the air."

"It's okay," She laughed and he hugged her, picking her up off the ground.

"It's just not convenient for you at all," He said, and they walked to the bench her coffee was and sat down. She handed it over to him and he gulped some down. "Thank you," He said, handing it over. "Good. That one is good," He pointed.

She drank some then put it down. "Aren't you supposed to be a tea lover by now?"

"Well, I may have been if you didn't have a phase where you drank three cups a day because you thought you were Rory Gilmore," Jace said and she gasped.

"I _am _Rory Gilmore," She said, feigning shock. _  
><em>

He laughed and motioned for the coffee. He drank some more and she looked around. The leaves were completely changed this time they met. It was an array of orange and golden yellow. She picked up a leaf and laid it on her hand. Jace held out the cup to her and she shook it to find it empty. She side-eyed him and he grinned like a guilty little boy.

"So," Jace said. "Nice to see you."

When Jace had left, Clary did have the lingering fear that he wouldn't speak to her until they saw each other again. She wasn't sure how he would act having a long distance friendship. She had never encountered one with him before. But the two had facetimed or he called at night when he knew her day was ending. They had texted numerous times throughout the day. They kept in touch, trying to make up for time lost and getting to know each other again. It helped them become almost completely comfortable, although Clary could still feel an odd tension she couldn't quite put her finger on when they were together in person.

"You should really stop walking around without body guards," Clary warned him. "I think selling out Jones Beach in New York warrants Raphael or Bat or both with you."

Jace leaned his elbows back on the bench. "Maybe if I ever sell out Madison Square Garden, I'll consider it."

"That may be next year, you know. Or sooner."

Jace leaned his head back and his face scrunched in. "Oh, don't say that. That just frightens me. That would be too insane." He brought his head down and looked at her. "Well, if we get surrounded, at least you can protect me."

"Yeah, you'll get some real good protectin' from me," Clary motioned to herself.

Jace laughed. "Well, I know you can throw a punch."

Clary looked disgusted. "I'm not gonna punch your fans." She thought. "Isabelle did say she had a taser though."

"You won't punch them but you'll tase them. Real nice, Clary," Jace said and she rolled her eyes. He looked around. "It's nice this time of year. I think every year, this day, we should meet here."

She shrugged then looked around. "Sure."

Jace stared at the profile of her face for a moment before he spoke. "I'm really sorry about this morning."

She laughed, shaking her head. "It's okay. They would've found out anyway, right? Us being childhood friends isn't really supposed to be a secret."

"No, I guess not," Jace said, quietly. He took a bit of her hair and let it slip through his fingers. "I missed you, Clarissa." She looked at him and they stared at each other for a moment. Jace could feel it within him. The fidgety nervousness. The feeling in the pit of his stomach that he was so used to as a kid when it came to her. It was something he wasn't used to yet. He cleared his throat then pulled her beanie down, covering her eyes.

"Thanks," She muttered.

* * *

><p>"Clary?" Jocelyn asked, as she pushed Clary's bedroom door open. Clary looked over her shoulder and smiled slightly, then went back to folding clothes. "Almost packed?"<p>

"Yeah, almost," Clary replied as Jocelyn stood before her, pressing down Clary's clothes. "Make sure you pack two warm jackets. It'll get really cold towards the end of the tour."

"Got it covered, Mom," Clary said, pointing to her two jackets, laid on her chair. "You don't have to worry. I'll take of Jonathan and I'll make sure everyone is okay."

"Oh, I know you will," Jocelyn said and Clary looked at her in surprise. She was expecting Jocelyn to list off her concerns that she had for Clary to keep in mind. "Clary, I'd like it if you also took care of yourself. I know you might weary about what is about to happen even though you're happy." Clary froze for a moment. "But I want you to know that our past doesn't have to be your future. Have fun. Maybe you and Jonny and Jace were meant to do what we did. All of the experiences and the things you learned must mean something. Maybe the children of _The Uprising_ do belong in the public eye." Jocelyn gave a laugh. "Man, that is catchy. You should tell Jordan to print that on some merch or something."

Clary laughed and reached to give Jocelyn a hug. She buried her face into Jocelyn's shoulder, breathing in her mother's familiar perfume that smelled like lavender. "Thank you," She whispered.

Jocelyn squeezed Clary tight. "Home will be here when you get back. You aren't losing anything this time, okay?" Clary nodded and Jocelyn let go. "Now, finish packing up. We're heading to the Lightwoods in an hour for the dinner." Clary turned to her suitcase and Jocelyn smiled to herself as she left Clary's room.

Clary turned around when she heard that she received a text. She saw it was from Isabelle and she opened it. Her eyes got wide. It was a picture of her and Jace, sitting on the bench, staring at each other. It was taken from across from them, probably behind a tree where they couldn't be spotted.

She sighed seeing Isabelle's words under the picture.

_I ship you two for the rest of my life._

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** I am Isabelle, Isabelle is me. I let my Clace supporting show when I write her. I hope you enjoy her just as much. And of course, Magnus's first appearance being a stylist & makeup/hair artist. What a dream for our dear Magnus.

The song mentioned that Jace was listening to is called **Runaway by My American Heart**.

Also, lacking sleep was definitely worth writing up and posting the last chapter. I loved that you loved the chapter as much as I loved writing it, lol.

If anybody reads As Lovers Go, I wanted to include that my heart hurt with every review that came in. I won't have the time to update this weekend for that story but early next week, definitely! I needed to tell you this because I don't want to make you guys wait too long. I hug every single one of you that was hurting along with me while I wrote it.

Back to Day Late Friend - **Please continue with the reviews & feedback that make me so very happy! Keep on inspiring me with what you think :)**

* * *

><p>Shout out to <strong>eileenaileen, shaniamae99, Riley207, cfire27, Ramanaddict, DeathCabForMari, xSweetSouthx, rcs17, LOVERGIRL, Mollytamale, TesaRose, Daire123, Guest, Cecyl 2014, Guest, Guest, SocialisesWithBooks, Gissbella De Salvatore, imcrazyanditscontagious, EmFinch, Guest (Cici) &amp; Islandgirl4evR! <strong>You guys fuel my writing life. You guys were literally the caffeine the day I posted this. Thank you for your review & taking the time! I'll be replying very soon for PMs.

**LOVERGIRL:** Thank you for your review! I hope you liked this one too and for always taking the time :)

**Guest: **Thank you for your review! I hope you enjoyed the chapter.

**Guest: **I very much so appreciate you keeping up with the story and leaving feedback. I hope you think the same of the new one! Thank you for your review!

**Guest: **Thank you for your review! I hope you liked the Clace action going on here too :)

**Guest: **I always love your kind words. Thank you for the review. So glad you loved it and thought that wait was worth it!

**Daire123: **I tried to PM you but it was disabled :( I hope you didn't miss this. Again, thank you for another amazing review. I'm glad you told me you loved Clary because I do want it to be seen as her holding the fort of the band. I really liked seeing that you saw in her this maturity about her past with Jace. She's definitely the responsible Mom and one who tries to keep a clear head. I'm also glad you loved this chapter the most because I really enjoyed writing it! There was a bit of what you mentioned in this chapter so I hope you liked it. Thank you always for your words of encouragement :)


	7. Think About It

**A/N**: It's been longer than usual that I haven't updated but I've been busy with work, packing then going around during vacation but I've been trying to write a little every night. Hopefully we'll get to relax on vacation soon and I'll get more writing done :) Please excuse any typos I've made in the rush haha I'll be looking back on it later on to fix those mistakes.

Okay, so there's a song part in this chapter that is just confusing no matter how many scenarios I tried to write it but I tried my best to make it as clear to visualize as possible. I don't know if I succeeded so bear with me please. I think the part in the chapter would be a waste if you didn't listen along sooo the song is:

**Three Years for Five Years by Mayday Parade. It's the acoustic version.** And I also tried to make it a little easier by doing this:

_Alec, _**Jonathan, ****_Alec and Jonathan, _**_Simon, _Isabelle and Simon, **_Simon and Jonathan_**

Okay, that's all the pre-A/N stuff, another A/N & thank you's at the bottom!

* * *

><p>"59th street, Columbus Circle."<p>

Walking a little slower than usual, Clary stared at her black Hunter boots as she and her family stepped off the subway. She was walking slow enough that Luke turned around and looked concerned.

"Clary?" Luke asked and Clary looked up, eyebrows up. They stood at the bottom of the stairs as Jocelyn and Jonathan rushed up into the open circled entryway that always fascinated Clary because it was like being at the bottom of a fish bowl. "You alright, kiddo?" Luke asked while tilting his head a little at her faraway look.

"Yeah," Clary said, with quick nods. "I'm okay."

"Okay. Because you look kind of," Luke hesitated before he said, "out of it."

"I do?"

"Yeah. I mean," Luke pointed at her sweater. "I think your sweater is inside out."

Clary looked down at her shirt, noticing the hem. "Oh, Maryse will not like that."

"I'll give you a clear route to the bathroom before she can see," Luke said, nonchalantly and Clary smiled.

"Thank you. Yeah, I'm just a little," Clary shivered a little, feeling the wind blow from outside. She looked up and could already see the lights of the city illuminating the sky instead of the stars. "Off. Got a lot on my mind."

"Of course," Luke said and smiled a little. "I believe it'll be great, Clary."

"Oh, I know. I'm just worried. Like always."

"I know but I'm hoping you also have some fun out there," Luke said and Clary looked up to see Jocelyn appear at the top of the steps, the traffic of people rushing past her. Clary pointed and Luke made a noise before leading Clary up and following her.

"We didn't even realize you two weren't there. Is everything alright?" Jocelyn asked once they were in ear shot.

"Yeah, sorry," Clary said and pointed down. "Was readjusting my boots."

"Oh," Jocelyn said, looking at Luke, who nodded. "Well, come on. We're borderline late."

Clary pursed her lips together while her and Luke made eye contact. They both knew that Jocelyn meant they weren't going to be the usual fifteen minutes early. Clary looked up at the huge silver globe that raised above the people of New York City which led her eyes to the large building with black reflective windows. Trump Tower. She squinted while they walked past the hotel wondering what floor Jace could possibly be in. She faced forward and ran a little to catch up with her family as they headed east.

Clary pulled her phone out, checking to see if she got anything. She saw nothing and rolled her eyes. After Isabelle texted her the photo, Clary texted her asking, _Where did you see that? _Then another, _Isabelle?_ Clary only let a few seconds pass before she said _Isabelle, I know you see these. Tell me where you saw them._ When nothing came in after a few minutes, she texted, _You are so annoying today, Isabella._ Clary said "ugh" out loud just thinking about Isabelle not texting her back, especially after she used the name that meant absolutely seriousness. She quickened her pace, leading the family now, while she thought about yelling at her.

* * *

><p>Jace opened his hotel door and Jordan had his arms in the air, above his head.<p>

"My PR king!" Jordan exclaimed.

Jace blinked. "What?"

"You! You are a PR king," Jordan said as Jace checked his pockets for his phone, wallet and room key.

"And why is this?" Jace asked, pulling on his leather jacket as he and Jordan made their way towards the elevator.

"Because of Z100 this morning," Jordan said, checking his phone once an email came in. "You mentioning Clary. That was PR gold."

"Well, it was a mistake," Jace said, pressing the down button for the elevator. "I shouldn't have done that."

"Well, it's a money making mistake and I think that's great," Jordan said as they stepped in. "People are enamored with you and Clary's 'best friends as kids' past. People are eating it up."

"Great?" Jace asked, raising an eyebrow. "It's still unfair to her."

"Why?" Jordan asked, then looked at him. "It's not like finding out you two are childhood best friends is such a controversial thing."

"Right," Jace said, looking up at the numbers go down. "She said that too."

"Or is it because you're in love with her and people are only seeing you two as friends?"

Jace sucked in his breath in surprise. "Jordan," He hissed.

"What? I mean, there are still people who assume you are a couple if that makes you feel any better." Jordan shrugged.

"No," Jace said as the door opened. He began to whisper. "That. What you said."

"You mean that you're in-"

"Don't," Jace said, closing his eyes, his hand out as if it was ready to slap Jordan with another word of love.

"Are you saying you aren't?"

"I'm saying I don't know so don't go assuming or putting words in my mouth or making me feel things I'm not sure of," Jace rambled and Jordan smiled a little at how he was unraveling.

"Jace. Just think about it. I have talked to you everyday for almost five years and I have never seen you like this before," Jordan said, looking amused. "Plus, I heard you did love her when you were younger so I assumed that shit doesn't just fade away."

Jace closed his eyes again. "I hate Magnus."

"That's what hairdressers do," Jordan said, simply. "But he told Maia. Maia's the one that told me."

"Oh, god." Jace groaned. "Who else knows? My father?"

"Oh, I'm sure your father knows. He's an observant man. I heard Raphael and Bat have assumed. You know, to go from grumpy, serious Jace to jubilant Jace doesn't go unnoticed."

"Let me go back to my room. I'd like to hang off the balcony until you all agree to stop gossiping and assuming things about me," Jace said, attempting to turn around.

Jordan grabbed him by the shoulders and led him back out the revolving door where Bat and Raphael were standing beside a black town car. "Stop it. You're like our child. We become very concerned with your well being."

"Well, my well being is awful right now because of all of you."

Jordan rolled his eyes. "Stop being dramatic."

"I'm English. Of course I'm dramatic."

"Do not blame your country for your love of theatrics." With that, Jordan watched as Jace muttered things under his breath getting into the car.

* * *

><p>"Isabelle Sophia Lightwood," Clary called out, walking into the hallway that had Max, Alec and Isabelle's rooms.<p>

"Oh, that's not good," Alec muttered, looking up at Isabelle while they sat in her bed.

"You," Clary said, standing at the doorway. "Why didn't you answer me?! Hm? I know you saw my texts. I saw your tweet. 'Mwahaha.' I mean, really?"

Isabelle grinned. "You two are so aesthetically pleasing to look at."

"Who?" Alec asked, looking between the two of them.

"Clary and-"

"Don't," Clary said, closing her eyes, with her hands held out. She looked like she was ready to run onto Isabelle's bed and shake her.

"It's not like Alec's not going to find out. The pictures are popping up everywhere on tumblr and you know Alec always looks up Francisco Lachowski's pictures there," Isabelle said and Alec slowly looked up to stare at her.

"Really?" Clary asked, smirking.

"Look at him," Alec said, turning to look at Clary. "Don't judge. I only look at hot model boys as much as you look at pretty girls."

"So pretty though," Clary said, walking in, throwing her purse onto the love seat.

"Exactly," Alec said, nonchalantly.

"Clary and Jace," Isabelle said quickly and covered herself as Clary jumped on the bed, sitting on Isabelle as she laughed.

"What about you two?" Alec asked, sitting up in interest.

"Nothing," Clary said, sliding off Isabelle's bed. "People took pictures of us in the park and caught us looking -"

"Lovingly into each other's eyes," Isabelle finished.

"No. Just looking," Clary muttered and sat on the love seat, covering her face.

"Damn, look at these pictures!" Simon roared, walking in.

"Lower your voice. Jonathan might hear you," Clary said, throwing a small, furry pillow at him. Simon caught it and shrugged.

"Hear what?" Jonathan asked.

Clary put her hands over her face while Alec tried to look stoic, Simon became shifty-eyed and Isabelle grinned. Like a cat, Clary jumped up when she heard the roar of greetings.

"Oop, they're here. Dinner!" Clary yelled and walked out of the room.

"What was that about?" Jonathan asked.

The three stared at each other and mumbled random words or in Simon's case, random noises and walked past him, leaving him in the room by himself.

* * *

><p>After greeting everyone and getting through introductions, Jace whispered to Jordan. "No business talk as much as possible tonight, okay?"<p>

Jordan nodded. "Of course."

"And no talk about -"

"Jace," Jordan said, pulling him to the side a little. "I just said that because that's what I've seen in you lately. You can see it in the way you've changed since she re-entered your life. Less brooding, less irritable, almost happy. It's okay if you don't realize it but I know you feel it. The way you feel about her and how it's not just a love of best friends. And I know you feel it in an area, you know, above this place." Jordan motioned towards his groin. "You know?"

Jace stared at him. "Is this your idea of proper dinner talk? Because you're wrong."

Jordan rolled his eyes. "Fine." Jordan turned around to see Clary waving and smiling at him. He held his arms out and she hugged him. "Clarissa! Hello," he said, smiling down at her. "So, have you been thinking about playing piano during a song on their set list? Come on!"

Jace glared and Jordan turned around to look at him. "I'm sorry. I can't help it."

Jordan led Clary away and Jace sighed, deeply.

* * *

><p>"I don't know," Clary said, while Jordan had an arm draped around her shoulders. "I don't know if I can handle being on stage."<p>

"But you'd be amazing," Jordan reasoned.

"That's what we say," Simon said, Isabelle and Alec behind him.

"Yeah," Jonathan said and they all looked at him. "We've been asking her everyday."

They all looked at her.

She scrunched her nose. "Are we talking about just playing piano?" They nodded. "That's it, right?"

"Sure. For now," Jordan said and Clary started to shake her head. "I mean, yes. That's it."

Clary looked at Jocelyn, who was behind the counter with Maryse and Elaine, Simon's mom and Rebecca, his sister. She was looking over her glass of wine with a smirk on her lips. She gave Clary a nod of encouragement.

"Okay," Clary whispered and it caused a whoop of excitement. Jonathan even picked her up, shaking her up and down.

"Impromptu band practice!" Jordan exclaimed and the band yelled a loud, "Okay!" Then Jonathan carried Clary over to the grand piano and plopped her down. She shot him a dirty look and rubbed her butt after being roughly put down.

Clary lifted up the cover and ran her hands over the keys, softly. Isabelle sat beside her and hugged her with one arm and Clary willingly leaned into her. Clary took a deep breath then looked over her shoulder. "Okay, which one?"

"You and Alec's song," Jonathan said, with a smile and Clary looked at Alec with concern.

He nodded.

"You're sure?" Clary asked. She remembered the night that Alec went into Isabelle's room when he heard her taking a shower and asked Clary to come play the piano for him. She agreed and sat with him, playing a couple songs and letting melodies fill the Lightwood living room. Alec was going through the grieving process of his first real relationship and their group was constantly around just waiting to help him when he needed.

Alec asked Clary that night if they could write a song and the two stayed up until the early morning writing one together, working off each other and combining stories of heartbreak and relationship troubles.

"I'm sure," Alec told her as she searched his face for any doubt then turned around as the room quieted down.

* * *

><p>After they all expressed their excitement over Clary's agreeing, Jace made his way to the kitchen to stand beside Jocelyn, who wrapped an arm around him and he put an arm around her. She leaned into him as they watched them set up around the piano. Jace looked when a little boy walked out of the hallway and jumped onto the couch to sit in-between Alec and Jonathan. He assumed that he was the youngest Lightwood sibling with his black hair and signature blue eyes that ran in their family.<p>

Jace's eyes made their way to Clary, who ran her hands across the keys before beginning. The room had gotten silent in anticipation to hearing their song.

She looked over her shoulder, giving a nod to Jonathan who sang, **I swear that you don't have to go**_. _

Then with the flick of her fingers she began to play. She gave a nod and Simon sang along with Jonathan when he sang, _**I thought I could live in your arms, and spend every moment I had with you.**_

Jace tore his eyes away from Clary when Simon began to sing on his own

_Too late, I'm sure and lonely. __Another night, __another dream wasted on you._

He smiled a little to himself as Isabelle sang along with him for the chorus.

For heaven's sake I know you're sorry   
><span>But you won't stop crying <span>

He watched as the two finished off the chorus singing

With my heart beside me   
><span>In shattered pieces that may never be replaced <span>

And if I died right now you'd never be the same. 

They reached for each other's hands, giving each other a squeeze as Clary's playing was the only thing heard in the room.

He watched as she looked over at Alec and he gave her a reassuring small smile then closed his eyes as he began.

_I thought with a month of apart _  
><em>Together would find us an opening <em>_  
><em>

Jace couldn't but notice that Alec's knuckles were turning white as he held his hands tightly together. Jonathan joined him during the chorus but Jace felt goosebumps as Clary played the piano. He knew her eyes were closed by the way she was swaying along with her playing. She always closed her eyes when she got into what she was playing. She brought her fingers down with finality three times before Jonathan sang, with Simon echoing him.

**And I will always remember you as you are right now to me **  
><span><strong>And I will always remember now<strong>

The silence was deafening for a moment as Clary took a moment before playing the higher keys.

Jace watched as Alec sang _Sleep alone tonight with no one here just by your side _over and over while Jonathan sang **How does he feel, how does he kiss How does he taste while he's on your lips I can't forget you I know you want me to want you I want to **repeatedly.

The two joined together to sing the last words

**_I can't forget you, I know you want me to want you, I want to_** and they were all met with complete silence. Clary turned to look at Jonathan, Alec and Simon, who looked shocked at themselves. She could feel Isabelle's fingers pressing into her arm but she didn't wince.

"Is it..." She started and Alec nodded.

"It was perfect," Simon reassured.

"It-"

"It was fucking perfect," Jonathan said and the three boys looked at each other. All of a sudden, they raised their arms in the air causing Jordan to do so too. "Holy shit! That was perfect!" Then they all stood up and jumped up and down in a circle together letting only Jordan in while Clary and Isabelle smiled, shaking her heads.

Jace watched as Isabelle pulled Clary into her, hugging her and suffocating her with her chest. He laughed a little but looked down once he felt Jocelyn look away. He looked down at her, craning his neck to see that she was crying.

Panicked, he almost turned out of her grasp to hug her but she held him there in order to cover her face. He leaned down and before he could say anything, she told him, "I'm just proud, Jacey."

He continued to lean down close and then wrapped his other arm around to hug her. She laughed through the rest of her tears and hugged him back, wiping away what was left.

"Are you sure you're not upset with me for taking them?" Jace asked and she looked up at him in surprise.

"Of course I'm not upset," She whispered. "Thank you for giving them this. Jordan's right. They need to be out there." Jace nodded but he still looked upset. She smiled then put her hands on both sides of his face. "You're silly, you know that?"

He nodded, his cheeks smushed together. "That's what you've always said."

She smiled. "Some things never change then, huh?"

* * *

><p>"That was," Clary stared at Isabelle's floor. "Amazing."<p>

"I know," Isabelle said, breathlessly. "I mean, we've only done that song once or twice but that-"

"That was something else," Clary said and smiled up at Isabelle.

"Not mad at me anymore?" Isabelle asked, sweetly.

"Eh," Clary said, with a shrug. "No, I guess not. Why didn't you just answer me though?"

"Because I wanted to tell you this in person," Isabelle said and Clary shifted a little on the bed. "Look, I know they were just pictures but the way you two were looking at each other didn't just look like good timing. Clary, I know you spent a little less than half your life trying to think he was a dream or didn't exist but I really need you to sit down and think about how you feel about Jace. Please, just think about it."

"But I don't-"

"I know," Isabelle said, tenderly. "But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that maybe you can't even see that you are in love with him because you might not know the difference. I know you've known that you weren't quite in love with other people and maybe you and Jace are just a special love with your friendship, I wouldn't know but I just want to make sure you think it through that maybe the love you have for him has always been _love _love."

Clary turned away. She knew deep down inside that she was wondering what their tension was now that they were older. Being physically attracted to him was a possibility but Clary pushed away the thought of love any time it threatened to enter her mind.

"Clary. Are you in love with Jace? Have you always been?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: How are your feels, my dears? Let me know how you're feeling about it all. I love the all caps, seeing what you enjoyed and just anything that made you laugh or made you eep with feels, lol.

Friendly warning! This is very much a Clace story but I'm not the type to rush their relationship even though they've known each other so long. People making them realize their feelings is fast so far but these two will definitely be thinking for another chapter or so about what they're feeling (or always have). I don't want to blindly lead you guys on, I appreciate you all way too much to play with your Clace feels _that_ much, haha.

**Thank youuu to everyone that reviewed, favorited & alerted! **I've been a little sad during this busy-ness that I wasn't able to update for you guys so I hope you enjoyed it.

**Continue on, wonderful readers! Please leave reviews & feedback and let me know what you think :)** Can't wait to read what you thought of Jordan & Isabelle's conversations to Jace & Clary.

* * *

><p>Shout out to <strong>EmFinch, rcs17, LOVERGIRL, Riley207, AmazingClace, Guest, Daire123, Guest (Cici), cfire27, infinitemaddys, shaniamae99, Ydissbooksogood, Islandgirl4evR, imcrazyanditscontagious, Ramanaddict, Fangirl crazi407, Katwood5, Guest, DeathCabForMari, fictionallfangirl and IWriteNaked<strong>!

You guys are my fanfiction everything for letting me know what you liked and taking the time to review. **Thank you! Jace and Clary hug all of you.** Hope you liked this chapter, please tell me how you felt about this one.

**LOVERGIRL:** Thank you for your review and always supporting my chapters! :)

**AmazingClace: **Yes, it's definitely something that keeps on giving and I love it! Thank you for your review!

**Guest: **Thank you for your review! I hope there was enough Clace to fulfill your needs, haha.

**Daire123:** Thank you so much for your lovely words & review! You always keep on inspiring me. Jace was definitely cute and oh no no, Isabelle isn't that much of a Clace shipper to stalk them haha. That's from a fan, who followed Clary from Starbucks :)

**Guest (Cici):** Lol! It'll be a little while before he gets to do this but I do think Jace thinks about just doing this every once in a while haha. Thank you for your review and for constant support every chapter!

**Guest:** I can't believe you like it enough to re-read the story! Thank you so much for reviewing and telling me you love it. Hugs sent to you, you're awesome.


	8. Whisper

**A/N:** This chapter is a bit more serious than the last two I've put up but I felt it was necessary to get this chapter done before they head out to tour. There was a reaction about the cliffhanger I put in the last chapter and hopefully this will show how these two feel.

I've decided that I'll probably start putting the songs used in the story up here so you guys can listen along. The ones used here are:

**Whisper (Alternate Version) - Ernie Halter**

**Better Man - James Morrison**

**Thank you, thank you for the reviews, favorites & alerts!** Not only for the story but author favs and alerts too, those are amazing to get, let me tell ya. This may be a serious type of chapter with not much dialogue at all but I hope you guys enjoy it and still are with me for this story :)

* * *

><p>Clary stared at her ceiling, laying flat on her back, her feet firmly planted on the bed with her knees up in the air. She had her right arm laid over her head, her forearm laying on her forehead. Since her talk with Isabelle, she had a knot in her stomach and she felt like someone was squeezing her heart and it was ready to burst. She closed her eyes thinking of what would stop the feeling that made her feel like her head was going to explode and made it such a struggle to get a deep breath that it made her chest hurt.<p>

She had listened to the song repeatedly the whole morning. Well, almost the whole morning. She had probably played the whole album a total of five times before she decided to just listen to his current single. She wasn't able to sleep the night before and she wasn't sure if it was completely because of thinking but also a bit of worrying about the tour in general.

Clary blinked and rolled onto her side, clutching a body pillow as the song started over. She could picture him plucking the strings in the studio, with his closed eyes and his concentration set. When Clary didn't answer Isabelle's question, Isabelle asked her to really take a listen to his CD and asked her to think about what he must have been thinking all those years knowing how he felt about her.

_How do I ask her to come back to me after I told her goodbye?_

_How do I love her so desperately and for so long I pushed her aside?_

_How do I walk back into her life when I'm the one who walked out on her?_

_How do I ask her to see me again? I told her that I wasn't sure that we could be friends._

Clary bought her thumb to her lips and bit her thumbnail as Jace sang the chorus.

_God, can you whisper in her ear? _

_Anywhere on the way to her car, for the wind blows her too far away from my heart._

_Can you whisper in her ear? _

_Anytime while she's lying on her bed. _

_Can you tell her everything that I've said? Everything that I've said._

Clary leaned back onto her bed and took in a deep breath, wincing when it hurt to do so and she exhaled slowly as she closed her eyes.

* * *

><p>Jace stared out his window, looking down at the traffic on the streets below him. The radio had been playing in his room and for the third time in two hours they played his song, the DJ saying an intro beforehand.<p>

_People have been requesting this all day long - online, calling in, walking into the studio. Just kidding. Or maybe not. But if you haven't heard of this kid yet, you are living under a rock. Hope you enjoy this one. I know you do. I know I do. Jace Herondale, everybody with his single 'Whisper'. I really hope you bought your tickets because those shows are selling out reaaal quick. You already know what number you wanna call for a chance at those tickets. Here's the golden god, everybody. At least that's what they call him. Again, just kidding. I call him that too._

The second verse of the song started and Jace's head moved slightly to look at the iPod dock that was playing Z100.

Jace was quiet all morning and had barely responded to Maia when she was telling him the schedule of that night when they would be taking the red-eye to San Diego to pick up the tour buses and drive them up to Los Angeles. He simply nodded and she turned around to look at him before leaving, looking concerned. Jace locked himself up in his room after he threw his clothes into his suitcase, not caring to be neat about it and just zipped it up, already in the clothes he would be flying in that night.

Jace turned away from the window and fell onto the bed, face first into a pillow. He wrapped his arms around it and took in a deep breath. His head had been clouded and he couldn't get himself to sleep the night before.

After they sang, Jace watched as Clary and Isabelle went into her room and by the time they came out, Clary's expression had changed. She looked faraway, like she was thinking about something the whole night. Even though they sat beside each other during dinner she barely looked him in the eyes and only had late reactions to his lame jokes and attempts to be funny or make her laugh. He gave up after a few tries and they sat in silence while everyone around them seemed to be roaring with excitement and laughter.

He didn't even ask what was wrong because after Jordan had talked with him, Jace was appreciating a little silence to give himself time to think. Every once in a while, he would glance at her and she would catch him staring. His reaction was always to look back down at his food. But it didn't stop him. His eyes kept drifting to her face to take a glance at her while the questions went through his mind.

It wasn't that Jordan _wasn't_ right. Jace knew that there was a possibility that his love for Clary had never really faded away. He had accepted it since he was young that maybe he would just love her for forever and he didn't mind. She wasn't a hard person to love and it was the most comfortable he could be with a person - even if she wasn't there in person. He became comfortable with the idea of her and he refused to attach himself to another person. Why love someone else or let another person in if you already missed your chance on 'the one'? It didn't make any sense if Jace took a moment to think about it but he also didn't care. The girls he dated never compared to Clary anyway. He wanted to connect with whichever girl he would decide to be in a relationship with but nobody did that for him so he found himself with a string of hook ups and short relationships. It was obvious to him that he didn't want anybody to stick around and it was obvious to the press that he was absolutely a guy that didn't commit.

But now, the girl he wanted was a real person in his life. She wasn't just an idea or an excuse to not be attached. It was making him and everyone around him ask some very real questions that needed answers. He knew he couldn't go on thinking Clary was just someone who set the bar of what he wanted a girlfriend to be.

She was no longer just the girl he wrote songs about. She was the one who could easily guess that these songs were about her now. She wasn't the one he could imagine a future with. She was there to be _in_ his future. And Jace wasn't sure at all how to handle it. He wasn't ready to think about the questions waiting for him let alone answer them.

* * *

><p>Clary crawled off her bed and sat on the floor, sitting Indian style in front of her stereo on the floor, beneath her window sill. She took the song off repeat and finally went to track number eight. She guessed Jace used that number because it was the age he first kissed her.<p>

It was the song she played only once on his album when she had been paying attention to Jace's lyrics. It was the one that hurt the most because she knew that this one, was without a doubt, for her. Before assuming that it was, she looked up anything she could about the song and Jace had said in an interview that he wrote when he was probably fourteen and it's about 'being a stupid little boy'.

The guitar strumming was so light in the song, Clary turned it all the way up and jumped a little when his voice echoed in her room and it was as if she could feel it.

_There was a time, I had nothing to give_

_I needed shelter, from the storm I was in_

_When it all got too heavy, you carried my weight_

_ I wanna hold you, I wanna say_

_That you, are all that I need, oh you, I give my soul to keep _

_You see me, you love me, just the way I am_

_I said for you, I am a better man_

_I said you are the reason for everything that I do_

_I'd be lost, so lost without you._

Clary raised her hands to cover her face. The tears that threatened to spill over all morning finally did as guilt coursed through her veins.

Clary knew the song was the cry of a fourteen-year-old Jace needing her there at the time of his parent's divorce. He knew that she understood the troubles of being stuck in the middle and having the floor from under him be pulled away. When she heard that Stephen and Celine were getting divorced because she had already run off to be with another man, she wanted to call. She wanted to ignore that she was still in the process of pretending he didn't hurt.

She had cried to Isabelle telling her that she wanted to call and tell him it would be okay even if his parent's wouldn't be. She wanted to tell him that she understood what he could be feeling and that she wanted to hold his hand through the process of it just as he did with her. She wanted to tell him that she wished she could go through this storm with him. But she never once tried to pick up the phone in fear that he'd have only anger to take out on her.

She could feel her anger rising up within her because she wanted to blame him for ripping them away from each other when clearly they needed one another more than ever then. She was angry at Jace for not being there during their move but she was also angry at herself because she wasn't there for him when he needed her the most as well. She wanted to blame him for missing important moments in each other's life - but she couldn't find it in herself to do so.

Finally, Clary wiped her tears away with finality while taking a shakey breath. She looked up at the opened window, the thin white curtains waving slightly because of the breeze and she looked at the covered sun finding it's way through the tall buildings.

"Okay," Clary said to herself. "You're okay. Get up and pack. And figure this shit out because you can and you are strong and you -"

"Are talking to yourself," Jonathan said and Clary jumped, with a scream. She turned around and looked frantic.

"Jon," Clary said and he could see that was trying to find an excuse as to why she was saying those things to herself and her eyes were red. "I-"

"Clary," Jon said, stepping in her room and she pursed her lips together. "Look, I know I never actually said this but," he paused. "You write a lot of songs for us and I know I've never once asked what or who they were about but I've always known and noticed your lyrics."

Clary looked down, not wanting to make eye contact.

"And I'm a little offended that you'd think I didn't notice that all of a sudden you and Jace weren't talking anymore and your eyes were always puffy when you woke up," Jon said and Clary looked up, eyes wide. "I'm not upset, I just said offended." He smiled a little but she didn't return it. "Clary," Jonathan said, a little softly. "I talked to Isabelle." Clary began to narrow her eyes. "_I_ approached _her_ after dinner. She's as much my sister as Alec is a brother to you. She, of course, told me after I asked."

"What did she say?" Clary asked, in a small voice.

"She just said that she thinks Jace may still be in love with you and that he was before." Jon saw Clary scrunch her nose a little in annoyance. "She also said that she was asking if you may have felt the same way. That's it."

"Yeah, well, she pretty much gave it all away so," Clary muttered.

"Again, I'm offended if you think I _didn't_ know Jace was in love with you. You may not have seen it because that's how Jace always was with you. I'm kind of wondering when Jace realized he felt more than just your best friend. I didn't think he had it in his soul to be that deep," Jon said and Clary looked down, resisting a smile. "But I knew. I don't know if he is right now. I can't tell and you know Isabelle's just excited so she doesn't know either but I do agree that you should think about it, Clary."

She peaked at him. "Was I in love with him?"

Jon smiled and shrugged. "I don't know, Clary. You've always been a harder read than Jace. I think you're good at even hiding that from yourself."

"How helpful," She whispered and Jon smiled, assuming that her sarcasm meant she was okay.

"You'll be able to figure it out," Jon said, turning a little to leave her room. "If you don't, it'll make Jace the deepest one out of all of us and I don't think I can handle him being every-freakin'-thing including the most aware of himself. So, please, on behalf of all of us, think about it."

* * *

><p>"Any answers for me, yet?" Isabelle said as they walked through the airport, their gate number in sight. Their arms were linked together.<p>

Clary shook her head. "No, but I think I've accepted the process of figuring it out."

"Good," Isabelle said, with a smirk.

The closer they got, the more they could see that Jace was standing at the gate with Raphael, Bat, Maia and Jordan. He turned, his duffle bag strap on his right shoulder and his phone in his left hand. He stuffed the phone in his pocket seeing Clary's eyes on him.

Isabelle winked at Clary before letting her go and Clary made her way towards Jace. He smirked at her and gave a nod. She did the same and simply stood beside him.

"Are we okay?" He whispered.

She looked up at him, making eye contact. The two searched into each other's eyes as if they were looking for an answer.

"We're okay," She responded and he gave a nod. She looked away and he watched her as she dropped her bags and walked into the open arms of Jocelyn.

Jace smiled to himself. He looked to Jordan, who was watching him obviously. He walked and leaned towards Jordan, who leaned in return as Jace whispered, "I think I can confirm that I am."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** What did ya think? :) I hope you guys can see why I had to keep the tone (mostly) far from humor in this chapter and how it was needed. But now, tour is coming up and there is almost always ridiculousness going on tour. Being together all the time for weeks? That's always a recipe for interesting.

My As Lovers Go loves, if you're reading this, I'm sorry I haven't updated. I simply _need_ the next chapter to be perfect so bear with me a little bit, please!

**Please please please** (I hope you got The Smiths song in your head after reading that) **leave me some reviews & feedback**. Let me know if you liked the chapter, what exactly you liked or if you're wondering anything. I'd love to know your thoughts on Jace & Clary's internal dialogue and a little bit more of seeing their pasts. And of course, that ending line. I love ending lines, if you haven't noticed haha.

* * *

><p>Shout out to <strong>rcs17, lindsayhonaker, Katwood5, Riley207, Arcoirizada, Guest, LOVERGIRL, Islandgirl4evR, Guest (Cici), Eva, shaniamae99, cfire27, fictionallfangirl, Daire123, <strong>**imcrazyanditscontagious and ClaceAndPeeniss4eva!**Thank you, my dears, for leaving me your thoughts. Honestly, I love your reactions and seeing what you thought. Please continue to be rays of wonderful sunshine and tell me what you think of this chapter :)

**Guest:** You are so awesome for reading this story so fast! So glad you love it. Thank you for your review!

**LOVERGIRL: **Thank you for your review! Appreciate your constant support so very much :)

**Guest (Cici): **I was wishing there was a way I could PM you but I'm hoping you feel better than the other day! I'm really glad I updated that day too and was able to give you a little pick me up. Thank you so much for your review and continued support! Always looking forward to your nice words.

**Eva:** Thank you for your review! I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter and I hope you liked this one too :)

**Daire123: **Loved you liked the chapter :) Yes, Clary definitely loves to play, I'm glad you could see that during the song scene but she does have an issue with being on the stage, after seeing her parents fame. We'll just have to see how she adapts to the tour life when it starts! Also, thanks for letting me know that you loved whenever Jordan mentioned Jace's changes. You're awesome for telling me all that you liked actually. Thank you for your amazing review!


	9. Highway to Hell

**A/N:** I had a little writer's block writing this so it is shorter than usual but it gives some calmness before the craziness of a tour. I hope you guys like it :) Another A/N & thank you's at the bottom.

* * *

><p>After the plane took off, Clary looked out of her window, into the darkness, the flashing of a red light on the wing of the plane the only thing she could see besides the night. Her eyes lids were moving slower with every blink and she could finally feel the fatigue of no sleep start to hit her. She turned forward, settling back into her seat then looked up at Jace, who was nuzzled in his neck pillow and he glanced at her from the side of his eye. She resisted to smile seeing that he was so tired that he couldn't even move his head.<p>

"Not sleeping?" He asked, groggy, his voice low and raspy.

"I am," Clary said and put her arm on the arm rest. "Just waiting for it."

"Hm." He made the noise and she couldn't help but smile.

"Go to sleep, Jace. You can barely open your eyes."

He kept his right one open while the left closed. "I'm waiting."

"Waiting for what?" Clary asked.

"For you to sleep. What if you get sad again?" He asked and Clary looked down. When the plane had taken off, Jace noticed the way Clary was chewing on the plastic that came from her water bottle.

She didn't answer at first when he asked what was wrong but when she finally calmed down and her leg stopped shaking, she told Jace in a whisper. "This is stupid but I'm already missing my mom and Luke. We've never been apart the four of us and it's stupid for someone my age to say. I'm just worried about them and us and ... everything," She said, looking down at her lap, her hands tightly held together.

"No," Jace told her. "It's not stupid. You're just lucky." Clary wasn't sure what he meant but she didn't reply and he just stared at the TV in the seat in front of him. The band and Jace's team filled first class and Clary looked around her. Simon and Isabelle were in the aisle across from them and she could see them clenching their hands together. Clary leaned back and took deep breaths in order to calm her mind from any worry. She felt like she was clinging and searching for things to worry about. She looked up at Jace and he turned to look at her. "It'll be okay. It'll all work out."

She gave a nod and Jace smirked at her then, turning away from her.

Clary stared at Jace while she watched him struggle to keep his eyes open. "I'll wake you up if I do," She told him and he opened his mouth to say something but she covered his eyes by pulling down the hood he had on. He smiled and she did in return even though he couldn't see. "Goodnight, Jace."

"Goodnight, Clary," He muttered and Clary turned away. She smiled when she could hear him breathing steadily and snoring slightly in a few minutes.

* * *

><p>Isabelle grinned when she snapped a picture. Simon shook his head with a slight smile on his face as she retreated back to her window seat, scooting past his legs. She leaned into his open arm that wrapped around her while she showed him the picture.<p>

"Aren't they precious?" Isabelle asked and Simon nodded, leaning his head back, fighting the sleep. Isabelle said they couldn't sleep until both Jace and Clary had because she wanted a picture.

"They're very cute," Simon said, and she shot him a glare.

"They're more than cute. Just look at them," She said, pointing at her phone. Simon concentrated as he stared at the picture. Clary and Jace both had their heads titled back, sleeping with their chins inclined up. They both had furrowed eyebrows as if they were dreaming of the same thing and their lips were slightly parted. Their pinkies were inches away from touching. Simon's eyebrows went up a little.

"They are really cute," Simon said, sincerely.

"See," Isabelle said in satisfaction then finally settled into her chair and Simon's arm, making herself comfortable. "Now, we can sleep." She closed her eyes and Simon laughed a little.

"Why are you so invested in these two?" Simon whispered.

"I love Clary," Isabelle stated as if it was fact. "You do too. You should be shipping them just as much."

"I know that and I do but this is different, you're _really_ invested. Whenever Clary was with anyone else, you didn't support her this much," Simon said and Isabelle opened her eyes slowly, looking up at him.

"That was different. Clary wasn't ... she didn't need help with other guys. She knew what she felt towards them and it wasn't like this."

"Why does she need help with Jace?"

"Because," Isabelle said, closing her eyes again. "This could be a second chance for them."

"Second chance for what?"

"Shh," Isabelle hushed him now. "We need to catch some sleep."

Simon didn't reply as Isabelle kept her eyes shut and he stared at her. He sighed because he wasn't understanding her motives but as usual, he supported whatever she was up to. He kissed her forehead and leaned his head against hers for a few minutes before he lifted his head, resting it back and drifting off to sleep.

* * *

><p>Jonathan stared at his opened book. Alec looked over at his best friend. Jonathan hadn't turned to the next page in almost fifteen minutes and Alec looked up at Jonathan, who was biting his nails. Alec looked down at his leg that was bouncing relentlessly since they got on the plane.<p>

"Maybe you'll feel better if you say it out loud," Alec interrupted Jonathan's thoughts.

"Say what out loud?" He asked, crossing his arms so he would stop biting his nails but his leg was still going.

"Whatever it is you're worried about," Alec said, closing his eyes, listening to the mix of the airplane and silence filling his ears. He waited patiently for Jonathan to answer, not sure if he would reply at all.

"I.." Jonathan whispered, as he started. "I'm scared about reliving the past."

Alec opened his eyes and looked to Jonathan. It was usually always Clary who spoke of her worries and concerns about their past with_ The Uprising_ and Jonathan rarely chimed in. The most Alec had heard about their past as kids was when Jonathan first moved to New York City and Alec told him that he should get it out his system so he would stop being like a ticking time bomb.

"I know we're a different group of people because we're family more than I think our parents were - except Luke and my father," Jonathan stopped himself as she turned his head to Alec in thought. "But isn't that worse? Luke and my father were friends, actual friends and look what happened to them."

Alec shook his head. "Your mom was the one who was best friends with Luke. Never forget that and look where they are now. We have been friends for a long time, Jon and we're been through a lot of shit together. One tour isn't going to change that."

"Yeah." Jon looked down. "Maybe our group will be fine but what if we become people we aren't when we left the city?"

"You aren't your father," Alec told him and Jon's head snapped up. "You aren't. And if you've got some of him in you and it starts to ruin things, I'll be there. Clary and Isabelle will be there."

Alec watched as Jon's leg slowed down to almost a stop. "Right," Jonathan replied. "You're right."

* * *

><p><em>Clary's legs dangled as she sat on Celine's lap. Celine had her arms wrapped around Clary's mid-section and although it was a comforting hold, Clary knew that Celine was holding her down - keeping her from running to the back. Clary had her arms crossed as ACDC's 'Highway To Hell' played painfully loud in the tour bus. There was nothing else that could be heard - except the faint screaming in the back that would have rocked the bus if the music didn't drown it out. That was always the meaning of the music played to the volume's capacity - someone was fighting and that night, it was Clary's parents.<em>

_Clary looked around her at the empty kitchen area. Stephen was putting Jace into his bunk because he wanted to lie down in his bed. Jonathan was with Luke on another bus that had all the instruments because Jonathan asked for a guitar lesson. Clary looked at the bus driver, who tried to look like everything was okay, but was failing because Clary could see the concern in his eyes and the crease in his forehead from worry._

_"Want water, babe?" Celine asked and Clary looked up at her._

_"Yes, please," She whispered and Celine reached over. Hyper aware of Celine's arms around her, Clary could feel when they loosened a little and she took the opportunity to pry her arms off of her and jumped off her lap. She ran towards the door as Celine called for her but Clary didn't look back as she pulled on the door knob that she was only a head taller than._

_"Stephen!" Celine yelled but it was too late. Clary slipped past Stephen, who had his head in Jace's top bunk and Clary reached for the door knob, knowing she only had a few seconds. She threw the back door open and she stared up at her parents. Both were obviously angry, their screams no longer inaudible because of music but she could hear them throw curses and blame at one another. But Clary couldn't see what had been thrown on the floor admist their fighting and rage, she couldn't see the way her parents were looking at each other like they were wishing harm upon one another - all she could see was the way Valentine was gripping onto Jocelyn's arm. Clary thought that the marks of his fingers would be etched into Jocelyn's skin for eternity from the way he held onto it, shaking her whole upper body from just her arm. Then together, in unison, they looked toward Clary before she was picked up and the door was shut before her._

_"Clarissa," Stephen said, soothingly. "Just stay here with Jace, okay?" He lifted her up and she ducked her head, crawling into Jace's bunk. Jace was already at the wall and she turned her body to face his chest as if it was an action she was most familiar with. "Don't let her come down, Jace."_

_With that, Stephen closed the door to the front of the bus and Clary could only hear ACDC playing on while she cried silently._

Clary awoke with a gasp and she tightened her grip. She looked down at her hand that was fiercely holding Jace's wrist. She looked up at him and he was already glancing down at her, a book in his free hand. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, calming her heart down. She let go of Jace's wrist and put her hands in her lap.

"You okay?" He whispered. She nodded and then looked around the plane. Some windows were open and she could see the sunlight spilling in. She turned to her window then opened it a little, wincing when it was too bright. She closed it then leaned back into her seat. "We're almost there. Starting our descent." Clary nodded again before closing her eyes and Jace took the opportunity to stare at her face for a few moments before lifting his book up to read.

* * *

><p>"I get a bottom bunk," Isabelle exclaimed, raising her hand in the air while they walked, trying to decide what the sleeping arrangements would be.<p>

"I'm with Isabelle. Top bunk," Clary stated.

"Bottom bunk," Jonathan said, quickly.

"Yeah, because you fell off the top bunk so many times you've been scarred," Clary whispered to Isabelle, who snickered.

"With Jonathan. Top bunk," Alec said, looking at Jace and Simon, who walked beside each other.

"With Jace. Baahh ... toppp?" Simon said, prolonging his words because he wasn't sure of Jace's preference.

Jace resisted to smile so he wouldn't offend his new bunk mate. "Top," Jace said, simply.

Simon exhaled in relief. "Good, I like bottom bunks."

He turned to look at Isabelle, who was staring at him with a raised eyebrow.

"What was that? Baa, tahp," She mimicked and Simon glared.

"You guys, ready?" Jordan asked, appearing at the end of their line.

"Ready for what?" Alec asked.

Jordan smirked and Jace put his head down, purposely walking in front of them a little so they wouldn't get involved just because they were at his side. Once they stepped off the escalators, Clary could spot them and flashes began.

In a rush of girls calling out for Jace and the series of paparazzi pictures being taken, the group instinctively bunched together as they were led out the door where the black vans were in the sight. Once the doors slid open, Clary could faintly hear, underneath the screams for Jace, a few girls call out the names of everyone in _The Elite Four_. She smiled to herself as she kept her gaze on the ground.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **I know there wasn't anything too heart racing in the chapter because the last few have been quite action filled (with feels) but this was feeling calm and just explanatory of the relationships. I also wanted to add a few mentions of the past. I was happy to see some reviews mentioning the excitement for tour though!

**Please keep up your awesomeness and leave some reviews & feedback!** I'd love to read what you guys think of the different friendships that were shown in this chapter. **Send me some inspiration and motivation, please :)**

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you so very much to those who reviewed, favorited &amp; alerted for this story! <strong>You guys make me grin in public whenever I see any of those emails.

Shout out to **Riley207, shaniamae99, rcs17, LOVERGIRL, Daire123, Islandgirl4evR, imcrazyanditscontagious, cfire27, Guest (Cici), Guest, Guest, Freddrax3, Mavis, Katwood5, rippingbutterflywings, IWriteNaked, SmokesGurl20, EmFinch, fictionallfangirl and LuckyAsLockhart**! Thank you for making my days with your reviews & for letting me know what you guys think of the chapters. Big thank you to those who catch up with this story so quickly, you are amazing individuals.

**LOVERGIRL:** Thank you so much for your review :) I hope you liked this chapter!

**Daire123: **Clary and Jace are definitely cute. Even though they're older in the story, I still picture them being cute kids sometimes, haha. And yes! Thank you for seeing that it would be best if they were to figure out their feelings before tour :) I felt like they would be so jumbled if they were so unsure when tour was already starting. Thank you for your review :)

**Guest (Cici):** Thank you for your, as always, lovely review! And yes, definitely love The Smiths, especially during fall & winter. They're perfect for days at work. Youu are the awesome one. And I'm glad you're feeling better!

**Guest: **So glad you really like it so far! I hope you liked the new chapter & please, keep letting me know what you think :)

**Guest: **Seeing your review was more than perfect! Thank you so much for your kind words :)

**Mavis: **Thank you for your review! I'm glad that you liked that I gave Isabelle more substance. I absolutely love her as a character and I honestly believe there's so much depth in her and she has the most caring heart, as well.


	10. Un-Thinkable

**A/N:** This chapter is mostly in Jace's POV and only a little bit Clary so I hope you like being in his mind for a little bit :)

The songs used in this chapter for whoever wants to get them ready for when they show up in the story is:

**Un-Thinkable (I'm Ready) Cover - City and Colour**

**Body Bag - Hit The Lights**

**Heels Over Head - Boys Like Girls**

As usual, the important A/N is at the bottom with thank you's & shout outs!

* * *

><p>Jace leaned his head back against the black leather couch that lined the walls of the back of the bus. He closed his eyes and strummed along to the songs that played on Clary's iPod that was plugged into the entertainment area of the bus that was for 'the talent' as Jordan put it with air quotes.<p>

After they had jumped into the black vans where the guys whooped from the exhilaration, they made a short drive to the tour buses that Isabelle and Clary ran towards in excitement. They all threw their bags down into their bunks and Jace laughed to himself when he heard Isabelle ask Clary, "Why do you like top bunks so much when you can't even get up on them?" Clary swatted her with a pillow in response.

They grouped up in the kitchen with Jordan, who stayed on the bus with them, so he could find out what they wanted to eat on their three hour drive from San Diego to Los Angeles. Jonathan yelled "In-N-Out'' immediately, stating that it was essential. Jace asked what it was and after they informed him, Simon laughed when Jace muttered that it sounded like some dirty porn title. Other than that remark, no one said anything because they couldn't find it in their hearts to fight with Jonathan since he looked so ecstatic. They all screamed their thank you's to Jordan after he handed them their bags of food then he headed to 'the team' bus as Jordan put it. With air quotes, of course.

Jace opened his eyes and looked at Clary, who was lying down on the couch across from him. She was looking out the window, her hand tracing something in the air while she sang along to music. Right after eating, Simon and Isabelle went to their bunks, Jonathan and Alec watched a movie in the front area while Clary and Jace headed back where Clary spent the first hour of the trip arranging the band's schedules in her planner. Jace strummed and picked his guitar the entire time, trying his best not to stare. But now that Clary had her mind somewhere else, he freely let his eyes fall on her until she turned to look at him every now and again.

Jace looked down at the floor to the two wooden crates that were under the big TV. Both were filled with a mix of movies, the entire season of FRIENDS, various TV shows and books.

He turned his head when he heard the familiar strumming of the _City and Colour_'s cover of Un-Thinkable (I'm Ready). He knew the song well and by the way Clary closed her eyes, and put her hands down to rest on her stomach, he knew she did too.

_Moment of honesty __  
>Someone's gotta take the lead tonight<br>Whose it gonna be?  
>I'm gonna sit right here<br>And tell you all that comes to me  
>If you have something to say<br>__You should say it right now. _

Jace smiled to himself a little as he and Clary sang the song together. He could feel a pressure in his heart from the memory of their voices together sounding so familiar but foreign to him because their voices sounded older and it had been so long, he almost forgot.

_You give me a feeling that I've never felt before _  
><em>And I deserve it, I think I deserve it. <em>  
><em>It's becoming something that's impossible to ignore <em>  
><em>And I can't take it. <em>

_I was wondering maybe __  
>could I make you my baby,<br>if we do the unthinkable would it make us look crazy?  
>If you ask me, I'm ready.<br>__If you ask me, I'm ready. _

Finally realizing the words coming out of their mouths, Jace snapped his eyes to Clary, who was tapping her fingers lightly on her stomach.

_I know you once said to me __  
>This is exactly how it should feel when it's meant to be,<br>Time is only wasting  
>so why wait for eventually?<br>If we gon' do something bout it  
><em>_We should do it right now. _

Jace swallowed as he felt his throat close up a little and his heart paced faster. He kept glancing at Clary wondering if she could hear what they were singing to each other but her face didn't change and she showed no indication that the song was effecting her as much as it did him. He cleared his throat.

_I was wondering maybe __  
>could I make you my baby,<br>if we do the unthinkable would it make us look crazy?  
>Or would it be so beautiful?<br>Either way I'm sayin'  
>If you ask me, I'm ready.<br>__If you ask me, I'm ready._

Jace knew he was singing louder than when he started but a part of him thought maybe if he sang it loud enough, Clary would understand that he wanted Clary to hear that those lyrics were coming from him. He stared down at his shoes when she didn't look over at him when his eyes were begging her to. He even stopped singing along with her during the bridge, only joining her again for the chorus – something that made her smile and he quieted down his strumming as she opened her eyes.

She sat up and grinned at him. "That was cool. We blend well together."

Jace nodded and gulped down the lump in his throat. "Mhm," He murmured. She tapped her foot against the leather couch as she sat with her legs against her chest, wrapping her arms around them to hold them up while she put her chin on her knees. "What did you dream about?" He asked and he noticed her freeze. "On the plane?"

"Um," She started. "It was more of a memory than a dream." She looked up at him and tried to smile. He didn't amuse her by smiling back because he was looking down at the floor, the flashes of the possible memories passing through his mind that would've made her grab his wrist like that.

The images of broken plates littered on the ground and bits of glass that the kids would find after the adults thought they had cleaned any remnants of fighting. The way Jonathan used to scream at his father when his parents fought behind locked doors. The way Clary would cry the whole night beside him until she fell asleep then would wake up, beginning the day as a new one, not letting memories of the night before hinder her. The way Jocelyn would hold him on nights he would scream and thrash whenever it was his parents screaming behind those doors. He winced at the memories of drunk adults, the opaque smoke of marijuana so thick you couldn't see your hand in front of you and the familiar behaviors after someone crashed from cocaine. His eyes flicked back up at Clary.

"Ah," was all he said in reply.

"Jace." Her voice was almost inaudible as she stared at the carpeted bus floor. "I'm sorry for not being there." She looked up at him, making direct eye contact. "For not being there when ..." He saw that she had trouble saying the words, fearing that it might strike sadness or anger in him. He knew that she was trying to apologize for not being there for him during his parent's divorce.

"It's okay," He replied, quietly.

She nodded, as if they both knew that that's what she needed to give him and that his response was enough for her.

"We'll catch up on all the hard times we missed. Maybe one night when we're too filled up on adrenaline and can't sleep," He said, and flashed her a grin. She smiled back but hid her face behind her knees. The two averted their eyes towards the closed door where they could hear Isabelle and Simon bickering. "It's normal," Clary told Jace and he nodded.

"They're funny."

"They are," Clary said. "Hilarious, really."

Jace gave a laugh. "Sometimes you can't even tell they're together."

"Those are the best relationships though," Clary said, matter-of-factly. "Me and Isabelle always say that being friends first are best for relationships." She gave a big nod and Jace internally cursed at his own heart for skipping a beat. "Although she likes to add that for hook ups and short term partners, the less you know, the better."

Jace laughed. He tilted his chin towards the door. "How did those two happen anyway?"

"Well." Clary sat up straight and he could tell she was more than happy to tell the story. "Simon has always been a little bit in love with Isabelle. You know, because she's gorgeous and sassy and like a queen." Jace smirked to himself at her tone of admiration. "Even when we were young, she was just this girl who knew what she wanted to be and she would always get her way and she was strong and ..." Clary's eyes drifted to the door. "I should stop, she might be sniffing out the compliments." She was silent for a moment, listening in to hear any possible giggles from Isabelle. "Anyway, so Simon always had a crush on her and she, of course, didn't see Simon like that at all until we were in high school and she just got her heart completely broken and Simon was there, always making her laugh and making her forget that a part of her felt like it was missing." Clary's expression fell for a moment and Jace wondered for a second if she was okay. "So, after we graduated, Isabelle came to her senses and stopped her heartbreaking ways against various men and set her sights on Simon, who I think, until this day, still can't believe he's with her and they've been together for four years."

"How absolutely insane for Simon," Jace remarked, looking impressed.

"Yeah. People always assume that Isabelle settled for Simon but Simon's one of those rare breeds of people - not only males - just people, with a good heart and good intentions, always. They deserve each other. They're rare and should be rare together," Clary said, then looked up at Jace in a way that he knew she was done.

"You really love and adore them, do they know that?" Jace asked.

"I think so. I'm not one for words but I'd like to think my actions show it," Clary said, with a slight shrug. Jace nodded to himself because he was the same way.

"Well," Jace said, after a few seconds of silence. "I'm almost completely positive that they love and adore you just as much."

She smiled at him then threw her head back, falling back into the couch.

* * *

><p>"Holy fucking shit," Jonathan said as they walked up the steps leading to the stage. Last one in line, Clary looked out at the red sea of seats that felt like they went on for forever.<p>

She wrapped her arms around herself, slipping her hands into her sweater not just from the cool weather but the chill that made her shiver and gave her goosebumps.

She looked at Jonathan, who stood in the center where his mic would be later that day and she smiled as he stared out into the empty arena that would soon be filled with a cheering audience.

"Greek theater!" Jonathan yelled. He raised his arms up. "Los Angeles!" He closed his eyes into the light of the sun. "We are_ MorningWood_!"

"Jonathan!" Isabelle scolded and Alec went into a fit of laughter.

Simon snickered as Isabelle gave Jonathan the same speech of not being taken seriously with that name and everything else she said the first time she vetoed it. He walked over to Clary, who stood at the edge of the stage, looking around in awe.

"This is crazy, you know," Simon told Clary and she nodded, mouth still silently open as it registered in her mind that her band babies would be rocking out at venues like this for more than a month.

"I can't even process this yet," Clary admitted. "It's crazy that it isn't my parents on this stage anymore. It's Jonathan and you and Isabelle and Alec and ... Jace." She looked to Simon. "Years later and he plays venues like this all the time." She looked back out at the chairs, trying to imagine them filled. "It's just insane."

Simon put an arm around Clary and squeezed her to his side. "I think you three were meant for this life." Clary looked up at him.

"You mean all six of us," Clary corrected.

He grinned. "Yeah. All six of us. I'm so glad I came up to you because you were sitting alone at a table, scowling." Simon looked out in front of him. "Holy shit."

* * *

><p>"Holy shit," Clary muttered to herself as the curtains opened.<p>

After rehearsal, everyone was thrown into the rush of wardrobe then hair and makeup done by the most fabulous man Clary had come in contact with in her twenty-two years of life - Magnus. Then they were escorted around by one of Jace's trusted bodyguards, Raphael to be specific, that she had a back and forth 'yes' and 'no' argument with because he tried to call her 'Miss Morgenstern' and then he said he would only settle for 'Miss Clary'. Before they knew it, they found themselves ready at the side of stage, completely jittery after the hours that flew by like minutes.

As the black curtains opened up, Clary pulled her eyes from the screaming crowd to her family, who almost dropped their instruments in shock. She grinned, holding her hands over her mouth, on the brink of giggling as she watched them compose themselves and she heard her brother's voice echo from the sound system.

She crossed her fingers as he said a few opening words then she sighed in relief. Jordan had been reminding Jonathan not to say phrases like holy shit, what the fuck, this is fucking insane, this is a fuck load of people or how the fuck is this happening right now. Basically if it had a curse word in it, he couldn't say it - even if it was British slang. Clary could feel Jordan's sigh of relief wherever he was in the venue.

Clary felt her heart go into hyper drive as the lights dimmed then colors flashed across the stage - purple, blue, green, red, yellow and orange - melting together as Simon began playing, Jonathan singing along with him.

_You're gonna need a body bag, _  
><em>I'll break bones you didn't know you had.<em>  
><em>When I'm done there will be nothing left of you <em>  
><em>for your friends to hold on to <em>  
><em>when they find you cold and blue tonight, <em>  
><em>face down in a parking lot.<em>

Clary gave a nod and as if she cued them, Alec and Isabelle simultaneously began playing. In shock at how much the crowd was singing back at them, Clary continuously peeked at the crowd to watch their reactions. Getting flashbacks of the past, Clary looked at where Jonathan stood and could see her father's presence on the stage. She remembered Luke shredding his guitar where Simon stood, Stephen grinning just like Alec was as he played bass and Isabelle looking amazing just like her mother did behind the drums.

She jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder and she looked up at Jace, who was looking past her into the crowd. He was grinning.

"Wow."

"I know," She said, then turned to look the band.

The two said nothing else as they began to sing along and rock out beside each other until Clary stood completely still hearing the song that was on the set list before she was supposed to join them. She watched as Jonathan looked over at her on the side of stage as he sang.

_I got your runaway smile in my piggy bank baby_  
><em>Gonna cash it right in for a new Mercedes<em>  
><em>You were worth the hundred thousand miles<em>  
><em>But you couldn't stay awhile<em>

Jace looked down at the girl to his left who had gone completely rigid and was as still as stone. Without hesitating, he laced his fingers within hers. He brought their hands up in between them and she looked over.

"You can do this," He told her. "You'll be awesome and the crowd will go mad and love it and you will feel this massive rush like you've taken the most illegal drug." He chuckled a little when he was able to make her smile. "I know you'll be absolutely amazing, Clary."

She gave him a curt nod as the song began to reach the second verse. He dropped their hands down and tried to loosen their hands apart. He tried his hardest to not look at her in surprise when he felt her grip his hand a little tighter, asking him, without words, not to let go.

He tried to direct his focus on Alec and Simon, who were singing the chorus into their mics while Isabelle and Jonathan were left to play their instruments.

_Now I'm heels over head,_  
><em>I'm hangin' upside-down<em>  
><em>Thinking how you left me for dead<em>  
><em>California bound<em>  
><em>And when you hit the coast<em>  
><em>I hope you think of me<em>  
><em>And how I'm stuck here with the ghost of what we used to be<em>

Jace looked over at Isabelle, who he saw Clary watching in awe as she continued to kill it. She caught Clary's quick smile and bopping her head along as they sang the chorus one more time and he could almost feel her heart stop as Simon's electric guitar faded out.

He could feel her shaking within their intertwined fingers, gripping each other like their lives depended on it as Jonathan began his introduction by saying "Before we bring out our beloved Jacey- poo. He's gonna hate me for telling you guys that nickname. We do have a few more songs for you. For this song we're going to bring out my not so baby sister and the best liked child of _The Uprising_..." Jace looked down as Jonathan continued and he watched as Clary took a deep breath and then walked out with a smile on her face and an awkward slight wave as she crossed the stage and sat at the piano, looking back at Isabelle, who got up to sit beside her, a mic in her hand.

Jace watched Clary the entire performance, his arms crossed, a permanent smile on his face as he watched her fingers slide across the keys. He watched as she sat up straight in her chair, stiff and professional then witnessed as she slowly became light and comfortable when the crowd and her loved ones sang the song in unison. By the end of the performance, Clary was being hugged in Isabelle's arms, the two of them laughing in glee as she got up and waved goodbye to the crowd.

He watched her as she looked at him then covered her face, her smile so wide that her eyes were closed behind her fingers. She dropped her hands, walking over to him. Jace stared with no shame as his heart swelled and he knew for certain that by the end of the tour, he was determined to somehow find a way to tell her just how much he loved her.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** So, Jace simply kills me when I write him because he's so filled with the feels and he tries so hard not to show it. I hope you liked this chapter and that you guys are enjoying the renewing of their friendship!

I know I always tell you guys that you're all amazing but seriously you are and just the fact that people read this story and love it as much as I love writing & planning for it blows my mind. **Please continue to leave reviews & feedback! I adore your reviews and thoughts so let me know what you think and your reactions :)**

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you to anyone who reviewed, favorited or alerted this story!<strong> I have no words or only the words I use repeatedly to express how much I appreciate whoever is reading along and reviewing this story. Sincerely, thank you.

Shout out to **Guest, rcs17, Riley207, Guest, LOVERGIRL, Katwood5, RileyLovesClace, Guest (Cici), Islandgirl4evR, shaniamae99, cfire27, Daire123, kay xxxx, imcrazyanditscontagious, tayla, chennye, Definition of Crazy, Guest and silvermice12**! You all have contributed to my motivation. You're all lovely, thank you so very much :)

**Guest: **Thank you for your review! I hope this chapter was worth the wait :)

**Guest: **So happy you loved it, thank you for your review!

**LOVERGIRL: **Very welcome for the shout out, thank youu for always reviewing!

**Guest (Cici): **Thank you for your review :) I tried to describe a little bit what was thrown around in that flashback and I hope I answered your question. I'd love to hear what your theory was though! I was also thinking that you were asking what they were fighting about but I think that'll just be explained over time and as they remember more over tour. I hope you got more of a feel of that flashback in this chapter and I hope you liked it all in all :)

**Daire123: **Jace is very sweet in the last chapter and he's the cutest. And yes, Isabelle is so adorable, you just want to hug her. She really just wants them to be happy and she's supporting them along their way. Thank you for your review! I'm so glad you love it still and continue to enjoy it.

**tayla: **Thank you for your review, hope you liked this chapter!

**chennye: **Thank you for your review! I tried my hardest to get a chapter done since I won't be able to update over the weekend and I hope you liked the Clace moments :)

**Guest: **Hope you enjoyed this chapter, thank you for your review!


	11. Dumb & Dumber

**A/N:** I want to hug all of you for your responses to the last chapter. Author's note hugs to all. Clary and Jace hug _each other_ for you all.

The song used in this chapter is:

**A Drop In The Ocean - Ron Pope**

Shout out to **DeathCabForMari** for leaving Mr. Pope's song in a review for an earlier chapter and cementing our music souls together. She is amazing and I need you all to know that.

Important A/N & thank you's at the bottom!

* * *

><p>Clary stared up at the stage as Jace had his eyes closed and listened to the crowd singing his lyrics back to him. She smiled wide and could still feel his hand in hers, the two of them holding onto each other so much that it was painful and the pain lingered afterward. She was reminded when he put his hand in hers that he was the only one in her life that she could communicate with in <em>that<em> way. Sure, she could speak telepathically with her eyes or know certain reactions between her and another like Jonathan, Isabelle, Simon or Alec but with Jace, it was as if they were in each other's minds and right now, she could feel the gratefulness he had in that arena. It was an arena, in a country other than his own, where the voices of everyone but himself were singing the words that he wrote, blending together to become one. They were singing back to him the melody that he created, the words that meant something to him and came to life in others. She watched him grin and open his eyes as he paused at the piano.

_Just a drop in the ocean  
>A change in the weather<br>I was prayin' that you and me might end up together  
>It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert<br>But im holding you closer than most, cause you are my heaven  
>You are my heaven<em>

Jace had played so many venues that he couldn't keep track. He knew the feeling of having the crowd sing his song back to him. He was familiar with the echo of hundreds of people singing a song in unison. But as he closed his eyes on that stage and it had given him a completely different feeling than before. He didn't know if it was because it was his first arena show in the states, far from his own home – far from his own country. A certain idea wandered in the back of his mind as he tried to think of reasons why this particular show and tour felt different. It was the idea that it was Clary sitting in that front row, looking up at him and watching him perform for the first time. It may have felt different because when he went on stage, it wasn't only a hug from his team and band, wishing him good luck – it was her, hugging him and telling him she knew that he would be amazing and that he was meant to do this. It may have been a combination of it all, but as the chorus came to its end as the audience awaited his next move, he could feel her presence and he knew that she was beyond proud of him.

He opened his eyes as he leaned into the mic, singing the chorus unexpectedly one more time, the audience joining in and then he smiled immediately after.

"Shit, that was beautiful," He remarked then directed his eyes to the side of the stage. "Sorry, J."

Clary looked over at Jonathan, who screamed 'YES' as if it was confirmation that he could also slip in some curse words in the future. She shook her head as she and Alec made eye contact. He looked at her if he was saying 'That's your brother' and she returned a look that stated 'That's your best friend. You chose that.' Alec's eyebrows furrowed and Clary laughed loudly that they may have spoken without needing to speak.

Clary looked up at the stage as the crowd began to chant Jace's name after he said his pre-encore speech then disappeared into the side. The lights dimmed as the crowd chanted his name and Jonathan prompted the fans around him to change it to "Jacey-poo". Eventually the fans in the front were loud enough and spreading it through word of mouth towards the back rows that the whole arena chanted Jace's nickname and he came out, looking down, chuckling.

"Jonathan." He pointed down at them. "I absolutely loathe you." He shook his head, with a smile on his face then rearranged his guitar strap.

"How are you feeling?" Isabelle said into Clary's ear, over the cheers as Jace began another song.

"Proud," Clary yelled back.

"I know, but your thoughts about you know," Isabelle continued and Clary gave her a look.

"Right now? You think you should ask right now," Clary asked, with a raised eyebrow.

Isabelle glanced at Jace then back at Clary. "Right now is perfect."

"I feel.." Clary said to herself then leaned towards Isabelle. "I feel weird."

"Weird! Weird is good. Good weird or bad weird?" Isabelle screamed.

"I don't know, just -" Clary stopped herself when she could see two fans behind them intently staring and she knew they were listening. She turned Isabelle to look forward and Isabelle shot her a dirty look until she realized what she was turned from. "I'll try to explain it later," Clary said into Isabelle's ear and she nodded.

Clary looked back up at Jace and she could feel her heart tighten. It wasn't the same way her heart hurt when she looked at him in the past - like he was a stranger she must have just dreamt a past with. It wasn't the same pain she was experiencing when she was listening to his album, remembering all the things they missed in each other's lives. It was a different feeling - this felt like her heart was getting squeezed just by knowing that they may always be in each other's lives and their families never have to utter a real goodbye. It was like her heart knew before they did that maybe they would never be apart. It was a feeling that made her hand tingle the same way it did when he comforted her with his own. It was feeling like something was missing in her soul and it came back suddenly, fitting into it's place immediately.

Clary smiled as their eyes locked and he gave her a nod, while she did one in return. Isabelle whooped beside her but Clary didn't know it was because Isabelle knew exactly what kind of weird Clary was feeling.

* * *

><p>"They are so good at the run, jump and hug," Isabelle said as she, Simon and Alec joined backstage where Jace just stepped off and Clary ran towards him, jumping into his hug as he lifted her off the ground. Right on her heels, Jonathan crushed Clary and made Jace clumsily fall back into the wall as Jon wrapped his arms around the two. "Do we look as romantic with the jump and run?" She asked Simon, who shrugged.<p>

"No," Alec said quickly and Isabelle frowned. "He's too lanky."

"You're too lanky, lanky man," Isabelle muttered and Alec rolled his eyes. Simon sighed at the two wondering if the three of them would look as cute the other three did in a trio hug.

They caught up and joined in the hug, expressing to Jace how great he did and that the whole tour would be amazing. After prying them off each other, Jordan led the group towards the buses before it could fill up with fans more so than it already was. He told them they were still on for the plans of going to an after party at his friend's club in LA. The group nodded then Clary and Isabelle began chattering about clothes as they stepped out of the venue. Jace immediately went to a few fans to talk with them and sign things, smiling when they held out their phones and they took a picture with him or of him.

Jonathan, Alec and Simon ran to girls who were yelling their names while Isabelle and Clary watched from the side until a group of fans called Isabelle and she cheerfully walked over.

Standing beside Jordan, discussing how good the show was, Clary looked up when she could hear someone calling her last name. She looked around and it was as if this familiar voice was entering her thoughts again.

"Morgenstern!" Someone yelled and Clary knew she wasn't just hearing it. She was squinting looking out at the crowd that was now surrounding the buses. She gasped a little when she saw them and then looked to Isabelle as if to clarify this was real life. Jordan asked Clary if she knew the boys and she absent-mindedly nodded. Jordan told Bat the two guy could pass through and Jordan's eyes got wide as one ran right towards Clary then picked her up into his arms and he hugged her tight. Jordan watched as Clary looked like she was in a daze then hesitantly hugged him back. The other boy ran towards Isabelle and she turned around, obviously shocked as she took a step back but the boy hugged her anyway and she let her arms hang down.

Finally gripping reality, Clary pulled his arms off her and she stepped away. He was grinning at her and she knew she was just staring at him, feeling her worlds collide and leaving her confused. He was pushed out of her vision after Jonathan ran right at him and picked him up in his arms. She could see Alec and Simon walking over as Isabelle was being hugged.

Feeling someone's eyes on her, Clary turned around and could see Jace's eyes on her as he was signing something. She could feel his gaze on her and she knew it wasn't just a look of intrigue. She gulped down the lump in her throat and turned back around to join her brother in conversation.

* * *

><p>It wasn't until he turned around and did a double take at the sight of Clary's back with someone's arms around her, firmly hugging her that he felt the heat of jealousy rise within him. He looked to Jordan, who stared mercilessly at the boy hugging Clary. Jace watched as Clary pulled his arms off her then he put her down. His eyes made their way to Isabelle, who let someone hug her and her own arms hung lifelessly to the side. The look on her face was comparable to someone who had seen a ghost. He watched Jonathan run, saw Alec look to Isabelle in concern and Simon, looking a little defeated and saddened as he kept his eyes on Isabelle.<p>

He looked back at Clary and as if she knew he was wondering who these two guys were, she turned around to look at him. He stared back at her with a hard gaze and he could see the apprehension in her eyes, then she turned around, joining the group that had come together.

* * *

><p>Clary reached her hand out to Isabelle and Isabelle quickened her pace and latched onto Clary. The two looked at Jonathan, who talked to the guys as Alec and Simon hung back with them.<p>

Jordan approached Jonathan, walking past the four and stood beside Jon with a smile.

"Jordan," Jonathan turned when he appeared. "This is Dylan and Derek. We knew them back in New York because we played shows together when we first started."

"Oh, cool!" Jordan said, enthusiastically. "Do you guys live out here?"

"Yeah, we relocated when we got an offer one night in New York years ago," Derek explained, looking at Dylan.

"That's nice," Jordan commented with a grin. Clary wanted to crack a smile because she had never seen Jordan so friendly and she figured he was being sarcastic. "Well, we have to head out now but will we be seeing you at their show tomorrow night at The Roxy?" Clary watched as Jordan flinched at his own manners of inviting them.

The two boys nodded. "Yeah, of course. You all did great," Dylan said and made eye contact with Clary, who looked down at the ground once he did. Jordan could see the disappointment in Dylan's eyes and Jordan narrowed his eyes a little.

"What are you guys doing tonight?" Derek asked and the group looked around each other, even Jordan. Jonathan looked back at Isabelle, who gave him a slight nod.

"We're um, going to this club that Jordan's friend owns," Jonathan said, quickly, with a shrug, acting as if it was no big deal so they wouldn't be interested in going.

"Nice! Is there any way we can come along?" Derek asked and even Dylan looked at him in surprise.

"Sure," Jordan said, again with his fake friendliness. The two guys said their goodbyes saying they would text them for the details then Jordan turned around to look at the group with a scowl on his face. "Who are those two groping boys? To the bus!"

* * *

><p>After they all filed in, Alec immediately started to demand from Jonathan why he was so friendly with 'Dumb &amp; Dumber' as he called them. Jonathan shrugged, yelling back that he was being friendly because they all had history with each other and even though they all didn't talk to each other anymore, they still cared about them. Alec fought that <em>some<em> people had more history with them than others. Then he turned around to look Isabelle and Clary.

"Oh, how subtle," Clary muttered then linked her arm with Isabelle as Jonathan and Alec continued to argue over something that really held no blame.

"Enough," Simon said, closing his eyes. "Let's just go and get this over with and be out of LA before they reek havoc again." With that, Simon got up and made his way to the back while Jordan looked at him in shock. He hadn't seen Simon be in any mood that was far from pleasant and by the rolling of Simon's eyes, he knew that this was a subject he didn't like hearing about.

Isabelle got up, following Simon into his bunk and Clary turned her eyes to her brothers.

"Stop arguing about this," She snapped at them. "Let's just find a way to get those two," She pointed toward the bunks, "out of trouble with Derek and act like people who have gotten passed this situation."

"But what about you and -" Alec started but Jonathan pinched his side. "I am one sassy comment away from punching you," Alec warned and Jonathan crossed his arms.

Clary huffed at both of them then left the room. Jace stopped staring at the floor then followed her as Jordan tried to grab his arm but he pulled his way out of Jordan's grip.

* * *

><p>Jace followed Clary past Simon and Isabelle whispering in his bunk and he closed the door behind him. His eyes looked at Clary, sitting on the couch, staring out the bus windows.<p>

"Who was that?" Jace asked, trying to control his tone but it sounded harsh anyway.

Clary looked over her shoulder at him and felt the fleeting of the feeling that she had in the pit of her stomach that she described as 'weird'. She no longer felt the joy leap in her heart over their parent's decision to come in contact with each other. She grasped for the pleasant feeling as she stared into the golden eyes that exposed all the anger he was in feeling inside. Clary's heart raced as her feelings turned into annoyance at the way Jace was talking at her like it was her fault and the realization that Derek and Dylan had found their way back into their lives with no warning.

"That was Dylan and Derek," Clary responded, throwing his harsh tone back at her.

"Yeah, well why was Dylan's arms around you, rubbing your back like it was a genie bottle that will grant him money?" Jace asked and Clary sat forward to face him now.

"_What?_"

"The way he was ... holding you, the way he was hugging you. It was obvious that he's _someone_ to you," Jace said, sitting across from her now.

"Yes, he was someone to me," Clary said, crossing her arms, knowing he wanted more from her. She raised an eyebrow knowing it would make him more irritable.

"Well, who was he, Clary? You just let anybody hug you like that?"

"Yes."

"Clarissa," Jace hissed and she narrowed her eyes.

"We were together, okay? We dated on and off after knowing each so long then he and his brother left with their band when me and Isabelle were seventeen. Derek's the one I told you about - the one that Isabelle loved and he broke her heart in the process. They were picked up by some indie record company based in Los Angeles and we haven't really talked to them since our friendships went to shit."

"Did you love him?" Jace asked and Clary stood up so fast, Jace almost got dizzy watching her.

"Jace!"

"Did you?" He continued and he looked at her hands, obviously itching to throw something in his face.

She rolled her eyes before she answered. "We were close enough and had so much history that yeah, I did really love him."

"Were you best friends?" Jace asked, venom in his tone now, his nose twitching slightly before he asked.

"Yes."

"Why didn't you tell me? You should have told me."

Clary turned her head to the right, giving him a dirty look as if she didn't hear him right. "Should have told you? Exactly why should I have told you? Why do I _need_ to tell you these things?"

"We're trying to catch up! Boyfriends are a part of that." Jace crossed his arms. "You should've told me if you were serious with someone. You owe me that." Clary's jaw dropped and he knew it was ridiculous to say but he didn't want to take it back.

"I _owe_ you that?" She asked, then gave a laugh of disbelief. "I don't tell you that you _owe_ me the names of every girl you've fucked."

"Well, I want you to tell me all the boys you've loved!"

Jace stood up now and Clary's locked eye contact with him didn't break. He could see her frustration. He could almost see the annoyed tears she always got when she was angry and the person she was arguing with didn't make sense. Jace knew he wasn't making any sense and that his sudden outburst of anger must have been confusing for her. If he wasn't upset, he would smiled at how they fought the same as when they were kids. He straightened up, his knowledge of knowing what he was doing was wrong not stopping him.

Clary's gaze went to the floor when he didn't back down. She shook her head and looked up at him. "Well, what? Should we sit down tonight after the party and discuss all the people we loved, who loved us and who we've hooked up with? Just create lists of names under those categories?"

Jace's head pulled back. "What the fuck? No, Clary!"

"Then I don't understand what you're asking of me right now!" She said, arms outstretched. "What are you asking me to do? Go back in time and tell you that we're gonna see him there when I had no idea they were coming tonight?"

"No," Jace said, eyebrows furrowed as he looked away from her. "I don't know," He muttered, sitting down.

"What do you want me to do, Jace?" She repeated, enunciating every word.

"I don't know!" His voice raised as he looked up at her and her expression changed into surprise. He looked down and took in a deep breath. "I don't know why I'm so upset." He exhaled slowly. "These guys were coming up to you all and I didn't know anything about them. They reminded me how much time we've missed from each other. I mean, I don't even know people you've loved and were with. How can we call each other friends if we don't know that?" He asked, looking up at her.

The shock left her face as she looked away from him, then stared off. "This isn't fair. This isn't fair of you to attack me just because you don't know something about our lives."

"I know."

"I don't ask these questions of you, Jace. Even after everything I see about you." Jace looked away from Clary's face and he knew that she was talking about the two different girls he was seen with late at night the week before.

"I know."

She looked back at him and he leaned forward, staring at the floor, resting his elbows on his knees.

Jace stared at Clary's shoes. He watched as she walked to his right then turned and sat beside him, the two sitting in silence until they reached the hotel.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Please don't be mad at me! Bringing trouble into their world is part of the plot and making the fact that they've missed so much time in each other's lives a reality. I wanted to kindly add this in because this is only the beginning of the story for a reunited Clary and Jace and I really want to focus on their friendship before anything else. They've missed eleven years so this process will be filled with feels but it will take a little longer before they can say anything about how they feel. They have plenty of time to know more about each other and figure out how they feel exactly. I have quite a bit planned for this story so bear with me, please! Just wanted to add that in there, in case anyone feels antsy but just be rest assured that this is **definitely** a Clace story. For now, it's their journey and just trust in me that I'll make these two happen for you the right way in the right time :)

Okay, with that said, **how did you guys like this chapter?** It felt like a roller coaster writing it so I hope you guys were with me. I also hope it makes more sense now why the last two chapters were explaining of friendships and had the fluff - it was the calm before the storm. There was so much going on with Clary's inner thoughts, Dumb & Dumber, the girls' history with one them, Simon's reaction and of course, Clary and Jace's little sass argument. **Please let me know what you think or are feeling, leave some reviews & feedback!**

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you thank you to anyone who left reviews or favoritedalerted this story!** It felt like there were so many new readers catching up with it since I posted chapter ten and I loved it. Readers who have been reading from the beginning, I hope you know you have my love :)

Shout out to **camilabarba718, Guest (CiCi), rcs17, Frazil-Silver, silvermice12, Guest, belgian girl x, kay xxxx, Riley207, LuckyAsLockhart, LOVERGIRL, Daire123, zoe, imcrazyanditscontagious, fanofanfic, Zippy was here, Guest, xxFallenVampirexx, ClaceAndPeeniss4eva, AKA SherlockHolmes and Arcoirizada**! Thank you so much for taking the time to review this story - your thoughts and reviews are so motivating, if only I had the words to explain just how much.

_If I don't get to PM you right after I post this chapter, I will be replying tonight, that's a promise!_

**camilabarba718: **Thank you for your review! Is it awful to say I'm glad you're feeling the feels? I definitely am and I'm glad you're with me on this. And yes, there will definitely be other pairings that will be up and coming :) I'm happy you enjoy my writing!

**Guest (CiCi):** I'm glad I was able to make things a little more clear, thank you so much for reviewing this chapter even though you were on the move! Your support is overwhelmingly appreciated, my dear.

**Frazil-Silver: **You really had me saying 'this is so niiice' out loud and in public at work. Thank you so much for your review and your extremely kind words. I can only dream to have the type of support you give me on this story for whenever I do decide to make the moves on writing a book. I would LOVE to write a book and I think growing as a writer in my stories can be the first step so you saying that is very reassuring and inspiring. Thank you, sincerely. You are lovely. Also, I'm glad you're loving the characters as much as I do.

**Guest: **Thank you for your review! I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter :)

**belgian girl x:** Thank you for keeping up with this story and for always having love for it! Thank you for your review, and you never know, I have thought of this but we shall both see if this plays out later on during tour :)

**LOVERGIRL: **I hope you like this chapter as well, thank you for your review! :)

**Daire123: **I enjoy writing Jace's POV because he really is more in tune with how he feels towards Clary and knowing that he loves her. It's like fact to him but he also knows Clary well enough that he should be a little weary to tell her because she can be a mystery to everyone her (even herself, lol). I had the feels when they held hands so I'm glad you liked it haha. Thank you for your review!

**zoe: **Thank you so much for your review! With kind words like yours, I'll be motivated to write and do it well for forever.

**Guest: **I'm so happy you loved it so far, I hope you like what's to come :) thank you for reading it and thank you for leaving a review!


	12. Stop It

**A/N: **I got so excited with the response from the last chapter, I had to write this up today and post it for you guys. I mean, this story is close to 200 reviews and that's just an absolutely surreal feeling for me. Good surreal, great surreal. You guys are amazing.

This chapter is very fast paced, scenes are short and quick. I hope it all makes sense. Other A/N & thank you's at the bottom!

* * *

><p>"What are you wearing?" Isabelle asked, holding a dress as she looked at herself in the full length closet mirror in her and Clary's hotel room. They requested to be put together for the nights in LA because Clary didn't want Isabelle alone just in case her and Simon had a big blow out at the club.<p>

"I don't care," Clary mumbled, lying down in the middle of the bed, sprawled out with her forearm over her eyes.

Isabelle snapped the dress at Clary and Clary yelped. "Get up and let's get ready. We have boys that will be there that need to feel the aching loss of our presence in their lives."

"Me and Dylan are fine even though we haven't talked in years," Clary muttered, sitting up.

"I didn't mean him," Isabelle said and winked. Clary glared at her as she went into the bathroom.

"Don't speak of him. I'm still mad at him for talking to me like he owned me or something," Clary said then shivered.

"Clarissa," Isabelle said, arranging the tight black dress she had slipped into. "We need to play 'Stay' and 'Call Me Hopeless but Not Romantic' at The Roxy tomorrow night. If Dumb & Dumber are gonna be there then we need to."

Clary kneeled on the bed, panicking. "We can't, Izzy."

"Why not?" Isabelle turned around. "Clary, I need Derek to hear it. Please."

"But," Clary was looking down as she whispered. "Dylan isn't the only one I had in mind when we wrote those. That whole other song is about…"

"I know," Isabelle said, looking at her softly. "But maybe that other person should hear that song." Clary didn't answer and began to shake her head. "Clary, please. I need this. Do this for me."

Clary took a deep breath then nodded. She looked down. "Okay. What does one wear to make boys feel aching loss?"

Isabelle grinned at her.

* * *

><p>"Look at this drum stick twirling son of a bitch," Jace muttered as he and Magnus stared at his laptop screen watching an old Youtube video of Dylan and Derek's band. Jace narrowed his eyes at Dylan behind the drums, past Derek, who was the lead singer.<p>

"Jealousy looks flattering on you, are you aware of that?" Magnus said, side eyeing him. "It's looks better on you than your usual brooding and scowls. Although you've gotten downright cute since Clary's been around."

Jace raised an eyebrow. "I'm not… jealous. I'm not."

"I'm confused. What do you think you're feeling right now? Because I can assure you it is jealousy. If it's being more possessive, which you were, we have a few things to work on, my boy."

"I'm not a boy," Jace mumbled like a petulant child.

"Really? Because about thirty minutes ago on that bus with Clary, you were acting like you were sixteen," Magnus said as he got up from the chair and leaned down to check his spikes in the mirror.

Jace groaned then leaned his head back. "Okay, fine. I was jealous and over-reacted and I fucked up."

"Good," Magnus said, turning around. "Now, why did you do it?"

"Because that guy was holding Clary like he just ... knew everything about her. That he knew her so well that he _could _hold her like that."

"And that's supposed to be you?" Magnus asked, raising an eyebrow.

"That used to be me," Jace said, letting his head down, looking at Magnus. "And the way it -"

"He, Jace. Not it."

" - was holding her, it was like you knew for some time of their lives they were only each other's." Jace took a breath and winced a little. "I never had _that_ with her."

"I suggest you keep your temper in check tonight, Jace," Magnus said, looking down at Jace with caution. "And tomorrow, I say you apologize for your behavior. Honestly, Jace. It was like you were trying to mark her and not be willing to be marked in return. When both of you have no right to mark each other at all."

Jace sighed then looked up at him. "You gonna help me be calm? Or are you going to continue being the least supportive friend in this entire universe?"

Magnus rolled his eyes at his dramatic question. "You know I root for you always." Magnus sighed. "But yes - if I'm not looking for someone."

"Who are you looking for?" Jace raised an eyebrow.

Magnus smirked. "Someone." He winked. "Now, get up. We're gonna make you so good looking that drummer boy will question his existence and Clary can't help but give you the time of the day to apologize."

* * *

><p>"So, how is Simon?" Clary asked, looking at herself in the vanity mirror. Isabelle had fixed her hair and applied minimal makeup since Clary often forgot she had it on the first place and always rubbed her eyes and face. "I didn't get to catch him after we left the bus and he went straight to the room."<p>

"He's ... upset and sad," Isabelle admitted and sighed. "I mean, I understand why he is. He told me he's scared I'm gonna go running back into Derek's arms because he was like a drug to me. He said we haven't seen each other until now so who knows if that feeling is still there."

Clary turned in her seat and rested her arms on the top of the chair, watching Isabelle apply make up in the bathroom mirror. "Are you scared that that's going to happen?"

Isabelle stopped applying mascara and looked to her left at Clary, out the door. "I'm not. I love Simon," She said, sounding secure in her answer.

"Does Simon believe that?" Clary asked.

Isabelle looked away. "He said he knows but he isn't positive that love can be enough to keep me with him if Derek is there."

Clary flinched. "Fuck," She whispered. "Poor Simon."

"I know," Isabelle said, almost silently. She twisted the tube of mascara closed. "I know you may have forgotten what you wanted to tell me during Jace's set but ... did you figure out what kind of weird you were feeling?"

Clary looked up and shrugged a little. "It's a weird I currently miss. It left so quickly when he got mad at me."

Isabelle sighed. "Timing is such a bitch." Clary watched as Isabelle's eyes found the mini fridge. "Alcohol me, please." She held out a hand.

"Aren't these crazy expensive?" Clary asked, walking over, opening the fridge that had little bottles of alcohol.

Isabelle shrugged. "Yeah but The Clave is paying. Plus, if Jordan has to pay, he'll be able to. He looks like the kinda guy who knows a guy who does counterfeit money. He can pay with that."

"Well, that's true." Clary grabbed a bunch of bottles. "Heads up," She said then threw two bottles of whiskey towards Isabelle then put the rest on the bed, taking two for herself. "Bottom's up."

* * *

><p>After everyone was called in their rooms, they filed into the hallway where all their rooms were booked. They crammed into the elevator and got into two cars. It was Clary, Isabelle, Alec, Jonathan, Simon in one car while Jace, Jordan, Magnus and Maia went into the other.<p>

Once they got out of the car and stepped onto the streets of LA, there were immediately whispers of who this entourage could be. Soon, Jace's name was screamed for as they all waited for Jordan to talk to the bouncer.

"So, there's a VIP section," Jordan said, holding a stamp as they held out their hands. "Let's all just stay in that area and if you do leave, please let me or Maia know. Magnus will be too drunk to realize. Is that clear?"

They all nodded as Magnus lazily smiled knowing this was completely true.

"Okay, come on," Jordan said as he turned around but not before they heard someone say a loud 'Hey guys!' Jordan scrunched his nose, making a face. "Damnit," He muttered then turned to his right and waved. "Dylan! Derek! Heyy," Jordan said and Clary couldn't help but laugh now at Jordan's sarcastic friendliness. "Stamps?" Jordan held out the stamps and brought them down on their hands. Jace turned away to his left to smile a little as he saw the two brothers rub their wrist from the impact.

He caught Clary laughing behind her hand and when she looked up, she made eye contact with him. He stared into her eyes with no shame and gulped. She blinked then looked away, making him do the same. The group began walking in but made their first stop into the back where Jordan introduced them to his friend and the owner of the club.

"Hey guys, this is Sebastian," Jordan said, stepping aside so they could see the black light lit room in the back, Sebastian sitting the couch, a table in front of him and two sets of ladies to his right and left.

Sebastian stood up. "Hey!" He greeted then shook everyone hands. Clary smiled at Sebastian as he shook her hand and she could smell the aroma of weed as he got close to her.

"A hit before you head out there?" Sebastian asked, holding out a joint that he picked up from his table of drugs.

The group looked at each other then shrugged. It started with Clary at one end, who took the first hit as Jace and Jonathan watched her intently. She handed it to Isabelle, who then it was passed to Simon, Dylan, Derek, Alec, Jace, Jordan, Maia, Magnus and then Jonathan at the end. Jace watched Jonathan carefully as he took the longest drag then handed it to Sebastian.

"Have fun, alright?" Sebastian said, then pointed to a woman. "That's the manager, Aline. She'll lead you to the bar so the bartenders will know all your drinks are on me. I'll be out there soon," He said, with a wink and the group awkwardly said their good-byes.

"Thanks, Seb," Jordan said, coughing a little and Maia was patting his back. He mumbled a thank you to her.

"Hey," Sebastian said, holding onto Jonathan's arm. "You smoked that like you've gone without it for a while."

Jonathan furrowed his eyebrows a little.

"Take this. It's on me," Sebastian said, slipping a bag full of joints to Jonathan.

"Oh, I can't take this," Jonathan said, trying to hand it back.

"You can pay for whatever you want next," Sebastian said, putting a hand on Jonathan's shoulder then squeezing. "You are about to blow up. Don't you know that?"

* * *

><p>After they left the back room, Clary and Isabelle smirked to each other as they moved a little to the music. Werkin' Girls by Angel Haze was playing and the crowd moved along with the music that was blaring from the speakers. The two girls looked out at the club below them as they roamed the upper level VIP area. After the group separated, Clary walked to the bar and leaned her elbows on the bar giving the bartender her order.<p>

"Jameson and ginger ale," She said, with a smile and the woman smiled back.

"I'll get the same." The woman nodded as Clary turned to her left to see Dylan standing there. He smiled, close mouthed then shrugged. "You always picked better drinks than me."

She looked down then back at him. "You look grown up now. I thought you'd always look like a child."

"Same to you," Dylan said and Clary shifted when he looked at her outfit. She wore black booties with a skin tight dress Isabelle brought on tour just for her. It was lace on the sides and Clary was glad that the usual blue club lights that illuminated the whole place didn't let anybody see too much.

"Thank you," The two in unison as they got their drinks.

Dylan stirred the straw in his, leaning his elbows against the bar and leaning down. He looked up at her with a smile. "So, how you been?"

"You know, graduating from Columbia then helping the band out," Clary said, following his stance against the bar counter. She stirred her drink as well. "On tour with Jace Herondale, you know how it is." Dylan laughed and she smiled a little. "How have you been?"

"Good," Dylan said, with a nod. "You already know we broke up as a band but we'd already settled out here in LA so we just stayed."

Clary nodded. "Yeah, I figured."

Dylan bit his bottom lip, nervously. "Are we-"

"We're okay," Clary said, looking at him. "We didn't leave on bad terms."

"You mean we left on _your_ terms," Dylan corrected.

She looked at him, staring at his face. "We wouldn't have made it through that. We were seventeen and love wouldn't have been enough."

"Maybe mine would have been." Clary looked away from him. "Look, I know. I'm just saying," Dylan said, looking away from her, drinking some of his drink. "But still, it was on your terms."

She chuckled. "Yeah, well, I guess that's true then."

"I'm really glad you're all doing well," Dylan said and she looked at him from the side.

"You too. Derek's good?" Clary asked, looking around as an instinct to search for Isabelle's face. She spotted her with Simon and she looked back at Dylan.

"Derek is Derek," Dylan said, shrugging. "He's still an asshole that I have to get out of trouble but it's been less as years pass."

Clary nodded. "He sucks."

"I know," Dylan said, with a grin. "So," Dylan sipped his drink. "Jace Herondale, huh?" Clary nodded. "How did you let him back into your life?" She looked at him, knowing that he was wondering how she could be on good terms with him. "I think _he_ sucks."

* * *

><p>"Jace," Jordan said, with a warning tone as he held Jace's arm. Maia and Jordan stood beside Jace as he kept his eyes on Clary and Dylan while they talked.<p>

"I'm just going to Simon," Jace said, looking at Jordan. "Promise. I'm going right there," Jace said, pointing at Simon, who was standing there with Alec and Isabelle.

Jordan narrowed his eyes. "Fine."

Jace smiled sweetly at Jordan then slipped away. Jordan watched as Jace walked right for Simon and Alec left their group presumably to find Jonathan. Jordan looked down at Maia and snaked an arm around her waist. He grinned.

"Nope," Maia said, sliding his arm off of her. "Not here. Jace and Magnus are not quite drunk enough yet to not see."

Jordan laughed and gave her hand a squeeze.

* * *

><p>"Oh, sorry," Alec said as he crashed right into someone. He looked up and his eyebrows went up. "Oh, sorry Magnus. Didn't see you there."<p>

"Oh, it's alright," Magnus said and slipped past Alec. Alec looked down and knew his face must have been tomato red.

"What happened to you?" Jonathan asked, making Alec look up. "You get groped by a good looking guy? A girl?"

Alec rolled his eyes. "No. Come on. Where have you been?"

"Nowhere," Jonathan mumbled, following Alec as they made their way back.

* * *

><p>"Simon," Jace reached for Simon and he turned to face him.<p>

"What's up, Jace? Are you okay?"

"This Dylan bloke. Is he alright? Is he -"

"He's okay," Simon said and Jace nodded. "He's not trouble. He's not ..." Simon turned around to see that Isabelle was not at his side and the full Long Island she had in her hand was completely empty, the ice not even getting a chance to melt yet. "He's not Derek." Simon looked around the crowd as Jace watched Clary flee from Dylan in a hurry and he took the moment to walk over to him.

* * *

><p>"Isabelle!" Clary yelled, elbowing her way to get to her best friend, who was very obviously screaming in Derek's face. Finally reaching her, Clary tried to pull Isabelle away but she pulled her arm back.<p>

"No, Clary. This douchebag should know what he's done," Isabelle said, looking at Derek, who looked somewhat amused.

Clary glared at Derek then let go of her arm. "Go ahead, Izzy. Let it out."

* * *

><p>"Hey," Jace said and Dylan glanced at him, almost spitting out his drink.<p>

"Hi," Dylan said, coughing a little. "I wasn't expecting _you_ at all." He took a moment then looked at Jace. "What have I done for you to grace me with your presence?"

Jace looked around, confused. "What?"

"What have I done to get the great Jace Herondale to talk to me?" Dylan turned forward, asking for another drink.

Jace's eyebrows furrowed. "I'm sorry. Do you not like me?"

"Oh, how could I _not_ like you?"

"I'm growing tired of your sarcasm through never ending questions," Jace said simply and Dylan rolled his eyes.

"Yes, I do not like you," He said, facing Jace now. The two were the same height. Jace with his golden blonde hair and Dylan with his chestnut brown hair.

"Am I supposed to ask why then beg an answer from you?"

Dylan shrugged. "I think you're a jerk."

Jace looked down. "Are we talking about Clary?"

"Yes. And you were completely a jerk to my best friend."

Dylan smirked when he saw Jace tense up and narrow his eyes.

"You aren't her best friend." Jace knew how silly it sounded and he scrunched his nose a little at it.

"Yeah, well, neither are you." Dylan chugged his drink. He cleared his throat, putting his drink away. "Does that sting a little bit? Knowing that you were far from her beloved best friend for a while?" Jace looked away and Dylan laughed heartily. "Man, you don't even know the shit you put her through. You made her into this completely fucked up person who was too afraid to trust."

"She trusted you, didn't she?"

"Yeah, after a year of being with her every day when we were thirteen. Then finally after being good friends with her, we dated and she still couldn't find it in her heart to love me as much as I loved her," Dylan said, shaking his head as he looked down. "You did that."

Jace stared at him and he could feel the anger setting his body on fire.

Dylan looked straight into his eyes. "You completely ruined her ability to trust. You fucked up her emotions and how she reacted to people and the world. She was a fucking mess for years because of you. Now, she's let you back in and I think you'll fuck it up all over again."

Jace swallowed as his locked jaw twitched.

* * *

><p>"I fucking hate you," Isabelle seethed and Clary's eyes got wide as she watched her, standing in between them, drinking her drink through the straw. "You left me to fucking rot in whatever you left behind. You couldn't even leave me with a proper goodbye then you couldn't even talk to me long enough to figure that shit out. I let you into my life, completely and you just fucked it all up and ruined me."<p>

Derek sighed and was rewarded with a smack upside his head.

"Listen up, you douchebag," Clary told him, glaring holes into his skull.

"My greatest achievement is forgetting about you and I'm one well achieved mother fucker," Isabelle said and Clary grinned at her. "Now I'm finally happy without depending on someone else and I have a wonderful boyfriend."

Derek raised an eyebrow. "You love Simon?"

"I adore Simon," Isabelle said, returning the eyebrow raise.

"Who taught you about love? Me or Simon?"

"Obviously Simon. He taught me what love was and how to be a good person. All you taught me was suffering and how to be evil," Isabelle said, crossing her arms, a drink still in her hands.

Clary's jaw dropped then she sipped her drink. "Well, shit."

"Well, who taught you how to fu-" Clary looked to Derek as Isabelle raised her glass to throw her drink in his face.

Clary turned around quickly when she heard the screams of girls running out of the way and the rush of people going in her direction. Feeling her heart drop to her stomach, she ran towards the fight as Derek followed but not before Isabelle could throw her drink in his face then called out for Clary.

"Clarissa!" Isabelle yelled, pushing through the traffic that was going towards them.

* * *

><p>"Why is your face so red?" Simon asked, looking at Alec, who blushed even more. Jonathan laughed then Simon watched as his face went serious as he looked over the crowd.<p>

"Clary!" Jonathan screamed as he saw Clary running towards the area of a fight.

"Isabelle!" Alec yelled seeing his sister in tow of Clary.

Simon followed where Clary and Isabelle were running and gasped. "Jace!" When he yelled that, the group of boys ran towards the scuffle as Jordan, Maia and Magnus were on their heels.

* * *

><p>Clary pushed herself to run faster and shoved people out of her way as she finally spotted what her heart was afraid of. She winced as she watched Jace and Dylan delivers blows to each other, holding onto each other's shirts while bartenders had climbed over the bar to separate them.<p>

Reaching them, she pushed them both, ignoring that she may be what they punched next seeing that they both had crazy eyes and scowls on their faces. Isabelle reached Clary but Clary pulled herself from Isabelle's grip.

Isabelle looked to Alec and Jonathan, who were screaming their names while Simon caught sight of Derek. Isabelle watched as he took a quick glance at her then she saw Simon's fist in the air and it connected with Derek's face. She gasped and yelled, "Simon!"

Confused at what just happened, Jonathan pushed Simon behind him while he pushed Derek away from reaching the boy in the glasses who roared with accomplished laughter.

Clary looked at Jace, who had a busted lip that was red from the blood and Dylan, who's left cheek bone was as red as his shirt. She reached for Jace's shirt and pulled so hard that she swore his sleeve ripped.

"What are you doing?" She screamed. "Stop it! Both of you!"

As if her voice brought them back to reality, Jace let go of Dylan and looked to his left at her.

"You should've heard what he was saying, Clary! He-"

"What are you! A child?! It doesn't matter what you say to each other, you don't do this," She said, looking at both of them.

"But -" Dylan started.

"Enough," Clary said, with finality. The bartenders went back over the bar as Jordan held onto Jace and Maia examined his face. Magnus stood back with Simon, Alec and Jonathan. Isabelle pushed past an angry Derek, who decided to just walk away after he couldn't get to Simon and left.

Clary looked between Jace and Dylan as they stared at her, breathing hard.

"Fuck this," Dylan said, throwing his arms in the air. "You know I'm right. That's why you hit me," He said to Jace before walking away through the crowd as Jordan tightened his grip on Jace.

Clary looked at Jace, her gaze hard. "You hit him first?"

"He-"

Clary shook her head. "No. You're being fucking crazy." With that, she walked away, going after Dylan.

"Clarissa!" Jace yelled and pulled away from Jordan, running after her to the entrance of the club. "Clary, you're going after him? You can't. He -"

"Stop it," Clary said loud enough, over the music that Jace could hear in her tone that she was pleading. "Please stop acting like you own a piece of me. You don't, Jace. You don't just come back for a month and a half and have a say in my life." She looked down, shaking her head. "Please, just stop."

Jace watched as she looked at him with disappointment then turned around, leaving him behind while he could only hear the sound of his own breathing.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Okay, I'm not quite sure what to say after this insane chapter soo **please, please leave me your reactions in reviews and feedback! **Everything you liked, we're WTF about or anything, I'd love to read it so please, let me know :)

As a side note, all hail Isabelle Lightwood.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you to everyone who reviewed, favorited and alerted!<strong> You motivate me so very much.

Shout out to **Ydissbooksogood, Riley207, TesaRose, firequeen8569, Guest (CiCi), Emily1515, lindsayhonaker, imcrazyanditscontagious, 5sos team Calum, jroxraytech, cfire27, belgian girl x, fanofanfic, shaniamae99, LOVERGIRL, Arcoirizada, camilabarba718, xxFallenVampirexx, DeathCabForMari, AKA SherlockHolmes, FangirlHypeXx, Zippy was here and Definition of Crazy**! Thank you for your constant support in your reviews & PM's :) I really hope you guys enjoyed this crazy ass chapter and I can not wait to see what you guys think.

**Guest (CiCi): **Yes :( sadly they were fighting and I don't think I made that any better but I'm so happy you trust me enough with what's going to happen. Thank you so much for your review!

**belgian girl x: **Thank you for your review! It's really getting exciting and crazy during and after this chapter so I hope you liked it :)

**LOVERGIRL: **Thank you so much for your review :) I hope you liked this chapter!


	13. Complete

**A/N:** I know I basically made this fic's world implode in the last chapter so I'll just say the usual - the important A/N is at the bottom along with thank you's!

* * *

><p>"Jace," Jordan said, catching up to him. He grabbed his arm as Jace took a step forward. He turned and Jordan could see the mix of hopelessness and remaining anger in Jace's eyes. "I can't let you go out there."<p>

Surprise wiped Jace's face. "Are you serious, J? I have to. I might lose Clary. If she thinks I don't care enough to go after her or I don't get to explain, she'll -"

"Look, I know," Jordan said, leaning towards Jace. "But I can't let you go out there. I'm your friend, fuck, I consider you one of my own best friends but as your manager, I can't let you do this."

"Jordan-"

"Jace. I heard those people calling your name earlier, they'll see you all bloody and chasing after Clary, yelling and upset at each other - it's going to look really bad. Especially after reports get out that you got into a fight at the bar. I can't let you go, I'm sorry." Jordan shook his head and kept his grip strong on Jace's arm.

Jace looked out the door and stared at it, hoping that maybe Clary would decide to come back. He looked back at Jordan, who stared at the floor sadly since he knew what Jace was doing.

"Alright," Jace said, calmly.

"Come on. Let's get you cleaned up," Jordan said and Jace gave a small nod as he followed Jordan back into the lights and music.

* * *

><p>Dylan looked over at Clary, her hands stuffed in his jacket pockets that he lent her once she appeared beside him after he fled from the club. He didn't say a word but just stared at her in surprise as they walked in silence with no destination. He watched her face and her glance was completely set on the ground before her as they trudged through the streets of LA. He could tell in her eyes that a million things must have been going through her mind because she barely blinked and her gaze was unmoving.<p>

"Why did you follow me?" He asked, quietly and she snapped out of her daze.

She looked at him but didn't answer at first. "I'm not sure," She said, honestly. "I just, I feel so much around Jace and then that he's the one who started a fight with you..." Dylan immediately looked away in guilt. "I'm not sure," She repeated. "I needed to think. I thought I'd rather do that on a walk with you."

"Do you feel pain around him?" Dylan asked, watching her expression.

She shook her head. "No. The opposite."

"What?" It slipped out from his mouth so quickly as he felt his stomach churn.

She looked at him after his response. "It's not pain. I feel the pain when I'm _not_ with him. Lately, it's just the pain of what we weren't there for. We should have supported each other through those times that hurt, you know?" She looked away from him. "I very rarely feel the pain of detaching from him. I woke up one day and it felt like that pain had disappeared and I felt like I could finally breathe again."

Dylan felt dizzy. He only knew a Clary that was damaged from Jace and with what she was telling him, he felt himself realizing the time that had come between them. "So why do you need to get away from him?"

Clary looked at him, hesitantly. "I feel ... complete around him. Like something that's been missing from me has finally come back and just like that, I feel whole. Despite of time or what's happened or how I've tried to detach myself from him - he's come back into my life and he just fits." Clary shrugged a little. "It's infuriating because it's unfair of him to just go back right into his place and make my soul fuller than before. And it's just scary." She looked at him and he was staring at her, with a pained look on his face. "Dylan..."

"No, I'm okay," He said, shaking the look off his face. "It's just - wow, I've missed a lot on this whole Jace thing."

Clary nodded. "Yeah. I mean, I don't even know why I'm telling you this. I can't even vocalize these thoughts to Isabelle."

"Clary, uh," Dylan said, keeping his gaze down. "Jace didn't start that fight really. I mean, he might've thrown the first punch but I initiated it."

Clary looked at him with furrowed eyebrows. "What do you mean? What _did_ you say to him?"

"Well, I basically told him that he left you fucked up in life and that you couldn't function as a normal person because of him and that he ruined your ability to trust and just messed up your emotions. I mean, that was the jist of it. It's not like I was lying. It was truth at the time. Although, I might have told him that now he's back in your life, I think he's going to do it again," Dylan finished his fast talking ramble to see that Clary wasn't beside him. He looked back and she was a couple steps behind him with her hands at her sides in fists. Her eye contact made him shiver and he felt himself go completely still in fear. "Clary? Clarissa?" She continued to death glare him. "I'm sorry."

With that she screamed "Ugh!" then flung herself at him in a fury of slaps and punches against his chest and body as he tried to squirm away and yelped from the pain.

* * *

><p>"That was really sweet of you to call out 'Jace'," Jonathan said as they found a table to sit at. He was looking at Simon and raising his eyebrows.<p>

Simon rolled his eyes.

"Leave him alone, he punched someone today," Alec said then gave Simon a reassuring pat on his shoulder.

"Yeah then he laughed like Dexter the mad scientist," Jonathan replied then copied Simon's maniacal laugh while Alec, Simon and Isabelle laughed. "But it was still pretty badass. Good job, Lewis."

Simon grinned and Isabelle leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek.

"Wait, so please tell me why you were so red before that whole fight? You came over looking as red as Jace's bloody lip," Simon said and Alec got red just at the comment.

"Who groped you? Seriously," Jonathan said and Isabelle made a face.

"Ew," She let out.

"One only gets that red if they've been touched," Jonathan said and Simon scrunched his nose at the word 'touched'.

"I bumped into Magnus," Alec said so quietly they had to lean in.

"And? I don't get it." Jonathan asked, raising an eyebrow. "Did you feel a bulge or something?"

"Okay, enough," Isabelle said, putting a hand out to push Jonathan's face away.

"Wait, do you have a little crush on Magnus?" Simon asked then Jonathan and Isabelle looked at Alec, who reddened even brighter. "You do!"

"Ooo Alec, he's cute," Isabelle said, then sat back in the seat.

"Just a moment ago I wasn't allowed to talk about him but now you're allowed to gush?" Jonathan asked, looking over Alec at Isabelle.

"Well, I wasn't saying his bulge was cute," She said, crossing her arms.

Jonathan looked at Alec. "Was it? Was his bulge cute?"

"There was NO feeling of a bulge!" Alec basically screamed and they all backed away from him.

* * *

><p>"I can not believe this," Clary said, putting her face in her hands as they sat on the edge of the sidewalk now. "You are such a jerk." She looked up to glare at Dylan, who flinched in fear that she would hit him again. "I mean honestly, we must've been walking for twenty minutes and you said nothing about this actually being something you egged on. Ugh, you suck. Just like your brother."<p>

Dylan looked down. "I don't think I've ever been compared to my brother. It's not a nice feeling."

"_You're_ not a nice feeling."

"What?"

"Don't talk back. I'm so close to flicking your fucked up eye," She said, pointing then putting her head down.

Dylan's shoulders fell. "He must love you. The way his face contorted when I said he wasn't your best friend." Clary shot him a dirty look. "I kinda feel bad now. I kinda wish I didn't tell him off."

Clary sat up. "Really?"

"No. I still have hate for him."

She rolled her eyes.

"Look, I was just trying to get him to understand what he had done. I wasn't aware he was an angry person," Dylan said and Clary looked at him.

"Don't you ever crack a magazine open? Look at the internet? What about_ look_ at a magazine cover?" Clary looked forward. "He's in the press for girls or fights. All he does is fight. After most of his dates, he gets into fights."

Dylan looked around. "Yeah well, I know that now."

"He told me that, you know," Clary started. "The love thing." Dylan's eyebrows went up. "I mean, he doesn't now, not anymore. He just told me that was why he turned me away like that - because he was in love with me and thought we would end up together and ... that kind of stuff."

"Really?" Dylan asked, quietly.

"Yeah and I told him what I had gone through. Not in specific detail, but I did," Clary said, holding her hands together now.

"Well. Now I definitely see why he hit me," Dylan said, lightly touching his cheekbone and wincing at the pain. He looked over at Clary, who was staring past the traffic of cars and kept her eyes at the club across the street where people were waiting in line. "Um. So did you?" She looked at him. "Did you love him back?"

She shook her head a little. "Isabelle asked me to think about it - to really just think if all this time I've loved him or I loved him then and I'm just having so much trouble because how I feel about Jace is just how I've always felt about him, you know?" She looked at him and Dylan gave a little nod as he watched her. "It's like if I've always felt this comfortable and complete with him, how do I differientate that from the love I have for him from the question of am I _in love_ with him?"

Dylan looked down and he felt a piece of him deteriate. It may have been the hope that maybe him and Clary would end up together one day or the realization that maybe this is why she never could be completely in love with him back.

"Clary, _we_ loved each other," Dylan said, slowly. "A lot. So fucking much." He peaked at her and she was looking down. "But I don't think I ever made you feel complete." She looked at him in shock and he sucked in a breath. "Maybe him altering your view of people and the world wasn't the reason why you didn't love me back as much as I did you." His eyes softened as a deep sadness flashed in hers. "Maybe it was because that part of you of being in love with someone was already filled and you didn't even know it. Nobody was able to compare." Dylan watched as her eyes began to fill with pain, just like it did when they were younger and he commented on the fact that she loved him less but it didn't matter to him because that meant she loved him back in some way. "It just sounds like everything you've felt for me was always less versions of what you feel for Jace." She turned her face away from him as her eyes teared up. "And we both know that you loved me more than any other bastards you've been with." She let out a laugh and he smiled to himself.

A few minutes passed between them as Dylan turned away when Clary let a few tears fall. She finally looked over, wiping away the remnants of tears. "You know how much I loved you, right?"

Dylan nodded and reached out to hold the side of her face. "I know. But it just wasn't enough of being_ in_ love with me and I always knew that." She leaned into his touch as she closed her eyes.

* * *

><p>"Hey, you guys ready to go?" Jordan asked, standing in front of the group's table.<p>

"We're leaving already?" Isabelle asked.

Jace appeared beside Jordan with Maia and Magnus at his side. "Yeah, pretty positive Clary isn't coming back so," He said then walked towards the exit as Isabelle's eyes followed him, with a hard gaze.

After the group left and got into their separate cars, Isabelle stayed silent the entire ride. She told Simon she would find him later as they arrived and she went straight to her room to change. After getting into more comfortable clothes, she left her room and went a couple doors down and knocked.

Slowly it opened and Jace was on the other side, looking concerned. "Isabelle? Is everything alright? Is Clary okay?"

Isabelle nodded then asked, "Is it okay to step in for a moment? I wanted to talk to you."

Jace stepped aside and she walked in.

"What's going on?" Jace asked, slowly letting the door close.

Isabelle sat on a chair as Jace sat on the edge of his bed. "Look, I heard the anger in your voice when you said Clary wasn't coming back and I needed to say something to you. I know you barely know me and I feel like I don't have the right to say anything like this to you but do not be mad at her," Isabelle's voice was so stern that Jace's eyes widened.

"I'm not mad at her, Isabelle," Jace said then shifted on the bed. "I think I'm just mad."

"And I can understand why you are," Isabelle told him. "I can see why you're jealous. Dylan represents this time of Clary's life that you have no idea about and I know when those two are together it is obvious that there is a strong love between them. It's always been like that. Whether they were just friends or going out, they care about each other and that shows. I can see why seeing them would make you jealous. I know that at one point that person was you and you probably felt like Dylan had taken your place. He did, to be honest."

Jace looked down as Isabelle's words kept ringing true.

"But please, just don't hold anything against her or be mad at her," Isabelle repeated. "If she's scared to completely let you into every crevice of her life, I think you've given her enough reason to. I know you had your reasons, I _know_ that. But that doesn't change what she - what we had gone through those first few months that you two stopped talking." Isabelle looked down and shook her head as if she was trying to shake off a memory. "It was extremely difficult to just go day by day with Clary and I need _you_ to be the one that understands now because you weren't there for those nights."

Jace felt a lump in his throat. "Isabelle," He whispered. "Just how bad was it?"

"You know those nights when you would be the one to hold her to sleep?" Isabelle asked and he nodded. "At least _you_ were there to hold her. At least you were present in her life and just the knowledge that you being there or a phone call away was enough to keep Clary from crossing that line to completely devastated. You were her rock." Isabelle looked at him and Jace could see in her eyes a glimpse of what they endured. "But then you were gone. So suddenly." Isabelle looked away. "It was bad. And it was bad for a while."

Jace looked down and gripped the edge of his bed.

"A lot has changed, Jace. You can't be mad at every realization that you've missed a huge part of each other's lives." Isabelle inclined her head and he looked at her. "But the changes are only around you guys. I can feel that you guys are the same - the way you interact, the way you're comfortable around each other and love and care for one another. That hasn't changed. I'm sure of it. Clary doesn't need to tell me with words and I can see it on your face."

Jace bit his bottom lip as he tried not to smile. Isabelle laughed lightly then stood up.

"Okay, that's all I had to say," She said, walking towards the door. "Also, take this as a warning that if you continue to be mad at her, I will come after you." She opened the door and Jace chuckled, nodding.

"Yeah, I don't doubt that," He said and Isabelle smiled. "Thank you, Isabelle."

"No problem. I ship you two," Isabelle said, simply then let the door close behind her.

Jace looked around the room, in confusion. "Ship us?" He asked into the empty hotel room.

* * *

><p>Clary stared out the window of Dylan's car, the windows down and her hand flying in the wind. The two hailed a cab to Dylan's apartment and he drove her straight to the hotel. She had her head leaned back and she watched the endless buildings of LA pass by then sat up a little as Dylan turned right into the hotel, putting his car in park in front of the lobby door to drop her off.<p>

She looked over at him and he gave her a small smile.

"Tonight has been eventful," He said and she didn't smile back. "Look, I didn't get to tell you how amazing you were on stage tonight. All of you. I'm really glad you are playing with them."

Clary looked down. "Thank you. It felt ..."

"Insane, huh?" He asked and she nodded. He grinned. "Yeah. It's crazy up there when you hear people singing along and moving to music that you're creating."

She looked at his face. "I've missed you, you know."

"And I've missed you," Dylan returned. "Hey. Maybe I'll make it out to the last New York show. I'll visit my parents and see the last hurrah."

Clary smiled now. "Yeah. Let me know if you do." She reached for the car door.

"Clary," Dylan called out, putting his hand on hers and she turned to face him. "Are you gonna - you know, tell Jace how you feel?"

Clary took a deep breath and exhaled through her nose. "Uh. I think I still need to figure that out for myself." Dylan nodded. "But you've given very good insight."

Dylan winked ungracefully. "What I'm here for." She laughed. "If you ask me, I think you are but go ahead, see it on your own. I think you're almost there."

"Yeah, it's clearing up. I think working more on our friendship will really spell it out for me."

He let go of her hand with a squeeze. "I think he's in love with you still."

"Yeah, I don't know about that," She said chuckling, making him smile. She gulped then reached out to hug him and he wrapped an arm around her back. She let go and asked, "Will you still go to The Roxy tomorrow or has the punching dismayed you?"

He laughed. "I think I'll risk another round of punching. I'll be there."

She opened the door and inclined her head down. "I'll see you."

"See you, Clary," Dylan said as she closed the door and looked back one more time with a wave until she disappeared into the lobby. Dylan's smile fell and he stared, blinking. He took a deep breath, dragged his hands down his face and drove off.

* * *

><p>Jace looked through his peep hole then opened the door quickly, seeing who it was. "Clary," He breathed. "I'm so sorry," He said, immediately. "I'm sorry for punching Dylan and for being jealous and saying you owed me. You don't owe me shit. I'm a fucking idiot," Jace said, pointing to himself. "Do you want to hit me? You can hit the face. I won't tell Jordan it was you."<p>

Clary couldn't help but smile a little at his apology. "I'm sorry I didn't let you explain what really happened. I know now that Dylan was being a bastard and saying all these things -"

"But they were true, weren't they?" Jace asked and Clary looked down at the carpet. "Yeah. He was also right about him being right and that's why I got so mad and hit him."

Clary looked up and hesitated a moment. "Look, we can't pretend it didn't happen or that it didn't turn me into someone different because it did. I can't pretend that it didn't help shape me into who I am today even though a huge part of me is still made up from the time when we were kids. A lot had changed with me since then but they're good changes. I've gotten past the negativity that hurt people in the process of being hurt." Clary looked away. "I think I'm better for it now... but I'm not that same girl that was always protected by you. If we're going to rebuild our friendship, you won't see the girl that depended on you and built her world around you. If anything has changed, I can say it's that. And I know you're not the same person we were as kids. I just wanted to come here and ask for a fair chance for the both of us to get to know who we are now." Jace relentlessly stared at her while she spoke. "Can we do that, Jace? I feel like it's the only way it'll work."

Jace shook her head, snapping of his reverie. "Clary, if it means we'll be able to be friends and just be in each other's lives again, I can do that."

Clary took a step back. "Okay," She whispered. "I'll see you in the morning then."

"Yeah," Jace said, straightening up. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," Clary whispered and walked away as Jace watched her go. It wasn't until she walked into her room with sulked shoulders that he closed his own door with furrowed eyebrows.

* * *

><p>Isabelle looked up at the door as Clary came in and let it close behind her. Simon snored beside Isabelle while she was in the middle, Simon inches away from falling off the bed to her left.<p>

"You okay?" Isabelle whispered.

Clary shook her head, letting her purse fall the ground as she walked towards the bed and laid beside Isabelle, hugging her face in a pillow hiding the tears that were now freely falling. Isabelle turned onto her right side and pulled Clary's shoes off, then rubbed her back.

"Is it Jace?" Isabelle asked.

Isabelle heard a muffled, "No."

Isabelle looked at the back of Clary's head, sadly.

"Dylan?" She asked and Clary gripped her pillow tighter. "Oh, Clary."

Isabelle stayed with Clary just like that for a couple minutes until she saw an arm reach over her own and rub Clary's back as well. She felt Simon lean his head on her arm and the two comforted Clary until she fell asleep.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** If you'd all like to join me in a group hug for Dylan, that would be lovely. My heart is in shambles for this OC and I hate to disappoint but I'll say this now since Dylan is easy to attach to (Is Derek even alive at this point? I don't know. He was a douchebag) he's only going to be in a chapter since they're only in LA for two more days. But hey, I gave a little foreshadow that he may come back to the last show. Anyway, I've got love for Dylan. So much love. I'm tempted to create a one shot of him and Clary when they were teens if I could think of enough to write.

There were all kinds of feelings put out into the air in this chapter so **please leave me some reviews & feedback and tell me how you're feeling about all this**. Have I mentioned that I love the response to these chapters? I will repeat it in every A/N, that's just needed because they give my writing life. So please, continue letting me know how you feel :)

* * *

><p><strong>Thank youu to those who reviewed, alerted and favorited!<strong>

Shout out to **firequeen8569, Ramanaddict, inspiration23, Emily1515, DeathCabForMari, shaniamae99, Ydissbooksogood, TesaRose, Guest, imcrazyanditscontagious, cfire27, Guest (CiCi), Guest, camilabarba718, rcs17, Daire123, fanofanfic, Katwood5, lindsayhonaker, xxo, Guest, CherrySlushLover, LOVERGIRL, silvermice12, Guest, kennna97, tati1327, 5sos team Calum, Definition of Crazy **(for recommending this story!)** and FangirlHypeXx**! The reactions for this chapters were crazy, just as the chapter was, and I absolutely loved it. I adored seeing your reaction to the fight, your opinions of Dylan, Simon and brave Izzy against douchebag Derek. You guys make these chapters worth it completely for me and I can't thank ya enough for taking the time to review or your PM's. Your responses will come rolling in today :)

**Guest:** Thank you for your review! I was so motivated by the quick reactions and reviews that I just had to write it up asap. I'm glad you loved it!

**Guest (CiCi):** You are so very nice for commenting that the chapter was wonderfully written, thank you! And thank you for the review, of course. Clary and Jace aren't quite there yet haha but at least they've apologized!

**Guest:** Thank you for your review! And I know :( but I feel like it had to be done. I believe now that it actually brought some good so I hope you liked the chapter.

**Daire123: **Thank you for your review, I'm glad you liked the chapter! Dylan and Jace were definitely kind of acting like Clary was supposed to be something to one of them, I think the struggle of knowing she's not either of theirs kind of contributed to why they were already so angry at each other. Isabelle was awesome like she always is but she's just so badass so it was great to write. Clary and Jace didn't quite get to talk it out but I feel like they're on their way. I hope you liked this chapter just as much and it gave a little more insight to what you wanted to see them from.

**xxo:** I'm so glad you loved the chapter, thank you for your review! There wasn't much Clace in this chapter but there was a lot of talk about them so I hope it was enough for this one :)

**Guest:** I looved reading what you liked in the chapter. Yess, bow down to Isabelle and high five to Simon. Those two were awesome, haha. And Jon, yes, I'm glad people actually noticed what was going on with Jon because what happened with him got overshadowed and it's because of it that he'll be able to hide moments like that for a while just because there's so much going on in general. I hope me telling you that wasn't too foreshadowing, I just know that there's a worry for him and I want to just hug and explain to anyone who mentioned him. Thank you so much for your review! Can't wait to see what you have to say about this one :)

**LOVERGIRL:** Thank you for your review :) I hope you liked this update!

**Guest:** Thank you for your review! Dylan is so easy to love so I see why you felt it was a legit love triangle. I'm glad you liked the intensity of the chapter! I don't know if I can ever step away cliffhangers, I've got such a thing for them and they have such great one liner endings, lol.


	14. That's 'It'

**A/N: **Hello! I apologize for having a bit of an absence in updating, longer than it has been before. At least it feels that way. Life got a bit busy and I also had really annoying writer's block that was stopping me from getting this chapter written. To make it up to you, this chapter is a long one and I hope you don't mind. I have tons to say so I'll say some of it here.

A lovely author, **kelpie169**, has reviewed Day Late Friend and it is up on her website, which I will forever be excited about. The link is in my bio if you guys are interested in reading her sweet review. She also has her own stories on FF so go check her out. Thank you so very much, Kelly!

I'd like to shout out my two dear friends, who pulled me out of my writer's block by fangirling with me (Camille, that's you) and just putting my mind back into the right place in order to write (Mari, you simply understand where I'm coming from, always). They have their own TMI stories, that I personally love, so go check them out if you haven't already.

**Breakups and Shakeups by DeathCabForMari**

**Coming Home by rippingbutterflywings** or **1989** which she just posted yesterday and it made my feels visit the whole spectrum of emotion.

Also, shout out to **Ydissbooksogood** & **Islandgirl4evR** for bonding with me over my stories and being so encouraging, constantly. Thank youu so much for your support.

And finally, the songs that are in this chapter are:

**I Will Possess Your Heart - Death Cab For Cutie **(Appreciate DeathCabForMari for suggesting this song, please)

**Stay - Mayday Parade**

**Call Me Hopeless, But Not Romantic - Mayday Parade**

**Bodybag - Hit The Lights**

I haven't done a disclaimer in a while so I'll add that into here too. **All characters belong to Cassandra Clare (except beloved Dylan and douchebag Derek) but the story does belong to me. All the rights to the songs go to the respective bands.**

Thought I'd add that in once a while. But yes, anyway, enough of this, this is too long, I'm sorry, I hope you like it!

* * *

><p>Clary looked over her shoulder when she heard the click of the hotel door. She made eye contact with Simon as he opened the door and peaked inside. She smiled. "Hey," She said and he walked in, the door closing behind him.<p>

He flashed her a grin. "Hey." He leaned against the door. "Isabelle asked me to come in here and see if you wanted to join us for breakfast or wanted another plate."

"Yeah, she's been texting me non-stop," Clary said as her phone flashed again from an unopened text. "I kind of just wanted a quiet breakfast," Clary said, looking at her plate.

"Is it okay if I sit with you?" Simon asked.

"Yeah, you're quiet enough," Clary said and Simon sat in the seat beside her while they looked out the window. The two stared out the window for almost ten minutes as Clary ate her breakfast and Simon didn't bother her. She glanced at him before popping a grape into her mouth. "I'm okay, Simon."

He looked at her. "Are you sure? You were pretty upset last night. Did something happen with Dylan? Isabelle said she gets why you were crying but, I don't know, I guess I'm worried that you two fought," Simon said and Clary smiled to herself just hearing that Isabelle was in tune with her.

"We didn't fight. Our realizations just got achingly painful," Clary said, staring at the table. "I've just always felt this sadness for Dylan. I've always tried to help to keep him happy but the one thing that really hurts him is something I can't force."

"What is that?"

"I can't ..." Clary paused. "I can't love him the same way he loves me." She looked up. "It hurts me that I can't. It hurts me that he knows that."

"Clary." Simon sat at the edge of his seat to sit closer to her. "You can't force yourself to be in love with someone. You know that."

"I know, I just wish I could have," Clary said, still not making eye contact. "I thought something must have been wrong with me. I thought maybe I was broken because of Jace and because of him, I thought I couldn't trust someone enough to really love them. I mean, who in their right mind wouldn't love Dylan back?" Clary asked, looking at Simon, who glanced down to avoid looking into the pain in her eyes. "Then one day, that pain from Jace felt like it faded and it was like I could breathe again. I felt hopeful that everything, anything would be alright. But Dylan wasn't there anymore, he wasn't there to try and see if I could love him back."

Simon reached out and took her hands to put in his own. "Clarissa," he said, seriously. "You can not control how people feel towards you. You can't shield people from pain. That is not up to you, you have no say in that. You have no say in how you make people feel if it isn't intended. People get hurt, everyone gets hurt and no matter what you do, you can't control that. You don't pick and choose what your heart wants, your heart chooses for you and screws you over because you ache and feel like you're dying if you don't follow it's wants."

Clary smiled a little to herself.

"That's why Dylan made that choice to continue loving you despite you not feeling the same way. He chose that, Clarissa. That doesn't make his pain any less but he knows what he was getting into. If you force yourself to love him, you will both hurt more and I think that's the worse thing you two could possible do to each other. You can't pretend something like that, you two aren't good at being blind to something. You are the type of person who needs feelings that are real, people that are real - that is why you and Isabelle are one. I need you to stop beating yourself up over this." Simon sat back and shook his head. "Screw anyone else, Clary. Honestly. I want _you_ happy. You take care of us in so many ways and you help us get our shit together. It's our turn to help you out. It's our turn to have your back 4 in the morning when you need us to help sort out your mind." He leaned forward and held her hands again while her emerald eyes glanced down at him. "I want you to be free for once. I want you to focus on yourself and what you want. Please try that for me, for us. For yourself Clary, shit. Just try it."

* * *

><p>"Look who I found," Simon sang as he opened the door into Jace's room where they were all having ordered room service. He had Clary's hand in his and he raised it in the air as she rolled her eyes with a smile on her face.<p>

"Good morning, Clarissa!" Magnus said as the group whooped and clapped their hands. "You have the most wonderful complexion," He said simply as Jordan gave him a weird look.

"Second round of breakfast, Clary?" Maia asked, gesturing to the table full of food.

"I'm okay," Clary responded kindly then her eyes found Jace's as he sat on the couch.

He was looking at her hesitantly, obviously not sure if she was still upset at him. She plopped down beside him and smirked, opening her hand that had a couple grapes in it.

"Did you bring that from your room?" He asked, glancing at her hands.

She popped one in her mouth. "Yup." He chuckled at her then turned forward, the two sitting beside each other in comfortable silence.

"Clary," Jonathan said, looking over Alec to make eye contact with his sister. "I was telling everyone about when we were younger and the bodyguards would bring their kids on tour, all sons, which was convenient for Jace, so wasn't a girl pusher," He said and Clary could hear Jace exhale through his nose in annoyance. "That when the boys would try to play with you, he'd push them and then quiz the little boys on how much they know about you."

"Yes then I'd get very upset with him then push him over too," Clary said, turning to look at Jace, who glanced at her, unamused. "Then we'd chant Jealous Jace."

Isabelle and Simon laughed then Jonathan began the chant while everyone in the room joined except Clary, who giggled to herself and Jace, who rolled his eyes.

"Thank you for that," He told her and she grinned, not looking at him.

She popped a grape in her mouth and chomped down. "You're welcome."

* * *

><p>"Holy. Shit." Clary stared out the darkened black van windows. The tips of her fingers were against the glass as she stared with her jaw dropped.<p>

"Holy shit!" Isabelle squealed as Clary could feel Isabelle leaning on her back to get a better look. The two looked back at the boys, who were cursing and going crazy as the bus waited to make a left on the busy Sunset Boulevard. "We need a picture of this."

Clary reached for her phone and her hands shook as she scrambled to take a picture. Above the encased glass of posters, right beside the huge iconic 'ROXY' sign was bold black letters against the white background. It said 'THE ELITE FOUR' and it made Clary's heart beat fast. She could feel it in her heart that they were in the moment of a change. She could feel that after tonight, things may never be the same. Because under the band's name it had the words 'SOLD OUT' and Clary knew she could point out that moment in her memories some time in the future and be able to say to herself that this was the exact moment everything was different.

After the two black vans parked, one containing their instruments, the other including the band, Jace, Maia and Jordan, the band made their way across the street to take a picture of their sign. Walking back, Clary looked at Jace, who was obviously frustrated as he spoke in a hushed voice to Maia and Jordan. He shook his head with finalty then put his hands in his jacket. Jordan looked to Maia and Maia sighed then shrugged, saying something to the two in reply.

The three looked up as the band approached then they were led inside through the back entrance.

"Clary," Jordan called out while the band set up their instruments and Clary sat at the piano she would be using. She looked down towards the front of the stage. "Wanna discuss schedules?"

"Yes!" Clary said, jumping up. "I had a few questions. Let me get my planner in the van." She jumped off the stage and Isabelle rolled her eyes at Clary's excitement over organization.

* * *

><p>After getting the keys from Bat, Clary pushed the door open and walked towards the van, parked next to a metal barrier that went down a slope onto the sidewalk. She smiled a little when she saw Dylan standing at the sidewalk, his phone in his hand, tilted to it's side, with raised arms to take a picture of the sign. Her smile faded as she got closer and was able to see the dark colors on Dylan's left cheekbone that stood out from his pale skin.<p>

"Crazy, huh?" Clary asked as she opened the van door. Dylan's shoulders jumped then he looked at her, pointing above him.

"That is crazy," Dylan said walking up the slope while she grabbed her planner and closed the door. "The fucking Roxy has the band's name on it."

"I know," Clary said, not being able to stop smiling. The two smiled at each other then looked down, unsure what to say. "Why are you around so early?"

"I was hoping to catch you guys before I come back with Derek tonight," Dylan said, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "We're supposed to put up a _united_ front."

"United?" Clary asked, trying not to laugh. "United against Isabelle Lightwood?"

Dylan gave a nod. "Apparently. And Derek called me a traitor for letting him leave on his own." Dylan raised his eyebrows. "He's dumb."

"Yes, he is," Clary said, laughing a little. "But good. He should come later. Isabelle is gonna tear him apart."

Dylan smiled now. "Well, good."

"Do you wanna come watch rehearsal then?" Clary asked and Dylan looked behind her.

"Uh, am I allowed to? I mean, considering -" Dylan started and Clary gave a nod.

"You're allowed," Clary said, with finality. "Jealous Jace has been tamed. I hope you've tamed your Douchebag Dylan."

Dylan chuckled. "I have."

"Okay, good," Clary said, holding out a hand. "Come on."

* * *

><p>"I'm not going, Mai," Jace told Maia while her shoulders fell. "I don't care about some date. I <em>have<em> to be here tonight."

She sighed. "I know, I know. I just needed confirmation." She got on her phone and started emailing someone.

"I'm sorry," Jace apologized and Maia inclined her head as indication that she understood. She walked towards Jordan, who leaned against the wall and winked at Maia as she approached him. Jace's eyebrows rose in surprise and confusion at it. He turned away, deciding it was nothing. His eyes got wide as he saw Clary open the door and wait for someone to enter with her.

Slowly, Dylan peaked inside then walked in, looking at the venue as Clary grinned. She displayed the venue with a swift extent of her right arm going from left to right. She looked up at him with a beaming smile and he returned it. He looked down at her and Jace could feel his heart getting squeezed. With no alcohol to haze his mind and with a new outlook on their relationship, Jace could see the love in Dylan's eyes for her. He could see that in a single look - by the way his eyes softened, the way his gaze followed her - Dylan was in love with Clary. And by the way she looked at him with only light in her eyes and a comfortable body language, Jace realized that his yearning did not match her own.

"Poor bastard," Jace whispered as he watched the undeniable connection between them. They looked at each other at the same moments, he followed her without actually seeing where she was going. Jace looked down as he forced himself to look away.

* * *

><p>"Hi, Dylan," Isabelle said, leaning down to hug him from the stage. "Is your brother coming tonight?"<p>

"Yes, Izzy," Dylan replied, amused until she stood up then stomped her stiletto heel down. Dylan and Clary's smiles fell and they looked at her with her wide eyes.

"Good," She said, raising her left shoulder then walking away.

"Isabelle has gotten scarier over time," Dylan commented and Clary nodded as the two turned around.

Clary's breath caught when she saw Jace walking over and she saw Dylan's body go completely rigid.

"Hello," Jace said, walking closer with caution.

"I told him Jealous Jace has left the building, if you -"

Jace put his hands up and said, "I just came here to talk to Dylan. I vow not to hit."

Clary looked at Dylan, who looked surprised. "I vow not to instigate," He said, quickly.

She looked between them with narrowed eyes then waved her hand as if to dismiss them. "Fine but I am across the room. I will see any sort of altercation or angry body language." She passed by in the middle of them, giving them both a look before she was gone, making her way towards Jordan.

"So I wanted to," Jace started to say but looked over Dylan's head to see Simon standing there, staring right down at him. "Real subtle, Simon."

As if he got caught, Simon got red then walked away. Jace looked around, confused at Simon's reaction when he wasn't even trying to hide the fact that he was listening.

"Can we move to over there?" Jace asked and Dylan nodded, following Jace to the steps that led up to the bar area, right beside the merchandise window, that was empty and unoccupied. "Look," Jace said, looking at his shoes first as he dragged his right hand through his hair. "I'm really sorry about what happened last night."

Dylan was looking at Jace with his eyes in slits. He was convinced that Jace was doing this to be in cahoots with Clary and just to show that he was _saying_ sorry but he couldn't even look Dylan in the eyes.

Jace looked up and surprise wiped Dylan's face. When Jace made eye contact with him, finally looking up and standing up straight, his eyes were sincere.

"Are you an actor?" Dylan asked.

Jace looked away then took a moment. "Um. No." Jace shook his head a little then jumped back on topic. "I understand if you don't believe me but I _am_ sorry. I didn't mean to start a fight with you. I just got surprised with the reality of things and I wasn't ready for it at all."

Dylan looked at Jace tentatively, wondering if he should trust him and the apology he was so easily handing out.

Seeing his hesitation, Jace continued, "I didn't actually realize until after I, um, hit you that you were actually right and that's why I got so upset. I don't know much at all about Clary as of recently and we're going to fix that." Dylan looked down as he said 'we'. "I also didn't realize until Isabelle came to talk to me that you were essential in Clary getting stronger." Dylan looked up at him in surprise at this. "And I should rather thank you for helping, um, how would I phrase this? For helping her move past the little fuck I was being." Dylan cracked a smile. "I know now that you mean a lot to her and she means a lot to you, which was why you were so angry with me. I realized that there was no way for you to know we had already talked and you only knew me as that 11-year-old twat." Jace blinked. "I apologize for the choice of words."

"No, you were just that," Dylan said but his tone was light.

Jace smiled. "So I'm sorry. Also, sorry for rambling, I tend to do that."

Dylan stood up straight and gave a nod, "Same here." Dylan held out a hand, stepping back. "Look, I'm sorry I baited you. Really. When I saw you, I could only see the guy that broke her heart and soul, you know?"

Jace flinched slightly and Dylan's face dropped a little seeing it. "Yeah, I understand." Jace turned around when Jon called out for Clary then looked to his right as Jordan called him from the elevated VIP section. "Excuse me for a moment," Jace said, and Dylan pursed his lips as he heard Jace's 'business man' voice. "Wait," Jace said, turning back around to face Dylan. "Would you like a backstage pass for tomorrow night? Our last show is at Greek Theater if you weren't doing anything."

"Oh," Dylan said, shifting his weight.

"I mean, I'd like to make it up to you a little for, you know -" Jace pointed at his own eye. "Doing that to you."

Dylan laughed. "Yeah, sure."

Jace gave a nod then jogged over to Clary, leaning down, his hands on his thighs as he bent to listen to her. She looked down at him and was talking eagerly as her pen bounced in the air as she used it to make points.

Dylan stared at Jace and the way his eyes were transfixed on Clary. He absolutely looked like he was in a trance, nodding occasionally to show he was absorbing her words. Dylan winced. "Poor bastard."

* * *

><p>Clary handed Isabelle her drum sticks as she did her usual messy bun.<p>

"Where are your boyfriends?" Isabelle asked and Clary threw her a glare.

Clary tried to look through the curtain that was flowing from the air blasting from above them from a vent.

She huffed when she couldn't see anything. "I think they're being boyfriends to each other."

Simon laughed a little. "What do those two have to bond about?"

Isabelle and Simon walked over to the stage and peaked, careful not to show themselves to the crowd.

"Clary, duh," Isabelle whispered and Clary's eyes got wide. She turned around and pulled out her phone.

* * *

><p>Dylan and Jace dropped their shot glasses onto the wooden bar and both had pained expressions as they swallowed their shot of whiskey.<p>

Jace opened his eyes when his phone lit up with a text from Clary. He swiped to the right and read 'Stop being boyfriends with Dylan. Join us in the back before they go on.' Jace side eyed Dylan, who looked at him, confused.

"What?" Dylan asked.

"Nothing," Jace said, stuffing his phone in his pocket ignoring the fact Clary had called them 'boyfriends'. "Clary said we should head back." Jace leaned back, holding onto the edge of the bar. "Raphael. Are you sure you don't want a shot? I'll get you a billion."

"I'm sure you would, Mr. Jace," Raphael said, looking around at the girls Jace's back was facing. "Last time I let you get me drunk you disappeared and I got severely reprimanded by your father. Well, after Jordan found me half naked in a bush, of course." Jace grinned at him.

"That was a great night," Jace told him then slid off his seat as Dylan turned around and froze. He stared at the invisible line that girls were standing behind after Raphael had ordered them. Jace smiled and said, loudly, "Goodbye, ladies. I hope you all enjoy the show. The Elite Four!" which resulted in the girls saying in unison, 'The Elite Four!'

Jace laughed as Dylan followed him through the crowd, Raphael leading their line.

* * *

><p>"The Boyfriends!" Isabelle exclaimed making Clary shove her as Jace and Dylan looked at each other in confusion. "What? Only<em> you<em> can get two feuding boys to act good enough to be friends on your behalf," Isabelle whispered to Clary then walked away as the Jace and Dylan stood before her.

Dylan looked down at his phone when it vibrated in his hand. "Oh, my brother is here. I'm gonna tell him I'll be staying here for the show."

"What happened to being _united_?" Clary asked, exaggerating the word, obnoxiously.

"United," Dylan overly mocked her, making Jace smile to himself. She crossed her arms, trying to stop the smile forming on her lips. "I'll tell him he can suck it." Clary gave a laugh and Dylan shook his head, rolling his eyes at her. He walked off, looking down at his phone. "Oh wait," He said to himself then turned around, frozen in his steps as he saw them.

Jace was looking down at Clary, the two of them smiling at each other as they spoke. Jace laughed then pressed her cheeks together and she slumped her shoulders. She looked up into his eyes as he told her something with sincerity then she broke into a laugh and pushed him away. Dylan suddenly became aware of his own breathing and it was all he could hear other than Death Cab For Cutie's _I Will Possess Your Heart_ playing through the speakers of The Roxy.

_How I wish you could see the potential,_  
><em>the potential of you and me.<em>  
><em>It's like a book elegantly bound but,<em>  
><em>in a language that you can't read.<em>  
><em>Just yet.<em>

As hard as Dylan tried, he couldn't pry his eyes away. He couldn't take his eyes away from their unbreakable eye contact. He couldn't turn away from the fact that he and a few others were blatantly watching them but they were in their own world, unable to notice. He couldn't ignore the fact that they simply _looked_ like they should be together. He couldn't ignore how in tune even their physical bodies were. If one shifted to their right, the other was doing the same. If one smiled, the other was smiling at the same time.

_There are days when outside your window  
>I see my reflection as I slowly pass,<br>and I long for this mirrored perspective  
>when we'll be lovers, lovers at last.<em>

Dylan watched as Jace took one of Clary's hands and held it in both of his. He told her something and she nodded, then literally shook off what he could only guess as nervousness. He dropped their hands and Clary held her hands together, tightly. She then put her hands over her face, covering her eyes from seeing the look that Jace had on his face. He looked completely enamored. It was undeniable that Jace was in love with Clary.

Dylan gulped then turned around, forcing himself to walk away, feeling like all he knew about love might have been a lie. How could he love someone so much when it was clear she was meant to be with someone else? Why did love play the cruel joke of unrequited love on him? The idea that if she loved him in any way would be enough began to deteriorate in Dylan's mind. After seeing her with Jace, Dylan realized it was absolutely unfair to have love for a girl who already had an entire universe of love from someone else.

_You gotta spend some time, Love._  
><em>You gotta spend some time with me.<em>  
><em>And I know that you'll find, love<em>  
><em>I will possess your heart.<em>  
><em>You gotta spend some time, Love.<em>  
><em>You gotta spend some time with me.<em>  
><em>And I know that you'll find, love<em>  
><em>I will possess your heart.<em>  
><em>I will possess your heart.<em>  
><em>I will possess your heart.<em>

* * *

><p>Clary looked around yet again. Dylan had never come back after he said he would tell Derek that he was going to watch from backstage. She looked up at Jace.<p>

"You ready?" He asked and she nodded meekly then looked back at the entrance for back stage. No Dylan.

"Jace," Clary whispered and Jace leaned down to hear her. He looked at her when she didn't say anything. "The second song. It's the past, okay? It's not the present. Remember that."

Jace searched Clary eyes. She was begging him. He gave a nod.

Clary looked out from the side of the stage as her brother announced her. She walked out and waved out at the crowd, not able to hide her reaction. The floor was filled, all the way back to the bar. They cheered for her as she sat down on her piano seat. She looked out for Dylan, breathing a sigh of relief to see him with his brother. 'At least he didn't leave,' She thought as she made herself comfortable. She took a deep breath as the crowd went silent. She closed her eyes and her fingers began to play as Jon sang.

_I need some time just deliver the things that I need for now_  
><em>Everything that I feel's like a warm deep calm casting over me<em>  
><em>And it's taking me to somewhere new<em>

Clary looked over her shoulder as she played. She watched Isabelle, who had a far away look in her eyes. When Isabelle looked up, she made eye contact with Clary.

'Are you okay?' Clary mouthed.

Isabelle nodded with a small smile as Clary inclined her head towards her as Isabelle joined in with the drums.

_Oh can you tell, I haven't slept very well_  
><em>Since the last time that we spoke, you said<em>  
><em>"Please understand if I see you again don't even say hello."<em>

Clary faced forward then closed her eyes as Jonathan whispered 'Please' into the mic then Alec and Simon joined in. She didn't open her eyes until the bridge came and she immediately looked over at Isabelle, who was singing on her own, along with Simon and Jonathan.

_I'll admit I was wrong about everything_  
><em>Cause I'm high and I don't wanna come down<em>  
><em>All the fun that we had on your mothers couch,<em>  
><em>I don't even wanna think about<em>

Clary turned to her left to look out at the crowd. She looked at the faces that sang along, the ones that bopped their heads, the faces that were smiling in the euphoria of live music. Then she found Dylan's eyes on her as Jonathan sang,

_I'm not strong enough for the both of us_  
><em>What was I supposed to do<em>  
><em>You know I love you<em>

She pulled her gaze away and stared down at the keys she was playing, ignoring the lump in her throat.

* * *

><p>Jace was smiling to himself as he watched with his arms crossed, bopping his head along to Isabelle's drums when he noticed Clary look out into the crowd. Seeing the look on her face, he knew that she was looking at Dylan. He forced down the lump in his throat processing that the words in the song were probably meant for Dylan when she wrote it.<p>

He looked down at his shoes until the band made a flawless transition into the next song.

_It's the past, okay? It's not the present. Remember that._

Remembering her words, Jace looked up hearing her voice with Jon's. She was singing to the song. Jace stared at her with wide eyes knowing this was the very first time she ever sang along on stage.

_I can't believe that so much time was spent on my own_  
><em>Just trying to figure it out all alone<em>  
><em>Don't show emotion, let this go<em>

_I can't pretend that everything is still okay_  
><em>Until you rightfully say what you said<em>  
><em>The night you left me here for dead, for dead<em>

Jace looked over at Isabelle and she was looking at him. She gave him a reassuring nod and he gave one back as Isabelle's words from the night before rang through his mind.

_A lot has changed, Jace. You can't get mad at every realization that you've missed a huge part of each other's lives._

Jace tore his eyes away from watching Isabelle and looked back at Clary as she sang with all the boys now.

_Why do you cry when you're falling asleep_  
><em>And girl, how can you love without ever losing it all<em>  
><em>Don't put your faith in this when you won't believe it<em>  
><em>Where did you go<em>  
><em>How will you find yourself when your hand to hold is letting go<em>  
><em>Where did you go<em>  
><em>How will you tell yourself you're losing hope<em>  
><em>Losing Hope<em>

Jace looked towards Isabelle when she sang along with Simon on the next verse.

_Is it just me or has this time we've spent come undone_  
><em>I know forever is not what you want<em>  
><em>I'll pack my bags and brush it off, brush it off<em>

He smiled to himself as he saw Isabelle giggle. As the song progressed, the boys were grinning. Realizing that this was needed for Clary and Isabelle to do, Jace felt the guilt and dread slip away. Before he knew it, Simon was ending the song with his electric guitar and Clary was walking off the stage towards him.

Behind her, Jonathan was saying, "Okay, now this song is strictly for boys who suck and need to get their dicks chopped off. Sorry for the language, Jordan." Then he proceeded to sing the song as Simon grinned, playing beside him while Isabelle Lightwood stood up in the back and sang along, with her arms raised in the air.

_You're gonna need a bodybag,  
>I'll break bones you didn't know you had.<br>When I'm done there will be nothing left of you  
>for your friends to hold on to<br>when they find you cold and blue tonight,  
>face down in a parking lot.<em>

Jace couldn't help but laugh at the lyrics. Isabelle sat down and began to play along to the first verse. Clary stood beside him and he could feel her tug at his sleeves. He leaned down to his left and she asked, "Are you mad?"

He looked down at her and shook his head. "No, Clary. I understand how cathartic it is." She pursed her lips together then looked at Isabelle as she happily rocked out to the violent lyrics. Clary joined _The Elite Four _along with the crowd in singing the words while their claps resounded, no guitars being played, only Isabelle's steady beat accompanying the singing of the lyrics.

_This time I'm waiting here for you, you got nowhere to hide_

He looked to his left as an excited, jumping Clary, was pointing towards the exit. Jace could spot the top of Derek's head leaving the venue. He smirked.

* * *

><p>"Hey!" Clary yelled, running out from backstage. Dylan was smiling and she crashed into him with an excited hug. "Wasn't that amazing? It felt really fucking amazing. How was it? What did you think?" She asked, her questions rolling out of her mouth. She stopped and took a deep breath. "Wait, where were you?"<p>

Dylan's smile fell. "Can we talk outside for a bit?"

Clary's excitement left her face and she gave a nod. The two trudged through the crowd and pushed open the back door of the venue, the wind making them brace for cold. They walked away from the crowd of girls who were waiting beside the vans, behind the metal barrier. They turned the corner of the building.

"What happened? Is everything okay?" Clary asked, wrapping her arms around herself.

Dylan itched to give her his jacket but he resisted doing so, knowing his mind would hold onto the sight of her in it. "Yeah. I mean, no." Dylan looked down. He reached into his pocket. "Clary, I don't think I can go tomorrow." He held out the ticket and backstage pass out to her.

She looked down at it but didn't take it. "Why? I thought you and Jace..."

"We are," Dylan said, refusing to look at her. "It's not about Jace."

"Are you upset at me? Did I do-"

"No, you didn't do anything," Dylan said, interrupting her, finally making eye contact. "It's just us, Clary. I can't ... I need a moment to process that we're not ... That this isn't." Dylan took a deep breath and gathered all his strength to be able to say it. "Clary, since we left New York, there was always this part of me that thought maybe our paths would cross again and we would be together. I never expected it but I never really got over that idea either." He saw Clary shiver but he wasn't quite sure it was from the cold. "I - I realized today that 'we' are never going to happen. Not in any way that we would be happy." He watched her eyes look down towards the ground. "I guess I knew it before but I had never dealt with that fact. Today, I saw exactly why we would never work out in being together. And I, I need a moment to recover from that, Clary." She looked up at him, waiting for him to say what she knew he would. "Apart from you. Apart from any contact for a while, apart from seeing you tomorrow."

She nodded. "I ..." She struggled to find her words as she reached out and took the tickets and pass from his fingers. "I get it. And I'm sorry."

"It isn't your fault."

"I'm still sorry," Clary said and Dylan nodded.

"I know and I'm sorry I have to make it this way for a little bit. It's just I-"

"I know," Clary told him. "I understand, Dylan."

He nodded and the two stared at each other's shoes.

"Look, have a great time on tour, okay?" Dylan said and she peeked at him. "Watching you guys up there tonight, I know everything is changing. And it's going to be fucking huge."

She smiled, looking away. "Yeah, it feels that way, doesn't it?"

"Oh, it's a fucking fact at this point," he said and she gave a laugh. "I'll still be there in New York, okay? I'll be ready by then." She nodded. "I'll text you when I-"

"Whenever you're ready," She said, softly.

He gnawed on his bottom lip, nervously. "Okay." He started to walk away from her, towards the corner of the building. "Clary," He said and she looked up at him. "I saw you and Jace and I see that that's 'it'."

"What's-"

"It just is 'it'," he said, with a smile. "You'll know what I'm saying later on. Just ... don't let what has happened stop you, okay? And we're alright. Remember that we're alright." She nodded. He pushed his hands into his pockets. "I, you know, you. You know that, right? That I do? Nothing will change that."

"I know," She said, her fingers gripping into her upper arms. "Always the same with you. I'll always have, you know, that, for you."

Dylan laughed, making Clary smirk. "It's like we're fucking kids." He inclined his head down at her. "Love you, Clarissa. Always will."

"Love you too, Dylan," She said, smiling as best she could. He raised his eyebrows as he inhaled the cold in, then turned around, walking away from her, disappearing around the corner. Clary leaned her head back, looked up at the night sky then took a deep breath.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** I hope this chapter was worth the wait, my dears. I feel so bad about the late update, please forgive me. There also may be typos I missed, I'll be fixing those! I just wanted to post this chapter as soon as possible.

I'm eager to know your reactions so please let me know what you think! By the way, I can not explain how happy I am that many of you are loving this story along with me. **You guys make my soul cry from joy. Please continue to tug at my heartstrings and leave some reviews & feedback :)**

Also, I hope everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving if your families celebrate!

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you to everyone who has left reviews and has alertedfavorited this story!** Thank you, thank you, thank you. Seeing feedback for this story really makes the writing fun and worthwhile. Also, to anyone who PMs me back and tells me kind things, thank you so very much.

* * *

><p>Shout out to <strong>EmFinch, ClaceAndPeeniss4eva, Ydissbooksogood, Emily1515, Guest, TesaRose, firequeen8569, Cheery Tropay Venturi, Arcoirizada, VampiressBeauty20, Riley207, DeathCabForMari, Guest (CiCi), 5sos team Calum, tmi lover, camilabarba718, lindsayhonaker, rcs17, Guest, silvermice12, kennna97, fanofanfic, imcrazyanditscontagious, cfire27, shaniamae99, xxo, Katwood5, rippingbutterflywings, fictionallfangir, shannie83, Arelia Miles, Islandgirl4evR, AKA SherlockHolmes, Ramanaddict<strong> and of course **kelpie169!**

I don't even know how to express how much I appreciate the reviews you have left. The last chapter had the most amount of reviews I've gotten and it means so very much to me. I love that you all are enjoying this story as much as I enjoy writing & planning for it. I sincerely give you all hugs.

Since I'm posting this at night (where I am haha) I'll be replying to those I can PM later on tonight or during the day tomorrow!

**Guest: **Oh, I know. Seriously, bless him. Clary really hurt my heart as well in the last chapter and this one as well. I wanted to show those three having a close friendship. Clary is basically the middle to Isabelle and Simon so I thought it'd be cute how essential she is in their relationship. Thank you for your review! You are amazing for letting me know all that you liked :)

**Guest (CiCi): **Thank you for your review and even more thank you's for waiting patiently for Clace! I appreciate your patience with me, sincerely. The romantic in you will be happy later on, I promise :) I'm so glad this is one of your favorites, honestly. Thank you for liking my writing & for just reading this since the beginning. I hope you liked this chapter!

**tmi lover:** Thank you for your review! I'm glad you liked the chapter and I hope you enjoyed this one too.

**Guest:** So incredibly happy you think the story is amazing so far :) Thank you for your review!

**xxo: **Of course! Thank you for taking the time to review :) love that you loved it.

**fictionallfangir: **Thank you for your review, I hope you loved this chapter just as much!


	15. Hashtag JaceHerondale

**A/N: **I've only got one important thing to say in this beginning A/N (other than I hope you guys enjoy the chapter and thank you for being sad for Dylan along with me) so I'll just keep this short.

Do you remember me mentioning **kelpie169** (she's awesome, go check out her stories and her website, pleasee) in my last chapter? Well, she's done something I'm even more eternally grateful for and that is giving me my first author interview.** You guys, I've been interviewed for the first time for being an _author_. ****It feels crazy and it was an amazing feeling. If you guys want to check it out, the link is in my bio.** If anybody reads it, I hope we have something in common and you PM me and we can bond/fangirl over it.

I wanted to write that whole interview section in caps because I'm so excited but I resisted. Another A/N & thank you's at the bottom as usual!

* * *

><p>Clary pulled open the back door of the venue and she saw a few heads turn her way. Looking exasperated, Isabelle threw her arms up in the air and walked over to her with a determined strut. Clary was surprised when she couldn't feel the fear build up in her as the sound of Isabelle's stilettos came closer. She sighed a little to herself - she really must be feeling nothing.<p>

"Clarissa!" Isabelle scolded. Simon and Jace were at her heels, looking at each other as if they didn't know whether to be mad along with Isabelle or save Clary from her. "Where the hell were you? We've been looking for you for an hour. You're lucky Jonathan got caught up having drinks. He would be here yelling at you. I thought Stuart came from New York to kidnap your ass."

Feeling exhausted, Clary pointed behind her with her thumb. "I was in the back of the building talking to Dylan."

"And? Where is he?" Isabelle asked, looking around.

"He uh, he left," Clary said, softly. Isabelle turned to look at her and stared into Clary's eyes like she was examining them.

Isabelle took Clary's face in her hands then gasped, pulling back. "Fuck, Clary, you're freezing."

As if Isabelle said magic words, Simon wrapped Clary in her jacket that he was holding, her phone weighing down the right side of it. Jace pulled his black beanie out of his pocket and plopped it onto Clary's head. She stood there and stared at Isabelle.

"Are you okay?" Isabelle asked.

Clary looked at Simon and Jace behind her before she said, "Yes. I'm okay."

Isabelle nodded after seeing that there were no tears threatening to spill over in her eyes and that she wasn't fidgeting. She seemed alarmingly calm. Isabelle stepped back. She wasn't sure if this was one of the times when being numb was more dangerous than being upset.

"Want a shot? I'll buy," Isabelle said and Clary smiled, slightly.

"Yes, Izzy. Please," Clary said and Isabelle took her hands, wincing when she felt how Clary's fingers felt like ice. The two walked out of the backstage area as Simon turned and followed. He stopped when he didn't hear Jace's footsteps behind him. He turned and Jace was standing in the same spot.

"Jace," Simon said and Jace turned around then walked over to him.

"Is Clary okay?" Jace asked, as Simon walked into step with him.

Simon nodded, looking down. "I think Dylan probably did the best thing for the both of them."

* * *

><p>After the group had a few quick drinks at the bar, they went outside and talked for almost an hour with the people that waited outside. They all got in a circle, taking pictures and just conversing - along with Jace, who Raphael wouldn't take his eyes off - then Jordan called them all to get into the vans.<p>

They all mostly decided to stay in, except Jonathan, who said he was going to hang out with Sebastian at the club. Everyone was surprised to hear the two had hit it off as friends the night before. Everybody else decided to opt out and stay in for the night.

"Clary," Isabelle said, in her pajamas, standing at the door of their room. "Are you sure you don't want to hang with me and Simon?"

"I'm sure, Izzy," Clary said, hugging her pillow as she laid on it. Her eyes glanced away from the TV. "I'm just going to order room service and let Jimmy Kimmel entertain me."

Isabelle frowned. "I'm worried."

"I promise you, I am okay," Clary said, sitting up on the bed. She held her arms out and Isabelle walked over to her, then the two hugged each other.

"But you're hurt," Isabelle said as she pulled away.

"Yeah, but I feel like he's set me free a little," Clary said as guilt poked at her, hearing herself say it out loud. "I'm okay, Izzy. And please, just stay with Simon tonight." Isabelle opened her mouth to say something. "Please."

She closed her mouth then gave a nod. "Text me if you need me. I mean it." With that, Isabelle opened the door and let it close behind her.

Even though she really wanted Isabelle to go hang out with Simon, Clary's heart tightened with the silence that surrounded her. She could feel that she was alone. She could feel the lack of emotions in herself. And that worried her. Wasn't she supposed to be aching inside because Dylan had broken off their friendship? Not permanently but he did tell her he wanted to cut that ties with her. Wasn't she supposed to writhe with pain over the fact that he was hurting so much that he had to cut ties with her in the first place? Clary looked up at the ceiling, the blankets wrapped around her in the frigid hotel room. She knew she should have felt pain but for some reason, she felt the most relieved she had been in months.

When she first found out that Stephen and her mom were talking again to plan a reunion for their families, the life that she had pushed away came rushing back to her. Along with that came the people she had hurt - including Dylan. But she put him in the back of her mind because she needed her strength and peace of mind all focused on Jace. When her plan of resisting any ties with Jace had gone to shit, she was faced with the news of tour, which turned into worrying about the tour itself. About a week before they left for tour is when Clary realized that they were heading to LA and LA always meant Dylan to her. A part of her knew she should reach out to tell him they would be in town, but Clary questioned if it would be a good idea.

LA was the place that took him away. It was the place he left for and the reason that two of them showed what their true feelings were. It made Dylan see that although she was hurt that he was leaving, she didn't want to try to make the long distance work. Clary knew that long distance would be too difficult for a couple that was so on and off between being strictly best friends and being together. Dylan knew that Clary not wanting to be a 'couple' anymore since he was leaving was confirmation of the thought he had the entire time they had known each other - Clary did not love him as much as he loved her.

It was the hardest conversation they ever had. It was filled with tears, screaming and harsh realizations. But it was the most honest conversation they ever had, with no reservations of hurting each other's feelings and releasing feelings that they were holding on to. Everything became clear that night and the two talked as friends until they lost contact naturally due to the brother's getting too busy with their own success.

That conversation hurt. That departure from each other hurt. But this, this wasn't giving Clary that pain that she thought she should be feeling. She couldn't even feel the guilt of being numb. Because deep down, she knew, that this was the best thing for him. Even if it wasn't the best thing for her, it was for him and that's all Clary wanted for him after he left New York. It was all she wanted for him, after she had hurt him in the worst way possible. She just wanted him to be happy and finally, nothing tugged at her to indicate that he wasn't going to be. Because for once, Dylan was free of her. At least he wanted to be.

* * *

><p>Jace was flipping through channels when he heard someone knock on the hotel room door across from his own. He laughed to himself when Simon opened his door saying 'Isabelle Lightwood' with an game show announcer's voice. She hushed him and the door closed shortly after he heard Simon mumbling something to her about 'promising to let him use the announcer voice one day' and she responded with 'quiet hotel hallways don't call for it'.<p>

Jace sat up in his bed a little realizing Clary's voice wasn't with Isabelle's. Jace wondered if she was alone and he looked over at his phone. He didn't want her to be alone after seeing her almost lifeless when they walked over to her. He had never seen Clary so _empty_. Empty, Jace kept thinking. He couldn't pinpoint the word earlier but he realized it while sitting there that it was as if Clary was stripped of something within her and she was left hallow. Jace got dizzy thinking about the amount of caring someone had to feel for another to feel such an absence when they were to break apart. Jace reached for his heather gray sweater and threw it over his head. He turned his TV off then opened his door. He took a step out, barefoot on the hotel hallway rug then froze. He retreated back into his room, slowly and quietly, as if he didn't want anyone knowing he was even thinking of leaving. _Maybe she wants to be alone, maybe that's why Isabelle left to hang out out Simon_, Jace thought to himself. He looked around his empty room. _But I don't want her to be alone. What if she's too sad and just asked Isabelle to leave because she didn't want to be taken care of? _Jace groaned then threw himself onto his bed, face down.

"You're such an idiot," He mumbled to himself then almost rolled off in shock at the unexpected knock. He got up and opened the door, without checking to see the peep hole. He cursed at himself in his mind. Jordan had been warning him about that, telling him that he better be more careful or he might get taped to a chair and molested by a fan. Jace shivered when Jordan said it and Jordan pointed, saying, 'exactly'. Confused, Jace stared at Clary before him. Did he summon her to his room with his mind?

"Hey," She said, holding the room service menu. "I'm starving and I'm about to order an embarrassing amount of food. I didn't want them thinking it was all mine soo wanna join?" She held it up.

* * *

><p>"You eat like a baby dinosaur," Jace told Clary as they sat on her bed, eating. She had ordered a pizza, a cheeseburger, fries and a dessert.<p>

She gave him a look. "You can't say things that Ashton Kutcher has said then make it sound like you've made it up on your own," She said, her mouth full.

Jace scrunched his nose. "That doesn't mean it doesn't pertain to you. Also, chew your food before talking. I saw something fly out of your mouth."

She smiled then did as told. She put her burger down and took a deep breath. Jace laughed.

"Getting full?" He asked and she swallowed her food.

"Yeah but that won't stop me," She said and took another bite. She looked to her left at the TV and Jace turned his head right to do the same. "I'm surprised you haven't been on one of these yet."

She looked at him and he looked back at her. "Next week, actually. Flying in for a day just for that and a radio interview in the morning."

"Oh," She said, smirking. "Are you ready for it? This late night show, I mean. Are you going to be professional or charming?"

"I'm pretty sure I'm gonna go with both," Jace responded and she nodded. "I will be charmingly professional."

"Right," She said, resisting to laugh. Her smile fell too quickly for Jace not to notice.

"Is everything alright, Clary?" He asked, and she froze for a moment then proceeded to dip her fry in ketchup.

She cleared her throat a little. "I actually am." She peeked at him behind the stray hairs that escaped her messy top bun. "I know it may say something awful about me but I'm a little relieved about Dylan, um, asking for some distance between us." Jace nodded. "We don't have to talk about him. I know you two only became friendly with one another today and me talking about him would just be -"

"I want to know about him," Jace said, not wanting to make eye contact. He swirled his fry in the ketchup they were sharing. "He's a big part in your life. I'd like to know what he means to you."

Clary looked at Jace as he finally directed his eyes towards her. She was trying to see if he meant it, if he really wanted to know despite the fact that the night before he was punching Dylan in the face. But she saw it, the opening that he was creating for both of them to finally speak on what they've missed so she smiled a little and stared to recount her and Dylan's relationship.

She told him how Dylan had patiently waited for Clary to be his friend. How he tried many times to get Clary to trust him - but since Clary didn't trust Derek, she thought his little brother would be the same. She spoke of when she realized that Dylan liked her and she liked him back. She knew she cared for him as a best friend and explained how it took them a while to date because she was afraid to ruin their friendship. She spoke of the couple times that they broke up and got back together because sometimes being in a relationship brought up complicated things like jealously - causing them to lose a little of their friendship. And finally, she told Jace of their fight before Dylan left for LA. She told Jace how she attacked Dylan after finding out that it wasn't Jace fault completely - even though he threw the first punch, which she does blame him for. 'I mean, look at his face,' She said and Jace chuckled, making her push him off the bed. Then she told him of how Dylan realized that he needed to part from her for his own sake. Then with a deep breath, she expressed how she finally felt okay because now he could finally be happy because he was distancing that part of himself from her.

She looked up at Jace and he nodded, understanding. She pursed her lips together, knowing that even though she was telling Jace that Dylan realized that they couldn't be together, she would never tell him _why._ Clary gulped seeing this hidden reason stare right back at her.

"I really wish I hadn't punched him," Jace said, putting away their plates on a table. "Or that we could've talked about this earlier so I wouldn't have punched him."

"Or maybe, you should really just stop punching people," Clary suggested.

"Well, that's just not fun," Jace said, sitting beside her. She laughed and the two leaned against the head board, their legs out before them, as they watched TV. Jace let a few moments pass between them until he said, "Those two girls you mentioned." She looked at him. "The ones from last week back home in London. Those were, uh, set up dates."

Clary was ready to ask what he meant then she closed her mouth. "Oh," She said, finding her voice. "You mean PR dates?"

"Yeah," He said, looking away from the TV and searching her expression. "I know, it's -"

"No, it's," She thought a moment so she wouldn't upset him with a wrong word. "Business. And for your own benefit. I get that. I mean, Luke used to have those. Because you know, he was the only quote unquote single one."

Jace nodded. "Yeah. I'm already seen as this -"

"Slut bag?"

Jace narrowed his eyes. "Sure. Slut bag. So, management thinks we might as well play that up."

"Do you have a Dylan?"

"Um. I don't. I haven't found a real connection quite yet. Almost there sometimes but not completely."

Clary nodded. "They aren't all PR dates, are they?" She asked and he looked away.

"No, sometimes I really am just a, um, slut bag," Jace said and Clary laughed, pushing down the lump in her throat that she hated was there in the first place. "I had a PR date tonight actually."

"You did? But you were with us the whole time," She said and he nodded. "Oh." She looked down at her hands. "Are you allowed to do that? You know, cancel?"

"Sure. I mean, it gets the other camp mad but what can they do?" Jace looked at his own hands as well. "I mean, this was set up months ago. They shouldn't be too mad we cancelled this whole PR stunt. It was only going to be for a night. Not a whole fake relationship."

"Right," Clary said, pursing her lips together. "Do you have any soon?"

Jace looked at her. "No. I've been declining everything. The ones from last week were scheduled a while ago and I decided those were the last ones. Well, this one was supposed to be the last one but," He shrugged. "I couldn't miss the big show so I stayed."

Clary nodded then looked back at the TV so Jace did too. "I'm glad you stayed," She told him and he couldn't help but smile to himself.

"Me too."

* * *

><p>Jace rolled over in his bed and turned off his alarm. He blinked a few times and left one eye open, the right one closed as he checked the time. He held his phone above his face, ignoring the texts and emails that he had gotten over the night. He called someone and held the phone to his ear, his arm over his eyes now. He waited until his call was answered.<p>

"Get up, chum. We're getting coffee," He said, his voice scratchy and his words mumbled.

"Okay, maybe this was stupid of me to suggest," Clary said, rubbing her eyes as she stepped out of her room. She threw a beanie on, leggings, booties and a over sized sweater - all black. She had no intentions on trying to actually look nice.

"You made me promise three times," Jace said, stuffing his hands in the pockets of the black jeans that he threw on, along with a black sweater and gray beanie. "You literally said the words 'I will never forgive you for not -"

"Okay, I remember," Clary winced at the elevator lights as they stepped in.

Jace looked through his phone, clearing the emails and returning all texts as they walked out of the hotel. He guessed that it was too early for fans to be waiting outside but he looked around for good measure and was relieved to not find any. Clary was also looking through her emails so he opened his twitter app to do a quick run through on his mentions and feed. He stopped walking and Clary looked back at him.

"What's wrong?" She asked and walked back to him.

"This," He said, showing her the tweet.

_#JaceHerondale out with reality TV beaut. Click to find out which lucky girl was taken out to a late night dinner by music's newest British bad boy._

Clary held back a laugh at Perez Hilton's use of 'British bad boy' but decided not to let it out when she saw Jace's face of annoyance. She pointed at the picture Perez had put up of Jace.

"He put 'yummy' with an exclamation point right by your face," She said, not being able to hide her amusement.

"How did this happen?" He asked and then put a hand on the small of her back, leading her towards the closest Starbucks that they could already see. She watched as he walked and read the article. "A source says I was on a date at the late hours of the night." Jace shook his head. "Nobody even told me that they're going to be releasing this, this is such bullshit."

"But isn't it good? The publicity will still be there even though the date didn't happen?" Clary asked and Jace stopped walking to look at her.

"I mean, yeah."

"Then it's okay," Clary said, with a smile. "Now you don't have the hear the _reality TV beaut_ talk," She said, mocking the title. "Come on." She squeezed his hand quickly. "It's a good thing. Not that they defied your trust, but that you still get the press."

He nodded. "Yeah, you're right. I just hope Jordan and Maia weren't involved."

"Call them," Clary suggested and he gave a nod. "I'll be inside. Call them now, okay?"

"Yeah," Jace whispered and she opened the door with the ring of a bell. He turned around, eyes on his phone as he called Jordan, unable to notice the man with a camera clicking away on the other side of the street.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** I know the Clace is subtle but I wanted to showcase how comfortable these two are. Like I said, their friendship is going to be most important since that's where their love really is. It'll just go on and get better from here with them as they open up to each other.

I hope you guys liked the chapter! **Please let me know what you thought of the Dylan closure, the quick glimpse of Jonathan, Clace, Jace's PR stunts and that paparazzi man at the very end :) Reviews & feedback, please!** I'd love to read your thoughts on what's going on or what you noticed. Also, please let me know if you were able to read my author interview. I'd really enjoy fangirling over similarities.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you to everyone who reviewed, favorited and alerted!<strong> You all provide me with such happiness.

Shout out to **rippingbutterflywings, shannie83, Frazil-Silver, Guest (CiCi), DeathCabForMari, brightdarknessx, AKA SherlockHolmes, fanofanfic, TesaRose, rcs17, cfire27, firequeen8569, Riley207, kelpie169, belgian girl x, Emily1515, LOVERGIRL, imcrazyanditscontagious, Islandgirl4evR, Guest, amazing (Marlene), 5sos team Calum **and** xxo**! Thank you for the reviews, sincerely. They really do keep me going and focused on making this story a good one for you guys. I adore the feedback and it is so very motivating. Replies will be trailing in today, sorry if I can't get to them right away just yet.

Special shout out to **rippingbutterflywings & DeathCabForMari** for fangirling with me about my interview and being so encouraging. I've got such love for you girls. Also, **Islandgirl4evR** for being above and beyond supportive and just being a great person to talk to :)

**Frazil-Silver:** Thank you for your lovely review! You really had me smiling and saying 'noo, don't stay up for this' but grateful that you like the story enough to do so. You're awesome, thank you. I'm so happy you love it so much and were sobbing along with me about Dylan. Hope you liked this chapter!

**Guest (CiCi):** Yes, there's definitely a path forming for them :) Thank you for your review! And thank you so much for trusting me to not disappoint you, means very much to me!

**belgian girl x: **I sang that along with you. Thank you for your review and just being amazing as well. I'm so glad you love this story (and will forever) I appreciate it so much, so many thank you's!

**LOVERGIRL:** Thank you for your review! I hope you like this chapter :)

**Guest:** I'm so glad you love it! Thank you for your review and I hope you like this update!

**amazing (Marlene): **Thank you for your review! Clace is well on their way, there's just going to be a few more things they're going to need to discuss to make them even stronger. I hope you liked them in this chapter, they're very cute and I hope it provided some feels.

**xxo:** Thank you for your review! Glad you liked the chapter and thank youu for reading and keeping up with this story :)


	16. Blink & Breathe

**A/N:** I got the feels writing this chapter so I hope you guys do too :) Another A/N & thank you's at the end.

* * *

><p>"What did Jordan say?" Clary asked as Jace opened the door for her. Once Jace stepped inside and made his order, the two waited in silence as they stood beside each other, not wanting to talk about the subject in front of others. They stepped out into the breeze of an early LA morning. "Was he a part of it?"<p>

"No," Jace said, looking to his left at her. "He said Maia didn't know either. It's just one of those things that the Clave took liberties with."

Clary cringed. "Ah, yes. The Clave's _liberties_." She took a cautious sip of her drink then made a face since it was still too hot for her. "So, what happens now?"

"I'm not sure," Jace said, sipping his own drink. "Jordan said he'll let me know."

* * *

><p>"Holy shit," Isabelle muttered to herself.<p>

Isabelle sat in the middle along with Clary with Simon to her right and Jace on Clary's left. Isabelle had her legs crossed while Simon rested his right ankle on his left leg. Clary sat indian style and Jace rested his feet on the back of the seat in front of him. The four were seated in the second row of the middle aisle of Greek Theater, all looking through their phones. The red seats surrounding them while Jonathan and Alec talked on stage, their legs hanging off the edge.

At breakfast, Jordan discussed with the whole group what happened with the Clave, that they basically went ahead and sent a press article about Jace without anyone's permission. He also informed them that the girl Jace was supposed to be on a date with was going to the show with her friends. Jordan then slipped in that he heard that many celebrities were going to be showing up which led to everyone jumping on their phones to figure out just who would be there.

"Thee amount of A and B-list celebrities coming tonight is insane," Isabelle said, continuing to look through her phone. Simon raised an eyebrow then shrugged. He wasn't too concerned on who would be there tonight. He already had Isabelle to look at every day of his life. "You're friends with One Direction, yes?" Isabelle asked, leaning forward and Jace glanced at her.

He couldn't help but laugh a little. "Some more so than others."

"Zayn? Louis?" Jace nodded then tilted his head left to right. "Niall? Liam?" He did the same. "Harry?"

"Bingo," Jace said, looking back at his phone. "He's the more so than others."

Isabelle smirked. "Of course. The controversial dater. Do you two do slutty things together?"

Jace was looking at Isabelle and smiling. "I have no idea what that means."

Clary shook her head at the two as she finally looked through her mentions. She hadn't in days and she knew it was bad of her to look at what people may have been saying to her on her public twitter. She always had a private account ever since she joined the social media site. She learned early on about fangirls when she was dating Dylan and she patted herself on the back now for doing so since Jace had unexpectedly re-entered her life.

She saw the usual tweets - the ones that told her she was a bitch, a slut and to die. She ignored those as best she could so it wouldn't get to her but favorited the ones that told her that they thought she was talented and loved _The Elite Four_. Clary's eyes got slightly wide seeing more and more tweets about people 'shipping' her and Jace. She glanced at him for a moment, turning the front of her phone more towards Isabelle as she leaned back, away from him. She wondered if he was seeing these exact tweets.

She froze as Jace leaned towards her. The two made eye contact and he whispered, "What is shipping?"

She gulped. He was definitely seeing the same tweets.

"Whoaaaa," Simon said and Clary wanted to hug him for saving her. They all looked to him and he held out his phone. "Did you guys see this?"

Clary and Jace squinted and Isabelle gasped. They all stared at the pictures taken that morning when Jace and Clary got coffee. Clary looked to Jace and his eyebrows were furrowed.

"Did you see him?" Clary asked. "He must have been right across the street from us."

Jace shook his head, then sat forward, trying to remember. "No. I didn't see him. I was too focused on the article." He began typing on his phone to find the pictures for himself. Isabelle did the same and Clary leaned over to look along with her.

"It's bringing up the fact that Jace had his fake date the night before. If he was out so late, why was he up so early with Clary? And they're explaining who she is," Simon recounted.

"_She_ is Clary, remember that Simon," Isabelle said, shaking her head. "Gossip addict."

"It's mentioning how I said your name on the air for Z100," Jace said, quietly. Clary looked at him and he looked upset. "I fucked up big time on that one. It's coming back to bite us in the ass. I'm sorry."

Clary shook her head. "No, it's okay. They're just making it seem like something it's not." She saw hurt flash across Jace's face but it was gone as fast as it came. She was about to ask what was wrong but she yelped when Isabelle's nails dug into her hand. "Ouch," She mumbled, giving Isabelle a dirty look until a phone was shoved in her face. Clary's eyes took a moment to adjust but once it did, she saw that Isabelle had zoomed in on a picture. Clary had a lump in her throat. It was of her holding Jace's hand. Isabelle pulled her phone back then scrolled down to the next picture and showed Clary.

In that picture, she could definitely see _it_. The way Jace looked at her and the way she looked at him. She looked over her shoulder and he glanced at her. She turned away quickly and looked down at the red seat she was sitting on, her legs pulled up and the bottom of her shoes resting on the seat. The only thoughts running through her mind were asking why Jace was looking at her that way. Did he always look at her that way? And the way she looking at him - it was like all her jittery feelings were laid out there for the world to see. And the way they held each other's hand. Clary knew it was for only a moment - that she gave his hand a squeeze but she didn't realize at the time that Jace's fingers had held onto hers too.

"Oh, goodness," She said, putting her face in her hands.

* * *

><p>Jace and Clary didn't speak a word to each other. No words during their sound checks. No words walking to Jace's dressing room. No words as they relaxed listening to Trees by Twenty One Pilots before Jace's meet and greet. No words - even though they sat beside each other everywhere, comfortably. They even tapped their toes the same way as they sang along quietly to the song playing.<p>

_I know where you stand_  
><em>Silent in the trees<em>  
><em>And that's where I am<em>  
><em>Silent in the trees.<em>  
><em>Why won't you speak<em>  
><em>Where I happen to be?<em>  
><em>Silent in the trees<em>  
><em>Standing cowardly.<em>

Sitting across from them, on the couch from the other side of the room, Isabelle leaned her head on Simon's shoulder as he leaned his head back against the wall.

"I wonder when they're going to realize it," Simon whispered.

"Give them a couple nights of bonding, I'm sure they will," Isabelle reassured. "I mean, look at them. After seeing those pictures of themselves, they won't speak to each other but they won't leave each other's side." Isabelle sighed. She looked up at Simon. "They have that love that makes your heart hurt and you kinda want to cry from happiness that love is _that_ real but then you realize that they don't know that yet." She leaned back into the couch, slouching. "Then that just makes you want to cry because it's so sad that they are so stupid." She looked up at Simon, who watched her. "You know?" She shrugged. "Clary must have felt the same way with us. Seeing two people who love each other but just needed to see it themselves."

Simon smiled a little. "You know they're in love with each other?"

Isabelle looked forward at them. "I can feel it."

* * *

><p>Clary stared at the carpeted floor. It felt like words were on the tip of her tongue but just couldn't find their way out. She wanted to ask Jace why he was looking at her like that - but how does one ask that question? Certainly not blantantly. Or maybe they do, she thought.<p>

Clary sat up more on the couch her and Jace were sitting on. Did that picture capture something they couldn't see for themselves? Isabelle, Dylan and Jonathan's words about Jace swirled in her mind and it was giving her a headache. Her glance went to his phone as he lazily scrolled through Instagram. She averted her eyes so it wouldn't seem like she was invading his personal space. She leaned to her left, resting her elbow on the arm of the couch, her head propped up in her hand. She stared at the wall behind Isabelle and Simon and kept thinking of ways she could bring it up. Maybe -

She jumped when Maia said Jace's name and the two of them looked up towards the slightly opened door. Clary cursed herself for even responding to his name.

"Sorry," Maia said, seeing that they both got startled. "Jace, you've got a meet and greet in five minutes. Wanna start walking over?"

"Oh," Jace said, putting his phone away. "Yeah. I'll be right there."

Maia gave a nod and disappeared back into the hallway.

Clary looked at Jace and his eyes were already on her. She smiled a little and he did the same as he stood up. She looked back down at the floor and watched his shoes take a few steps. She held back a gasp as he crouched down in front of her, directly into her line of vision.

His expression was a little torn and it made Clary wonder if he was asking himself the same questions she was. She unknowingly held her breath as he looked down for a moment and the noise of everyone talking and the music in the background became too loud for her.

"Are we okay?" He asked, looking up at her. It was simple enough and she knew that wasn't what he originally wanted to say.

"We're okay," She told him. She didn't even ask why. His rigid posture relaxed a little. He gave her a smile that reached his eyes.

"Okay, good. I'll see you before the show," He said and stood up, out of her view. She didn't look up to watch him leave.

Clary stared at the ground and kept her glance there while thoughts ran through her mind. She shook her head a little and commanded herself to snap out of it. She took a deep breath then stood up, quickly, facing her left. She slammed her eyes shut as she crashed into someone and she knew the impact was going to throw her back onto her couch. She braced herself for it then opened her eyes when she felt hands grip her shoulders, helping her stand.

"You okay?" Jace asked, concerned.

Clary squared her shoulders, looking up. She ignored the fact that all she could smell was his cologne and she could literally feel his body in front of hers.

"Yes, sorry," She said and he stepped back.

"No, I'm sorry. I forgot my water," He said and she watched him take it. She said nothing and he looked down, leaving the room again.

Clary let go of the breath she was holding. Her head turned slowly as she looked across the room, hearing Isabelle's laugh echo. She glared.

* * *

><p>Jace stepped out of the room and exhaled. He finally felt like he could breathe. He caught up with Maia and Jordan, who were down the hallway, with a few jogged steps. He stood beside them as they spoke schedules and how they were going to arrange the celebrities to meet Jace and <em>The Elite Four<em> since they had to get on the bus and leave for another city right after the show.

"We'll just have to do it before, there's some time," Jordan said, looking down at Maia, to his left.

"Yeah, there's about an hour," Maia said, looking at her planner that was always attached to her hand. "An hour after too if we need it."

Jordan nodded then looked over Maia's head at Jace. "You okay?" He asked.

Jace's head went up. "Yeah."

"Are you sure?" Maia asked, looking at him now.

Jace gave a small smile. "I'm okay."

Maia and Jordan looked at each other and Jace rolled his eyes. They didn't believe him but then again he wasn't really putting any effort into lying. He completely tuned out their conversation as he twisted his almost empty water bottle, the plastic crinkling beneath his fingers. He didn't even know why he went back in there to get it. There was barely any water left but Jace wanted to see Clary for one more second. He didn't want to leave her without so much as a glance from her. He had been trying to read her since they saw those pictures but she barely looked at him. They surely didn't speak to one another. He was wondering if the same thing that was gnawing at him was bothering her.

It wasn't so much the pictures that were bothering Jace. He felt a little embarrassed that the whole world could see the way he looked at her. More than a little embarrassed, actually. It showed in his eyes that he had love for Clary, but that wasn't really a secret. The _in love_ part was the secret. But it wasn't even that that bothered him. It was the tweets that he saw before Simon found the picture. It was the tweets that called Clary names and the ones that threw hate at her. It made Jace sick. He wanted to punch himself in the face because he had started it. By associating himself with her on the air that one morning, he was drawing attention to rumors that could start. He had been so caught up in thinking about her reaction to people thinking they were a couple that it didn't register in his mind just how much negative attention this could bring her. What being _associated_ him could bring her. He knew for a fact that if he were to go look at social media tonight, there would be even more hate when the pictures went completely viral over the course of the day.

He sighed as he turned the corner, getting closer to the meet and greet room. He hated himself for being the reason that this was happening to Clary. He hated the fact that the closer he would get with her, the worse it would get. Finally, he hated himself the most because he knew the guilt wasn't going to stop him at all.

* * *

><p>"How am I supposed to play the piano in these?" Clary asked, looking down at her shoes. Magnus told her he ordered stilettos for her to wear and he wanted them 'on<em> that<em> stage, on _you_ tonight'. Too weary to say no, Clary did as told and now she was finally thinking of the consequences.

"You'll learn," Isabelle said, in her own stilettos.

"Yeah, but you take your shoes off and you have a drum set to save you," Clary muttered, sulking.

"Just tell Magnus that Alec said you could take them off for your parts," Jon said and looked to Alec, grinning.

Alec got shifty-eyed and Clary, at the right end of their line, looked to her left at Alec, two people away.

"Am I missing something?" She asked.

"Oh yeah," Simon said, looking at Alec, being the other end of their inconvenient line. "She was getting fought over, she doesn't know."

Alec looked to Clary. "There is nothing to know."

"Alec has a crush," Isabelle told Clary and Clary glared at Alec.

"How dare you lie to me, that's _not_ nothing. Everyone knows but me and you just say it's nothing. I am offended. I am hurt. I am -"

"He asked me to hang out," Alec blurted out and everyone looked at him now.

"What? You didn't mention that," Isabelle said as they turned the corner.

"Ha! Feel the burn," Clary pointed at all of them. They ignored her.

Alec shrugged. "Now everyone is on the same page." He leaned forward and looked at Clary. "Happy?"

Clary rolled her eyes. "Everyone knows. There is nothing I know that nobody else does and for that -"

"I'll buy you food tonight," Alec interrupted.

Clary smiled big. "I'm happy."

Simon pulled open the door and the music blared into the hallway. The five of them stood there and slowly walked in. Jace's large dressing room was completely full. They stood at the door like lost children with shocked expressions. They were surrounded with celebrities. Some saw them and merely looked away, not knowing who they were. Some were friendly and gave friendly smiles.

"You guys!" Jordan yelled over the club music playing in the room. He waved them over and they made their way, squeezing through the mass of bodies. Being at the end of the line, Clary held Isabelle's hand in front of her, keeping her eyes on the ground so she wouldn't step on someone important - and bitchy. She looked up and saw him through the crowd. Jace was speaking to a blonde. The _reality TV beaut_ - Kaelie Whitewillow. She laughed at something he said and he smiled. A smile that reached his eyes then he saw them walking over, and he searched for her eyes. She smiled slightly and gave a nod. He did the same in return.

* * *

><p>Jace looked away from Clary then found Kaelie staring at him, with a smirk.<p>

"What?" He asked.

She looked down at the snack table they were standing beside. "Now I see why you blew off our date," She said, then inclined her head to the left. "You have a girlfriend."

"Oh," Jace said, shaking his head. "No, she's not my girlfriend."

Kaelie laughed now. "Well, something's going on between you two." Kaelie took a chocolate and ate it. "Did she ask you not to go?"

"No, she didn't know until after," Jace admitted.

Kaelie glanced at him, her eyes amused. "Oh." She looked away and Jace waited for her to say what she was thinking. "So _you_ like her?" Jace was silent. "I should take a picture with her. So we can squash any rumors that we don't like each other. You know, since you were on a date with me last night," She said, with a wink. "Then woke up with her." Kaelie faced Jace, away from the table. "As it seems."

Jace shook his head. "Are you always so publicity-minded?"

Kaelie looked at him seriously. "I'm famous from reality TV, babe. I have to do what I need to." Jace looked down. "You should appreciate this time before it gets too crazy for you. Because let me tell you, this is all the beginning. And I have a feeling you're gonna be around a while." Jace looked at her, sternly then away as she called over Clary.

Clary walked over and looked between the two of them. Kaelie handed Jace her phone.

"Jace, can you take a picture of us?" Kaelie asked, sweetly.

Clary's eyes got wide. "Me?"

"Of course!" Kaelie said, standing beside Clary. "I saw videos of you perform last night at The Roxy. You're amazing." Kaelie stood beside her. "Plus, this will push away any rumors that we don't get along," Kaelie said, loud enough for only Clary to hear. She leaned back a little from Clary. "Wait, unless you'd like the publicity of a feud? I'm okay with that."

Taking a moment to realize that she was serious, Clary shook her head. "No, I think being friends is a better look."

Kaelie's lips pulled into a smile. "Great, I think so too." She put an arm around Clary's shoulders. "Ready, Jace?" Jace gave a curt nod. Clary saw that he didn't look happy.

Jace snapped the picture then looked down at the phone. Kaelie was grinning. A fake grin that she had perfected. Clary was smiling sweetly, as she always did. He looked back up at them and Kaelie was talking Clary's ear off. Jace's jaw tightened as any hopes of getting Clary out of this media mess had completely vanished.

* * *

><p>Clary felt dizzy as she sat beside Jace on the tour bus. He looked just as exhausted as she felt. After meeting everyone in the packed room, they were rushed to the stage and everyone rushed outside of backstage. The show seemed to go by quicker than the first one they played at the Greek Theater and it seemed to be that they were all being pushed in too many directions. Jace was forced to stay backstage as they performed. They were forced to sit with the famous people during Jace's show so they weren't able to even enjoy his music. By the end of it, they all ran into their tour bus just to get some peace and quiet.<p>

They ate in silence and the silence followed Clary and Jace to the back. With no words spoken, Jace lifted his chin towards the movie crate and Clary chose _Dazed and Confused_, popping it into the DVD player. She hugged her legs and Jace sat with his feet flat on the floor. He barely moved since the movie started and Clary wondered if something was wrong or he just was too tired to move.

She turned to face him, away from the TV and he looked at her. His eyebrows went up in concern, very slightly. He didn't seem to have the energy to make them go up very far so it was subtle.

"Jace," She whispered. She cleared her throat to talk a little louder. "Um. Those pictures of us. The ones of us this morning, the ones where we're looking at each other. What were you-"

"I'm glad it shows on our faces that we care deeply for one another," Jace interrupted her, talking to her in an unusually tense tone.

Clary forced herself to take a breath. She had stopped breathing when he said it. "Oh. Yeah, I'm glad. Really glad," She said, gulping. "So glad."

"Me too," Jace replied. He said nothing else so Clary turned away, looking back at the TV.

Jace shifted in his seat and the leather made a noise beneath him. He stared at the back of Clary's head and closed his eyes slowly. Whatever it was that Clary was going to say, whether it was good or bad, he wasn't ready for the chance that Clary would say something he didn't want to hear. Not after she said the words 'they're just making it seem like something it's not' just that morning. So his mind told him to diffuse the question completely. He opened his eyes and Clary hadn't moved. She wasn't stiff, still relaxed. She was still breathing normally. She seemed completely unfazed. His eyes went back up to the movie, thinking he had made the right decision to interrupt her.

Clary blinked and breathed. Blink and breathe. She had to concentrate on doing so, telling herself over and over to act like his dismissive statement didn't hurt her. But it did. And she was surprised. She felt like the floor was pulled from underneath her when he didn't even say much at all. Nothing to hurt her at least. But why did it hurt? Clary resisted the urge to look down, she focused on keeping her body seemingly relaxed.

Clary gulped. From the way she could feel her heart cracking within her chest at a few simple, yet true words, Clary knew. Clary let herself look down for a moment as the thought became clear in her mind. As a quick play of memories of what had happened during the day made her realization painfully obvious, Clary looked up as it took away the fog in her mind. She blinked as she realized with alarming certainty - she had feelings for Jace.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Finallyy Clary sees it! Okay, I know that in the last chapter I said I'm going to focus on their friendship and I still am. Their friendship is too important in this story and while they work on what they've missed in each other's lives, you'll be able to see more of their past and how they were as kids.

I do hope you enjoyed all the Clace in this chapter! Like I said, I had so many feels writing this. Let me know if you guys did too. **Please let me know your thoughts on what happened! Reviews & feedback, please :) **I'd love if you guys fangirled with me, haha.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you thank you to those who reviewed, favorites &amp; alerted!<strong>

Shout out to **Guest, TesaRose, firequeen8569, belgian girl x, EmFinch, Arcoirizada, polarizedlife, ClaceAndPeeniss4eva, LOVERGIRL, monkeygirl1425, VB20, Emily1515, Frazil-Silver, lindsayhonaker, 5sos team Calum, Guest (CiCi), brightdarknessx, Jling, obliterating the oblivion, xxo, fanofanfic, rippingbutterflywings, DeathCabForMari **and** TheSSClace**!**  
><strong>

Thank you so much for leaving reviews & motivation for this story. I try to write Clace moments with the feels for all of you. Since I'm posting this chapter late (where I am) I won't get to reply to everyone tonight but tomorrow, I'll definitely be replying!

**Guest:** Thank you for your review! You're so kind to let me know that you think the story is well written :) and I'm glad that you are liking the story!

**belgian girl x:** You're so awesome, sincerely. So happy you think it's amazing! Thank you for your review!

**LOVERGIRL: **Of course! Thank you for the review!

**VB20: **Thank you for your review! I'm really glad you loved the chapter :)

**Frazil-Silver: **I love that you enjoyed the chapter so much. I'm definitely with you on getting excited for them to be on the same page but I hope you liked reading about Clary and her realization in the mean time :) Thank you for your review!

**Guest (CiCi): **Thank you for your review and for commenting on my author review! I'm still so excited about it, haha. I hope you liked this chapter :)

**xxo:** Glad you liked the chapter, thank you for your review and the support!


	17. Gravity

**A/N:** I'm sorry for my longer than usual update lapse. It's been happening more often and I apologize. It's that busy holiday season and the on going battle with writer's block some days. Public thank you for _**DeathCabForMari**_ for always battling through it with me. But I do have a long chapter for you guys :) and long A/N's too, so please bear with me!

First, I hope you guys remember _**kelpie169**_ because I mentioned her many times in the past couple chapters. She wrote a review for my other TMI story,** As Lovers Go**, on her website. She's awesome. Always and forever. If you wanna check out the story spotlight, the link is in my bio.

Second, I wrote this fabulous one-shot called **Bloom** with the lovely and wonderful_** rippingbutterflywings**_. It is hilarious. Well, it was to us and we were laughing the whole time we were writing it. If you wanna check that one-shot out, please do and let us know you think! The link to it is in my bio or you can find it posted under her stories.

Third, I wanted to share how long this story will be, chapters wise. I've been getting a couple inquiries about it and I don't mind sharing. This story is going on for a while. I wanna play out all the possible story lines that it could have, so this story is probably only half way in. Maybe a chapter or two ahead of half way. So **this story will probably be in the late-20's, early 30's (maybe mid 30's) chapter range**. So please do not fret about Clace, this story isn't ending any time soon so you'll get much more of them :)

There's only one song used in this chapter and it's **Gravity by Sara Bareilles.**

This chapter is a bit on the emotionally heavy side just because of Clary's thoughts after realizing she has feelings for Jace but I hope you guys enjoy it!

* * *

><p><em>Clary turned a sharp corner in front of the tour bus and pressed her back against the cold metal. She was breathing heavily and closed her eyes as Jace said, loud and clear, his voice echoing in the parking garage. "Ready or not, here I come!" He screamed after he finished his countdown. Clary could hear her own breathing loud and clear in her ears and she hoped it wasn't half as loud as she thought it was. She couldn't hear his foot steps - that's what made him so damn good at hide and seek. But so was she. The two had practice hiding in places they shouldn't be - like in closets while their parents fought. She opened her eyes and dared not to move at all. She took short, quick breaths just so her chest wouldn't move too much. She was frozen. Her eyes darted left to right, down under the buses in front of her and up, just to make sure, after that one time Jace found her from on top of a bus and she screamed bloody murder.<em>

_Clary's eyebrows furrowed in concern. It had been too long for Jace not to find her. The garage wasn't too big and they only could find ways to hide within the buses but she couldn't see him at all. She kept her eyes on her left side. No shadows. She turned to her right and in her face, Jace whispered, "Boo."_

_She screamed and threw herself back. A pain shot through her back but she ignored it as she threw the side of her left fist into the bus. She cursed and Jace laughed, falling onto the floor. She groaned then leaned down to push him, rolling him over and over. It didn't stop his fit of laughter but it entertained Clary enough that the shock of getting scared and the anger subsided._

_"Okay, stop. Please stop," Jace said, holding his arms out in front of him. She did and he jumped to stand up. "I can not believe you didn't hear me. You must be losing your hearing."_

_Clary rolled her eyes and began to walk away. "No. You've just gotten better at being creepily silent. It's awful."_

_"Let's play again," he suggested, following her._

_"No, it's unfair and I'm tired of playing just so you could scare me."_

_"But that's the whole point of the game," Jace said, standing before her so she would stop walking._

_"Not to me. Find someone else," She said, crossing her arms._

_"There is no one else. You are the only for me, Clarissa," Jace said, with a childish grin and she was unamused, not smiling back. "Not only for tag."_

_She glared. "Shut up. You're an idiot."_

_"Well then, for snogging. You are the only one for me for snogging," Jace said and Clary shoved past him, walking towards the door._

_She scoffed. "Well, who else will you find to snog? We're the youngest ones on this bloody tour."_

_"I could go older."_

_"The closest to age to us is our mothers and that is truly atrocious," She muttered._

_"Ohh! Atrocious. What a word!" Jace jumped up and down, behind her._

_"You're truly a pain in the ass today, you know that? What's with you?"_

_Jace stood before her again. He could almost see the steam coming out from her ears. He smiled again and leaned in to kiss her, hands on her face and everything. She made a sound of annoyance but Jace waited until she kissed him back._

_When Jace pulled back, Clary gasped. It was Jace in front of her. Not child Jace. The 22-year-old version of Jace. But he didn't seem to notice as she stepped away, looking down at herself. She was no longer 9-year-old Clary. Not getting much time to process it, Clary's hand was taken by his and he led her, walking towards a door. He threw it open and Clary's eyes squinted as they entered a white room full of white smoke. She sniffed. It was marijuana smoke. Then suddenly, Jace was gone._

_Clary walked forward, waving the thick opaque smoke away. She walked past a black table, white sprinkled all around it - the residue of cocaine. She could hear her mother's voice. She walked to the other side of the dressing room. The smoke disappeared around her as she saw her mom and Luke, talking closely to one another. Her mother looked happy. Clary smiled a little at it. Then her smile immediately fell away as she turned to her left at an opened door with a bed in it. It was her father sitting at the edge of it, his face covered by the back of a blonde woman's head. He had his hands on her unclothed back as she straddled him. Clary's breath caught and the door slammed in her face._

Clary's eyes snapped open. Her heart was beating fast and it took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the light that was on in her bunk. She closed her eyes, trying to control her breathing. She felt like her heart was trying to escape from her chest. She was alarmingly warm and she kicked her sheets off. She put her hands over her face.

She was tired of the dreams about memories of the past. It was draining her while she slept and they seemed never ending. She always woke up disturbed. Her dreams were always ending with a punch to her gut and a pull at her heart. And it had only been a couple days.

She looked to her right to see Jace in his own bunk, his own reading light on. He was trying not to look but she saw him glance at her.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

She nodded then searched around her head for her phone. She found it under her book. "What are you doing up? Its 4 in the morning."

"Just having trouble sleeping. Still a bit jet lagged or something," he mumbled. "But I'll try." He put his book away and paused for a moment. "Are you sure you're okay? I can stay up if you can't get back to sleep."

She looked over at him. He was sitting up in his bed, the top of his hair touching the ceiling while he leaned back on his forearms, holding him up. He looked at her intensely. She knew he was trying to see if she was lying and really needed someone awake with her. She shook her head and he laid back slowly, keeping his eyes connected to hers, seeing if there was a flash of not being sure.

"I'm okay," she whispered.

He nodded then she closed her eyes after reaching above her to click her light off. She waited a few moments before she said, quietly but clearly, "Jace." Then she heard a click from her right side and she knew he finally turned his light off. But they both didn't move to pull the curtain to cover their faces from one another. Clary settled her head into her pillow, trying to find sleep again. She turned onto her left side when all she could find were thoughts.

How could she have not known? How could she not have realized that what she felt for Jace were actually _feelings_ and not just comfortableness? She should have known but Isabelle's words came ringing back to her, comforting her that maybe she was never given a chance to differentiate.

_But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that maybe you can't even see that you are in love with him because you might not know the difference._

Isabelle's words should have made her realize it right there. Even Jonathan's own words should have made her question it more than making her only think about it. Jonathan told her, "_I'm offended if you think I didn't know Jace was in love with you. You may not have seen it because that's how Jace always was with you. I'm kind of wondering when Jace realized he felt more than just your best friend._" Clary moved her head forward to lightly hit it against the wall. She sighed then froze, hoping Jace didn't hear her. She relaxed when he didn't say anything.

Then Dylan's words. Without Dylan, she would have never been able to realize it. Which only made her feel worse. Did he really have to get his heart hurt _again_ by her just so she could open her eyes? Was it wrong of her to see her feelings for another person because of her lack of feelings for Dylan?

She realized that what made Dylan realize that they would never be together must have been seeing 'it'. An 'it' that he directed towards her and Jace. But how did he know? How was he so sure that they were _it_? Dylan was sure enough that he let her go to Jace, telling her that when she did see it, not to be afraid to go for it.

What if Jace didn't know that they were _it_? Was Jace thinking that they were comfortable with each other just as she thought before she made the painful realization? Obviously he might have not seen her that way, judging from what he said earlier that night after she brought up the pictures.

Clary clutched her pillow, her thoughts swirling around in her mind, clouding it and making it feel like it was going to burst open. She was asking herself questions over and over while the fear of him not thinking of her the same way creeped into every thought. When sleep finally reached her, she only knew one thing for sure. She would never be able to ignore these feelings around him.

* * *

><p>"Ma-maaa!" Jonathan yelled into the front facing camera on Clary's iPhone. After breakfast, the group went to the back to call or facetime their parents. Clary shoved Jonathan so he wouldn't take up all the space as their mom beamed at them.<p>

"Hi, Jonny-boy," She said, waving. "How are you two doing? Clarissa, have you been having fun?"

"Yes, we've -"

"Clarissa made two boys fight over her," Jonathan interrupted and Clary side-eyed her brother.

Jocelyn inclined her ear towards the phone. "I'm sorry, I think our line may have disconnected for a second because I just heard you say that _Clary_ got two boys to fight over her."_  
><em>

Jonathan fell over in laughter and Clary pushed him until he fell to the ground with a thud.

"I did not make them fight," Clary told Jocelyn.

"Jace gave Dylan a black eye," Jonathan said, sitting on the couch now, appearing on the screen.

"Clarissa!" Jocelyn said, with a gasp. "You saw Dylan? Jace hit him? Was Jace jealous again? What happened and why? Clarissa."

"Why am I the one getting in trouble here? I did nothing. It's these _boys_ with their testosterone," Clary said, pointing to the right of her.

Jocelyn giggled when she distinctly heard Jace's voice say "Sorry!" in the distance.

"Okay, you two. I have to get back to work," Jocelyn said and the two waved. "Call me again soon."

"Bye, Ma," Jonathan said, then disappeared.

Clary rolled her eyes at her brother as Jocelyn smiled at her daughter. "Love you, Mom. Tell Luke we say hey and love him too."

"Love you, Clarissa. Keep having a good time out there, okay? Except no more starting fights. What did you do? Kiss one?"

Clary's eyes turned into slits. "Have a good day at work."

Jocelyn laughed. "Okay, I get it. Text me the answer. Bye, Clary." Jocelyn waved.

* * *

><p>"Sorry?" Stephen asked and Jace turned back to his screen.<p>

"Oh, no. That was to Jocelyn about me -" Jace stopped himself then shook his head. "Not important. How's the office?"

"Running," Stephen said with a smile. "Maia has been sending me videos of your performances. Amazing job, Jace."

Jace gave a nod. "Thank you, father."

"How is everyone doing?"

"Good," Jace said, looking down for a moment. "They're good. It's been going by really quick. Faster than any other tour and just more stuff in general. It's been -"

"Crazy?" Stephen asked, grinning now. "I'm proud of you, son. It has taken a lot of hard work to get where you are now and it's paying off."

"This is quite sentimental for a facetime," Jace said, and Stephen rolled his eyes. "Thank you, father."

"You're welcome, Jace. Now your sentimental father has to get going. Give everyone my love," Stephen said and Jace peeked at Clary, who put her phone down, done with her call. He put down his own when he and Stephen said their good-byes. He sat beside her with a thud and the two said no words to each other.

* * *

><p>"Are you eating well enough?" Simon's mother, Elaine, asked, on the phone. She wasn't up to speed with the iPhone yet.<p>

"Yes, Ma."

"Have you been sending Rebecca videos? She said she'll be showing me them soon."

"Yes, Ma."

"Have you been sleeping in the same room as Isabelle? Don't lie to me, Simon."

Simon snapped out of his fixed stare at the ground. "Mother!"

"Oh, so you are listening," Elaine giggled as her son settled back into his seat, a smile on his face.

"Miss you, Ma."

"I miss you too, Simon," She replied, the giggles fading away as she continued her questions.

* * *

><p>"How are you, Izzy?" Max asked, his mother beside him as she smiled at the screen.<p>

"I'm good," Isabelle said, sitting beside Alec, the two looking down at the laptop that rested on her legs.

"Is it cool? Playing the big venues?" Maryse asked.

"Too cool," Alec responded. "They're huge. Did you get the pictures?"

"I did," Maryse smiled. "I couldn't even imagine it being filled."

"The one we're going to today and from now on are supposed to be even bigger!" Isabelle said, tucking a hair behind her ear. "I wish you guys could be able to come to a show one day."

"Yes!" Max said, excited.

"Me and your father were talking about maybe flying out to a show or two before you come back," Maryse shared and the two siblings grinned at the laptop screen. They hadn't realized that they would miss their family as much as they did. In the past, they may have been spending weeks in different countries for summers or fashion shows, in Isabelle's case, but never without one of their parents. The homesickness finally set in for the both of them after a couple days of being too busy to even realize it.

Isabelle smiled sadly at the screen, squeezing Alec's hand beside her as she tried her best to ignore the pain of what she was feeling.

* * *

><p>After Jonathan ran from the back, he dove into his bunk and closed the curtain. He searched through his bag and pulled out an Altoids tin. Inside it was a small black plastic bag. It was discreet, which we appreciated when Sebastian gave it to him. He opened it and dropped the contents of it onto his bed. It was the weed that Sebastian gave him the first night they went to the club then beside it was a very small clear packet of cocaine. He gulped then held it in between his fingers, examining it in front of his face. He could still hear everyone talking to their parents but once he heard Clary stop talking, he put the contents back into the black bag and Altoids can. He stuffed it in his backpack.<p>

He didn't need it. He had his few nights of fun but those were just two nights out in LA. He told himself it was okay because he blowing off steam. He was taking the edge off of the pressure from being on that big stage for the first time in his life.

He didn't need it.

* * *

><p>Alec sat across from Isabelle and Simon as they talked about their conversations with their families. Jace and Clary left to catch up on more sleep as Jon did too, the bus just a couple more hours from it's destination in Seattle.<p>

"Did you see Jace and Clary?" Isabelle asked, changing the subject abruptly. "When they were sitting there?"

"Oh, yeah!" Simon said, shifting away from her so they could face each other like excited children. "There was definitely this weird vibe."

"They always have a weird vibe," Alec interjected.

"No, the weird vibe was with Clary only this time," Isabelle said, shaking her head. "It was like she felt uncomfortable by him for some reason and she didn't want either of them to move away from each other at the same time."

"That sounds a little familiar," Simon mumbled.

Isabelle gasped. "What if her feelings changed? What if she finally figured it out?"

Simon's eyes got wide. "You think? Could she have?"

Isabelle tapped her nose as she thought. "I mean, possibly. We have to ask her when she wakes up. Maybe something-"

"Do you know why Jon was out so late the other night?" Alec asked, and they turned to him.

"He went to the club, remember? To meet up with Seb-ast-ion," Isabelle said, making the name sound French.

"Isn't that weird, though? To meet up with a guy you just met and stay out so late?" Alec crossed his arms.

"Not for Jon," Simon said, with a shrug.

"That's true," Alec mumbled.

"Why? Are you worried?" Isabelle asked, seriously.

"It's just weird," Alec said and the two nodded, then continued with their conversation. He stared at his shoes. He could feel something off about Jonathan yesterday, he just wasn't sure what. He also wasn't sure if he was just trying to focus on someone else, or anything else, so he wouldn't have to think about the fact that he hadn't replied to Magnus about his offer to hang out. Alec sighed and the two across from him didn't look over.

* * *

><p>Clary stared before her at the empty arena. She looked at the floor section all the way up to the top. Key Arena in Seattle was the first arena venue of the tour. It was also the first arena that <em>The Elite Four<em> had ever stepped onto a stage in and the experience of being there had them all silent. Jace stood aside them, looking up at the venue, as if he couldn't believe it was real either. Clary watched as Isabelle walked to the edge of the stage then sat down.

There was no curse words uttered over the feeling that they had seeing the venue. There was no exclamations of joy. It was simply shock and it shook every single one of them. Clary watched as Isabelle hugged her legs against herself. Her eyebrows furrowed knowing that this was a position of comfort. She walked over and looked alarmed to see Isabelle's eyes had teared up. Isabelle put her index finger over her lips and Clary didn't say a word back.

Clary looked at her as if to ask 'are you okay?' and Isabelle nodded, mouthing 'I'm overwhelmed.' With that, Clary leaned her head on Isabelle's shoulder as the two looked up towards the ceiling, the walls surrounding them covered in seats.

* * *

><p>Jace looked over at Clary to his left. She was watching the band rehearse and she hadn't taken her eyes off of them. Jace followed Clary's glance and found her brother.<p>

"We never imagined this could even happen," Clary said, breaking the silence between them. "Thank you," She said, looking at him. He looked back at her and the two stared at each other for a moment.

"I wish this was my idea," Jace said, with a bit of a laugh. "I can't take the gratitude."

Clary shrugged a little. "I'm handing it to you anyway." She looked back up at the stage so Jace did too.

"Did Jon ever have a Dylan?" Jace asked and Clary shifted a little at the mention of Dylan's name from him.

"Uh," Clary nodded. "Yeah." Jace faced her. "Her name is Camille."

"What happened?"

"She moved to Europe for boarding school," Clary said, facing him now too. "They met at the school that Isabelle and Alec went to. Probably when we moved here but they were just friends until they got to high school. They dated about three years until she was sent off."

"Why was she sent off?" Jace knew he was asking too many questions but Clary didn't seem to mind.

"Um," Clary looked down for a moment. "She had a drug problem actually. All throughout high school. Her parents found out when it got bad one night and she was gone. Almost didn't have time for a goodbye for anyone."

"A drug problem," Jace said, to himself. "So, was Jonathan-"

"Involved with her problem?" Clary asked. He nodded. "Yeah. He was."

Jace looked back up at Jonathan, then gulped. Sebastian flashed in his mind and he was hoping that Jonathan didn't become too close with the club owner. Sebastian was known for a few things - drugs just being one of them.

"Oh," Jace said, looking to Clary, who had turned away from him already. "What happened after she left?"

"He just uh," Clary paused. "He had a hard time but he was able to find some closure with her. And to stop with the drugs. It was kind of tied to her so he didn't find a reason when she wasn't there."

"Did you like her for him?"

"I did and I didn't," Clary said, simply, as if it made complete sense to her to answer that way. "I understood that they loved each other and would have done whatever for one another. He loved her so much, we really shouldn't have been surprised to find out he was doing drugs too but he hid it so well. I got angry with her that she let him hide it from us when we supported her through whatever. But she loved my brother and would have done what he asked of her. She loved him but she loved her lifestyle too much. It dragged them both down. It became their downfall and it was hard for both of them. Love wasn't enough to save it, now that we think about it. It's hard to explain. It was too complicated with what was wrong or right to do." Clary looked at him as he stared at her while she spoke. "But nothing is ever really that simple with people, is it?"

Clary's glance found the floor and Jace continued to stare, not bothering to answer her question. They both knew the answer was that it was, and never would be, that simple.

* * *

><p>After they all finished with rehearsals, they headed towards the dressing room but Clary asked to stay behind for a few moments. She said she wanted to spend some time alone in the arena to play the piano. No one denied her of it and they left, making Clary's shoulders jump as the door closing echoed in the emptiness. She walked over to the grand piano, opening it and sliding her fingers over the keys.<p>

She closed her eyes and thought of a song to play. She wanted to laugh at herself out loud when she figured out the song. She should've known she had some type of feelings for Jace when this song made her bawl her eyes out. She pressed down on a key then prepared herself to play - for herself, for no one else, for a room that was empty.

She played a few keys then took a deep breath.

_Something always brings me back to you._  
><em>It never takes too long.<em>  
><em>No matter what I say or do<em>  
><em>I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.<em>

She squeezed her eyelids tighter, forcing herself to be aware enough of the music, rather than the lyrics she was singing, so she wouldn't get too lost in the words.

_You hold me without touch._  
><em>You keep me without chains.<em>  
><em>I never wanted anything so much<em>  
><em>Than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.<em>

Clary could feel herself getting angry. Angry over the fact that she had spent so much time, so many years of her life, to pretend that Jace didn't mean anything to her. That was he was merely a memory, someone of her past. Someone who didn't matter. She could feel herself become more angry realizing that really, he never left her. He always effected her life, whether she knew it or not. The feelings she had for him, made it impossible for anybody else to make her feel what she did for him. He had become such a part of her, it was as if his presence ran through her blood - unnoticed but present.

She had built a life for herself that felt like she was finally free of him. She felt like she was finally independent and on her own two feet, not needing his support or _him_, for her to be able to get through it. But he had come back and so quickly, all her hard work had broken apart. Clary's eyes opened as she heard herself play the keys a little too loud, too rough.

_Set me free,_  
><em>Leave me be.<em>  
><em>I don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity<em>  
><em>Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.<em>  
><em>But you're on to me and all over me.<em>

She could hear herself start to sound desperate as she sang. Not sure for what or a pleading to herself to stay strong, but she winced at her small voice and hated it.

_Oh, you loved me 'cause I'm fragile_  
><em>When I thought that I was strong.<em>  
><em>But you touch me for a little while<em>  
><em>And all my fragile strength is gone.<em>

After singing the chorus again, the anger began to make itself too known in her heart. She pressed down on the keys, preparing for the bridge, knowing that she wouldn't be able to hold herself back anymore. And for once on the tour, she didn't want to.

_I live here on my knees_  
><em>As I try to make you see<em>  
><em>That you're everything I think I need here on the ground.<em>

_But you're neither friend nor foe_  
><em>Though I can't seem to let you go.<em>  
><em>The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down.<em>

_You're keeping me down_

_You're on to me, on to me, and all over..._

Slouched over as if it took all her energy to let it go, Clary took a deep breath and sang out, playing the keys lightly again, softly.

_Something always brings me back to you._  
><em>It never takes too long.<em>

Her finger hit the last piano key and the silence filled her ears. She stood up when up when the silence got too loud for her and she whispered, "Damnit, Jace."

* * *

><p>Jace's eyes got wide. He watched Clary sing her heart out. He watched her go from angry to desperate then release it all. He watched as her fingers traveled across the keys and she sang with her eyes closed. He could hear the moments when her voice would break, the threat of tears behind them. He also heard her say, "Damnit, Jace." It was very quiet but he was sure of it. He also watched her walking towards the curtain he was hiding behind. He ran through the opened door then down the hall. He turned around then walked towards her, hoping that she would buy that he was just walking back to check on her.<p>

She walked out then looked confused.

"Just was coming to check on you," He blurted before she could ask.

"Ah," She said, nodding. "Well, I'm about to head back."

"Well, I'll walk you. Back to where I was."

"Okay?"

"Yes. Right." Jace turned around and walked beside Clary.

"Hey," Jordan called out, making Jace and Clary spin around. He was walking towards them with his head down.

Jace gulped. "That's not a good walk. That's a walk with news that is bad."

Clary looked up at him, worried then straight ahead at Jordan, who caught up with them.

"What's up, J? How bad is it?" Jace asked.

Jordan brought his eyes from the ground up to them. "I just talked to the Clave for an hour and they have this idea. I told them I didn't agree with doing this to you both but -"

"Both?" Jace asked. Jordan looked back down. "No."

"Jace," Jordan said, quietly.

"Are they serious? No," Jace said, shaking his head.

"Can you please tell me what's going on?" Clary asked, making eye contact with Jordan. "Why are you saying both of us?"

"The Clave," Jordan started. "They're asking if there can be an agreement between the two of you. It'll be between you two on however long it'll last or the ... conditions."

"Agreement?" Clary turned to Jace.

He turned to her and she could see in his eyes how adamant he was against it. "A relationship. A PR relationship."

Clary looked down then at Jordan. Jordan looked like he was caught in the middle. "How - why do they want this?"

"There was such good press and just good things said social media wise about you and Jace. The Clave thought it would be a good move and it would also get good press for _The Elite Four_," Jordan explained. "But it's completely up to you two on what to do. It's-"

"No," Jace said, forcefully. "No. This is already a bad thing for her that she's been out with me. It's only going to get worse if she -"

"Okay," Clary said, quietly. Jace spun to her.

"What?" He asked. "Clary, if you do this, it's going to hurt you more than me. And I don't want to take that chance."

"I mean," Clary said, looking from Jace to Jordan. "If it helps everyone out."

"It won't help _you _out," Jace told her. "It's not worth it."

"Everyone seems to really like the idea of you two," Jordan reassured him.

Jace turned to him, his hands becoming expressive with the frustration he was feeling. "Yes, right now. Right now, when we aren't official or there's nothing but friendship between us. Once you say we're _together,_ they're going to turn on her. That's how it works. Every time. It never fails."

"Jace," Clary whispered.

Jace didn't look at her but just said, with finality, to Jordan. "No."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Hmm, a PR relationship? **Let me know what you think!** There was a lot going on in this chapter so I'd really love to know what you thought about all of it, any of it. **Please be wonderful and leave some reviews, motivation & feedback, please :)** I hope this chapter makes up for my little absence there.

Hope everyone is having a happy holidays so far. Also, if anyone has finals this week, good luck! If you've already finished, you're freeee.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you to everybody that reviewed, favorited &amp; alerted!<strong> You are all lovely and always make feedback feel like early Christmas gifts so thank you so much.

Shout out to **brightdarknessx, Mollytamale, reemarie36, Guest, Islandgirl4evR, EmFinch, cfire27, Guest, rcs17, firequeen8569, shannie83, Guest, Damnjpg, Emily1515, Cheery Tropay Venturi, VampiressBeauty20, belgian girl x, lindsayhonaker, Arcoirizada, rosaskypeople, Guest (CiCi), Frazil-Silver, Riley207, LOVERGIRL, Guest, Guest, imcrazyanditscontagious, rippingbutterflywings, xxo, Jling, itsHerondale, Luckybrat452-494, Arelia Miles, CMLangdon, Guest **and** TheSSClace**! You are all so amazing. Really. You left 34 reviews for the last chapter and I can't thank you enough. I keep you guys in mind as I try to battle through those writer's block days. You all have my love. My replies to you guys will be trickling in during the day :)

**Guest:** Thank you for your review! The update wasn't as quick as the others but I hope you liked it!

**Guest: **Thank you for your review! The Clace is coming along, I promisee. Just trust me :) I wrote in the top A/N about the length of the story so I hope it make the Clace wait a little more bearable!

**Guest: **I'm so glad you loved the chapter and thought it was amazing :) thank you for your review!

**belgian girl x:** I am chanting Clace Clace Clace along right with you! I love your review, thank you for it! It's so kind and motivating. So happy you still love the story so much.

**Guest (CiCi):** I'm glad you liked the chapter, such a huge step for Clary to even be able to see it :) Thank you for your review, I hope you liked this one too!

**Frazil-Silver: **Thank you for your review! I loved that you loved it. I can't wait until the time comes that they talk about it, I'll try to make it wonderful for you guys. I hope you liked this chapter just as much :)

**LOVERGIRL:** Thank you for your review, I hope you liked the chapter!

**Guest:** Thank you for your review, it was awesome! They are really going through a lot. Their past and present are kind of mixing together and it's a little overwhelming for them. I completely agree when you say you hope that they can go through it together. And yes! Haha, they do know they have feelings for one another (finally) but it's just that part of the other knowing it as well. I hope you liked this chapter :)

**Guest:** Thank you for your review! Haha, the time will come :)

**xxo:** You made me smile because your review was so nicee. Thank you for leaving it! I hope this chapter didn't disappoint and that you liked it too. I'm also glad you fangirled along with me over Clary realizing her feelings, haha. I was/still am so happy she sees it.

**Guest:** Thank you for your review! When you left your review, I was actually in the middle of typing up the A/N & these replies, haha. I hope you catch the update right away and I hope you like the chapter :)


	18. We're Here Now

**A/N:** This chapter is shorter than the previous chapters I've posted. I was going to continue on but I realized the tone of the next chapter will be different from this one. Also because the chapter would've been too massive, haha. There are parts in the next chapter that I know I need to take time in writing so I hope you guys don't mind this quick update, shorter chapter thing instead.

Anyway, to the story! Another A/N & thank you's at the bottom as usual.

* * *

><p>"Jace," Clary called out his name as he walked a good distance in front of her. She began to speed walk and called him again, "Jace!"<p>

She knew he could hear her but after Jordan repeated his name pleadingly one more time, he stormed off and Clary followed him. They had turned corners after corners in the maze of hallways and Clary was sure that Jace was lost.

Clary sighed. She wished he had a first name that wasn't the same as her brother's. She huffed as she used it anyway. "Jonathan Christopher," She said, loud and clear. He finally slowed down to a stop and she could see him taking deep breaths. She rushed to catch up with him.

He just kept his glance at her floor, his shoulders hunched. She wanted to roll her eyes at his dramatics. She was the one who should be standing like that. He basically made it clear that he would be appalled to be with her. Well, she knew he meant for her own safety and reputation but the blow hurt nonetheless for a couple seconds. Now, she stood in front of him, her arms crossed in the fluorescent lit hallway.

"I don't want to talk about it, Clary. My answer is no," He told her, not bothering to look at her.

"Like hell we aren't going to talk about it," She muttered. "Why?" She asked, leaning her head down so he would make eye contact with her. He gave in and did. She could see how upset he was in his expression. "It's fine with me, Jace. I think this doesn't really -"

"It doesn't matter what you think, Clary. You don't know this life," he said, harshly and Clary stood up straight now, her crossed arms put down to keep from protecting herself.

"No, fuck that. We grew up in the same damn environment. I _know_ this life," She replied, angrily.

His resolve fell a little and he shifted where he stood. "That's not what I meant," He said, quietly now. "I meant this part of it. This whole new aspect of publicity and ... it's different from when we were kids."

"The game is played the same," she argued. "Let me do this."

"I can't let you -"

"You do this all the time."

"And I hate it," he said, looking up at her. "I hate it, Clary. I wish I hadn't gotten involved in this bloody mess at all. It's like being in a hell of strong perfumes and manicures that look like claws on these women, that pretend to have feelings for me. And I suck at acting like I like them. The only thing I can concentrate on is not looking disgusted at them." Jace pointed at himself. He was beginning to vent out of frustration now. "I can't act. I hate it and I suck at it. And they all act like they should be getting awards, looking like they are so in love -"

"I'm not going to be acting," she blurted out. He began to tilt his head and his eyes were a little wide. "Do _you_ need to act with me?"

He stared for a moment, blinking. He shook his head. "No, of course not."

"Then we don't have to pretend like we get along. We already do." She breathed in relief once he looked away and his suspicious expression left his face. She mentally slapped herself for almost selling herself out.

"Clarissa," he said and he sounded like he was pleading. "I do this because I have nothing to lose. The media already thinks something of me. They always have, ever since I was young. You and Jon escaped that and had your own lives away from all _this_. I don't want that life you guys have to be tarnished by what the public will take away from you."

"What do you mean you don't have anything to lose?" She whispered.

"I have no friends to be concerned with, Clarissa," He said, his arms outstretched. "My family is my father and manipulating situations like this is what he does on a regular basis. I have a family in my team - Jordan, Magnus, Maia, Raphael and Bat. They are the ones I grew up with as a teen and they were _paid_ to grow up with me. I don't get what you and Jon got. You two have something that's ... real. Normal. You have lives. This - this PR thing doesn't have to be a part of it." He composed himself for a moment, putting his hands on his hips, shaking his head slightly. "You have past relationships that are real. Your friends are people who learned how to become the people they are today by being normal. You two grew up being normal." He looked up at her, tilting his chin up. "I never had that and I don't want to be the one that has to take that away from you."

Clary looked at him, sadly. For the first time, she realized that Jace truly lived the saddest life out of the three of them. It may have been a glamorous lifestyle, extremely fortunate, but there was so much missing in his life that mattered. He never got to live outside of what they grew up in. He continued to be stuck in the spotlight, questioning what was real or not. He never got the chance to learn that the cycle of fame would end and that things would be okay when you escaped it. He was never given the hope to _know _that he could escape it and survive.

"It's going to be different for you now," She told him. Clary pushed away the thought of knowing that it would never be the same for them either. "You have us. Me, Jon, my mom, Luke, Isabelle, Simon, Alec. Hell, the Lightwoods too. And the Lewis women. We are here now."

Jon cracked a smile but tilted his head down. "Clary."

"And it doesn't matter if you're trying to protect us from this, to protect me from them - we're already _too _involved. You think we don't see things changing, Jace? We are far from Brooklyn or the Upper East Side. We are living in bunks and standing on the stage at arenas like this one, wanting to cry because we can't believe this has happened. We are already in this life, Jace. There's no turning back and this insanity has just started. You can only shield us for so long." She shook her head a little. "You can only shield me from this for so long." He looked up at her. "Look, people are going to be talking about us - that's a given. Anybody who is seen with you is going to be talked about. I think, in this case, The Clave is just trying to control the inevitable. Because if they don't manage us, the public will and they will ruin what is said about us for sure." He took in a deep breath and sighed. "Why not beat them and come at them as a stronger force?"

A moment passed between them and he raised an eyebrow. "Come at them? Please, Clary. This isn't a New York street fight in an alleyway."

She made a face. "Street fight in the alleyway? What life do you think I live? Am I a _Newsie_ to you?"

He groaned, rolling his eyes.

"And do you really think I'm that appalling that you don't even want to fake date me?" Clary asked, crossing her arms.

Jace's mouth opened and then he closed his eyes, putting a hand out. Clary stifled a laugh when it reminded her of Alec.

"No."

"There's that 'no' again."

Jace kept his eyes closed but she could see him scrunch his nose in annoyance. "Clary, you are completely taking it out of context-"

"Taking it out of context? When you heard the idea of us fake dating, you practically screamed 'no' loud enough for the whole arena to hear," Clary said, shrugging her shoulders. "I didn't realize that I was so disgusting to you."

Jace's eyes snapped open. "Clarissa! That isn't what I -"

Clary put her left hand out, looking alarmed at his loud voice. "Alright, calm down, _Les Misérables._ No need for the dramatics."

Jace's upset face disappeared and he looked blank. He stared at her. "Why. Why all the musicals?"

* * *

><p>The two left the hallway and found their way through the seemingly infinite hallways of backstage. While they walked, they kept silent, preoccupied with their own thoughts to entertain each other with casual conversation. Jace glanced at Clary at his left side, walking with her head up, looking forward, with furrowed eyebrows. He wondered what could be on her mind but he kept reverting back to his own thoughts.<p>

Everything he had said to Clary was true - he meant all of those things but another reason he had gotten so upset was because he didn't want a _fake_ relationship with Clary. If he was going to be with Clary, he wanted it to be real. He didn't want to pretend to bring her on dates, hold her hand or kiss her for the cameras. He wanted to be able to say that those moments were real with her - and now they were just going to happen because of publicity. He hated the idea. He wanted being with Clary to be as real as their friendship. He couldn't have the one real thing in his life possibly get mixed in with the facade of fame.

He glanced at Clary again. He didn't want to tarnish what they had. Not something this real.

* * *

><p>"Okay, let's just," Clary said, her hands on both sides of her head as she stared at the table in the middle of all of them, "get this done and figured out. Please."<p>

The moment her and Jace stepped into the room, everyone in the band, Maia and Magnus began throwing their ideas and opinions at them. There were people who were completely against it - Simon, Alec and Maia. There were people who were completely for it - Magnus, only. Of course. There was also the group that was unsure and didn't say much at all - Isabelle, Jordan and Jon.

"Okay," Clary said, loudly, putting her hands out. The talking everyone was doing over each other came to a halt and she looked at them. "How about we just don't announce anything? At least, officially."

Jordan leaned back and raised an eyebrow. "Interesting. Go on."

"If no one interrupts me, I'll be able to," She said, staring at him until he shrunk in his seat. "Basically, we don't say we are dating or that we aren't. We can just have a 'source'," she said, with air quotations, "that is going to say that they just know we're getting closer. I mean, this could just mean as friends or whatever but it's up to the public to view anyway. So me and Jace will just hang out, like when we got coffee the other morning - people thought that was something it wasn't."

Maia smiled at Clary. "This is good. This leaves you guys with no commitments to keep up with, you're just ... being yourselves."

"And you don't have to lie," Alec pointed out.

"But it's going to come to a point where we're bound to give an answer," Jace said, looking at Clary. "What will we say?"

"But we have time until then," Clary said, with a shrug. "This at least gets the Clave off our back about PR."

"If you ever need to jump ship," Jace said, leaning towards Clary. "You just say so and this will be over."

Clary looked around at the eyes at her before she replied in a smaller voice than she anticipated. "I can handle it."

"What about, um," Jordan started then he looked around at the group. "Kissing?"

Jace and Clary's heads snapped to face each other.

"I mean," Clary said, shrugging.

"Yeah, we have before," Jace said.

They all turned away from the two to look at Jonathan after he cleared his throat. He crossed his arms and kept his eyes on Jace, who looked down immediately.

"It's fine," Clary said, diffusing the situation. "That can also ... wait."

"We can hold hands," Jace said and Clary didn't look at him when she followed up his statement quickly.

She scoffed. "Can we though? You're so disgusted by me."

"I swear Clarissa, your untrue statements are becoming old," He muttered.

Jon sat forward. "You're disgusted by my sister?" He asked and Jace stood up, throwing his arms up.

"Enough, Morgenstern children!" He complained. "Meeting's over. Very good. Let's go on about our day," Jace mumbled to himself as he walked away.

Everyone began to disperse from the circle other than Jonathan and Isabelle, who sat with Clary. She watched as her brother stood up across from her then squatted down in her line of view. He looked up at her, asking, "Are you sure about this, Clary? This is big to get involved in."

She looked at him in the eyes and took a couple moments. She nodded. "I'm sure."

He gave a nod in reply then stood up, messing up her hair before he walked away.

Clary looked to her right at Isabelle.

Isabelle stared at her. She hadn't said a word during the whole conversation. Isabelle was unreadable and it was times like these that Clary tried her best to not make any eye contact. Clary knew Isabelle would be the only to see right through her.

Isabelle pointed behind her with her thumb. "Let's talk in the next room."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** There were mixed reactions to the whole PR idea and yes, it's happening =/ it had to. I hope Clary's reasoning to do it was clear and I hope Jace made his reasoning on not to do it clear as well. The next chapter will get more of a reaction from two of the ones closest to them - you already know one of those people is Isabelle. The chapter was kind of light, it's been a while so I felt like it was needed. Also, I know you guys were wondering what Jace was thinking while Clary said 'Dammit, Jace' and I promise, his POV will be explained in the next chapter too.

**Let me know what you think :) Reviews & feedback, please!**

**I wanted to note that those that leave feedback through PM's & reviews are SO awesome because you guys really tell me what you like about it, your personal thoughts or where you think it's going next. I LOVE that. Really. Those in-depth reviews/PMs are what get me so excited to write new chapters up so thank you!**

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you to those who have reviewed this story, favorited it andor alerted it! You keep me going which keeps this story going. Sincerely.**

Shout out to **rippingbutterflywings, Frazil-Silver, xxo, itsHerondale, Guest, LOVERGIRL, obliterating the oblivion, Emily1515, Guest, rcs17, Riley207, Islandgirl4evR, imcrazyanditscontagious, imcrazyanditscontagious, ScorpioGirl20, rosaskypeople, Wartermehloan, shannie83, reemarie36, Guest (CiCi), brightdarknessx, cfire27, phantomgal01, belgian girl x, CMLangdon, Arelia Miles, lindsayhonaker, ShadowAngel100 **and** Luckybrat452-494**! I said this up there but sincerely, I love the reviews you guys leave. I adore them just because you guys leave amazing reviews. I can't thank you enough. I'll be replying to you guys sooon through PMs :)

Shout to my musical soul mate **DeathCabForMari**, who sincerely has a huge impact on this story and my updating, just because she is always down to just sort through the future events of this story with me. Shout out to my lovely **rippingbutterflywings** for also letting me talk through this story with her and being a wonderful, entertaining friend and yes. They both get completely spoiled in what happens in the story but they continue to read and support me after chapters anyway, which is awesome of them.

**Frazil-Silver: **Thank you for your review! Thank you for your kind words, it really motivates me to know readers enjoy my writing. I hope you like this chapter :)

**xxo: **Aw, that's very nice but you really do! I appreciate the support so much. Lol, not weird at all, I loved your review. Thank you for leaving it!

**Guest:** I'm glad you liked the chapter! He is, he really wants her to not be involved with all of it, but her wanting to be a part of it makes sense to me in a way too. Also, yes, shout out to Alec for being aware of Jon's behaviors. He's a good best friend. Thank you for the review and for letting me know that you like the way it is written :)

**LOVERGIRL:** Thank you for your review! I hope you like the chapter :)

**Guest:** It really is! There's so many going on with Clary and Jace right now. Thank you for the review!

**Wartermehloan:** Thank you so much for your review! I'm so glad you like it & that you enjoy my writing :) I hope you like the chapter!

**Guest (CiCi):** I know :( what's going on with him is very worrisome and I'm glad you mentioned it. I hope they'll be okay too but I hope you like the thoughts they're having in this chapter. Thank you for the review!

**belgian girl x:** Thank you for your review! I'm glad you liked the chapter. I hope you liked the chapter and their PR plan :)

**itsHerondale:** Thank you for your past two reviews! I hope you see this in time. I was going to PM you but it didn't work so I'm sorry about missing you both times to reply but thank you so much for the reviews :)

**ScorpioGirl20:** I hope I didn't miss you when you read this chapter! Thank you so much for your review! I was replying but I saw that I wasn't able to PM message you back. I'm so glad you love the story so far & I definitely was thinking 'Clace forever and ever' when I read your review :)


	19. Hashtag Blessed

**A/N: **Hello! I hope everyone is enjoying their break & holidays :)

Shout out to **rippingbutterflywings** for beta'ing this chapter last minute! You are amazing, my dear. Thank you.

I asked her to beta this chapter because I'm at the 'non-stop coughing fits' part of my cold that I have right now and I just could not get editing done. But, I've got goood holiday spirit currently so coughing constantly will not stop that. Although, I'd prefer it to be gone in the next couple days.

Anyway, enough about my cold. The songs used in this chapter are:

**93 Million Miles - Jason Mraz**

**The Wind - Allen Stone**

Another A/N & thank you's at the bottom!

* * *

><p>Isabelle and Clary sat on the black couch in an empty dressing room. It was supposed to be for <em>The Elite Four<em> but, since the band always found themselves hanging out in Jace's, they decided not to use it. They sank into the cushions, both slouching as Clary's legs were pulled up Indian style and Isabelle's were stretched out in front of her. Since they walked into the room, the chill in the air was felt more than in the other room. They sat down and didn't speak. They merely made themselves comfortable and took a moment to be in silence together. Clary knew Isabelle had things to say to her, but it seemed that they were both enjoying the privacy and silence. Well, as much silence as they could get with a bunch of boys and Maia in the room next to them. The walls were paper thin, and they could hear everybody chattering, but mostly they could hear Simon. He was right at the other side of the wall, as if part of their conversation, sitting on a black couch identical to theirs, strumming his acoustic guitar.

Clary closed her eyes as he began to strum a song that she knew. She could feel Isabelle relax more into the couch as Simon started to sing to Jason Mraz's "93 Million Miles".

_93 million miles from the sun, people get ready get ready,_

_'cause here it comes it's a light, a beautiful light, over the horizon into our eyes_

_Oh, my my how beautiful, oh my beautiful mother_

_She told me, "Son in life you're gonna go far, and if you do it right you'll love where you are_

_Just know, that wherever you go, you can always come home"_

Clary took a deep breath as she pictured a memory. She could clearly see herself sitting alongside Simon on Isabelle's carpeted floor while Isabelle slept in her bed. During their freshmen year, they would go to the Lightwoods' penthouse almost everyday after school and Isabelle would sleep, resting from whatever debauchery she was in the night before with her school society friends. Clary and Simon would usually serenade Isabelle to sleep, and they would continue to learn new songs and sing along to them until the sun would set. They didn't continue the tradition because of the drama that followed with Dylan and Derek and Camille, but the memory of freshman year was so familiar that Clary never thought she would look back on it and long for another moment like it.

_240 thousand miles from the Moon, we've come a long way to belong here,_

_To share this view of the night, a glorious night, over the horizon is another bright sky_

_Oh, my my how beautiful, oh my irrefutable father,_

_He told me, "Son sometimes it may seem dark, but the absence of the light is a necessary part._

_Just know, you're never alone, you can always come back home"_

Memories flashed in her mind of just laughing on Isabelle's bed with her, talking or eating snacks while they would watch TV shows. Memories of her and Simon walking around aimlessly every day and spending hours in record stores or staring at the sky while sitting on a park bench. Clary could feel her eyebrows furrow as she thought of her room, and she grasped for the feeling of just being in bed, listening to her vinyl player and staring at the ceiling. She missed feeling content and settled. She missed feeling like she was in control of her emotions, of her own mind.

_Every road is a slippery slope_

_There is always a hand that you can hold on to._

_Looking deeper through the telescope_

_You can see that your home's inside of you._

But she knew wasn't just missing those moments because she wasn't at home. She was missing those moments because, for some reason, it felt like life would never be that simple again. Clary opened her eyes and blinked as she stared off in front of her while Simon finished the song.

"Do you have feelings for Jace?" Isabelle asked. She was whispering, and her voice sounded like she just pulled herself out of a daydream. She sounded far away.

Clary didn't look over or hesitate when she answered. "Yeah. I realized I do."

"How?" Isabelle asked.

"When I tried to ask him about the paparazzi pictures, he said that he was glad it showed how much we cared for each other," Clary said, then pursed her lips together. "And it hurt to hear him say it. I realized I must have been looking for an answer. I realized that, I myself, thought it meant something more, and then it came rushing to me that what we are isn't just a normal relationship."

"It's being in love," Isabelle said, simply.

"I haven't stamped the word love on it yet, Izzy," Clary said with a small smile. "But yeah." She looked at Isabelle. "It is."

"Then why are you doing this?" Isabelle asked, the two turned to each other now. Isabelle turned to her left, her right leg hanging off the couch while the other bent in front of her. Clary turned to her right and sat Indian style in front of Isabelle. The two were whispering. They didn't want anyone to hear—except maybe Simon, who they thought might have been singing on the other side of the wall just so he could tune out their conversation so no one else could hear it. "Are you sure you can do this? To act like you're in love with a guy that you're actually in love with even though you aren't sure he feels the same about you? This could get fucked up real fast, Clary. Are you going to be okay going through with that? You see how this could potentially hurt you, right?"

Clary looked down. "It's just so people think we are together."

"I don't care about other people," Isabelle said. "I care about you, Clary. And you two are going to publicly be seen together and put on dates just so people can notice you. You two may just be hanging out like yesterday, but can you really see pictures like the ones where you two are looking at each other and not feel frustrated with not knowing if this is real? How are you ever going to find out? I'm worried that you'll get it mixed up—what is real and what isn't. I know my feelings wouldn't be able to tell the difference. I don't want your feelings for Jace to get caught up in this game that you are starring in."

Clary didn't answer, but Isabelle could see that she was starting to fidget. She was picking at the bottom of her sweater sleeve.

"Clarissa, do you know what you're doing here? I mean, do you know what you're getting into?"

"Vaguely," Clary whispered.

Isabelle sighed, sadly. "I can see that you're trying to hide something. You're trying to hide how you really feel about this. You are _too_ up for it. I mean, your idea is great, but it's like you're masking something with every joke and smile, and I can see that."

"Well, he really did react the way I said he did," Clary said, making a small attempt to change the subject.

"Is this just to be stubborn? Because Jace doesn't want to do it and you're hurt he said no? Do you feel like it means he wouldn't be with you for real?"

Clary gulped as Isabelle's words took a stab at her. "That thought did occur to me," Clary said, glancing up at her. She shook her head. "But no, of course not. That's not why I'm doing this. I'm not a child, Isabelle."

Isabelle looked down. "I'm sorry. I'm just...worried and confused about all this. I know you can handle this, but I'm just scared of what it'll do to you. And Jace. To both of you. Just talk to me, Clary. Help me understand." Clary bit her bottom lip. "Are you okay?" Isabelle reached out to take Clary's hands in her own. "Because it's okay if you're not."

Clary looked up and gripped her hand back. "Look, Izzy. I am confused and lost and just way in over my head about this. About everything, actually. I have no control over anything, and I literally feel like I'm lost at sea getting pulled back and forth." Clary shook her head then looked down, her knuckles protruding from her hands as she was sure that she was holding onto Isabelle's hand too hard. "I'm trying to get a grip on reality and what is real and what is..." She trailed off. "I don't know. I just don't know what I'm even thinking about or where to start to what to let go of first or what to try. It's a mess, Izzy. I'm a mess. I don't even know _how_ to be a mess."

"I have a ton of experience being a mess. I'll help you through it," Isabelle said, leaning down so Clary would make eye contact with her. "And I've learned from you how to fix messes, so I'll be here, okay? The whole way." Clary gave a laugh and Isabelle smiled. "Okay, usually, the way you start this—as I've noticed—is to try and answer some questions honestly." Isabelle let go of her hand and the two sat straight up. "Are you still grieving over Dylan?"

Clary flinched.

"Honestly, Clarissa."

"No. He knows he was making the best decision for the both of us. He knew I loved Jace, and I wouldn't have been able to see it without him."

Isabelle gave a nod. "So you're in love with Jace?" She grinned.

"_Isabelle._"

"Okay, that's a yes. We already established that." Isabelle gave a shrug. "Would you ever just tell him?"

Clary stared at her. "Considering he said our pictures were just a testament to how much we care for each other and that he made it absolutely clear that fake dating me would be the last thing on his list to do in his life ever, I'm gonna say no."

"Yeah, even I wouldn't take that chance at this point," Isabelle said with a sigh. "Although," Isabelle put her index finger in the air, "I still believe he's_ in_ love with you."

"That's a nice thought, Isabelle. Can you turn that belief into an actual confession?"

"No."

"Then no."

Isabelle shrugged again. "Well, things are always changing around here. We'll put this topic under the 'to be continued' category."

Clary shifted in her seats. "Speaking of changes, Izzy, are you okay? Earlier on the stage when you... is everything okay?"

Her best friend froze for a moment and began fidgeting. Clary smiled at the fact that they had the same tells.

"You know, when this tour became a real idea, a real thing, we never had the time to even realize what we were leaving behind," Isabelle said, and Clary nodded. "I'm starting to miss things I didn't realize I was leaving behind."

"I understand," Clary whispered.

"This life," Isabelle said with outstretched arms, "is amazing. Don't get me wrong. But it would be wrong of me to say that the life we had before all this wasn't just as great, because it was. We made mundane life really fucking awesome."

"You're a socialite living in the Upper East Side. That's not too mundane," Clary said, a little sheepish.

"Compared to this, I meant." Isabelle rolled her eyes. "No need for another lecture about how hashtag blessed I am. I just mean...this, is great, but home was great too."

Clary nodded.

"But I know I can't think too long about that. There's nothing we can do, and this will make our little band family bigger," Isabelle said, then sat up straight. The two looked at the wall when they heard Magnus and Jace talking loudly as they left the room. "Come on, our moment of solitude has ended." The two stood up. "Clary." Isabelle turned to her. "I know how it feels to be lost, but I know you'll figure it out. Everything that's stable about me, Simon, Jon and Alec is all because you were the one who knew what they were doing when we all didn't. We're all who we are because you helped us. Whatever it takes for you to grow in this situation, we're there. Remember that, and remember it's okay to not be okay. Find one of us when you aren't."

* * *

><p>"Okay, spill," Magnus said, swiveling Jace's chair to vanity mirror. "I know you don't need to cut a few inches off your hair. Last time I tried, you slapped the scissors out of my hand. Which is highly dangerous, by the way. I will slap you the next time you do that to me."<p>

"Right," Jace said, sitting there. He looked at Magnus's reflection in the mirror. "I wanted to talk about Clary."

"Oh, about how you've embarrassed her by being so adamant about not fake dating her? There's no need to talk about that with me. She's already busting your balls about it enough." Magnus snickered and was met by silence.

"Are you done?"

"Yeah," Magnus said, clearing his throat.

"Okay so, I was watching Clary play piano—"

"While she asked to be left alone?"

Jace pursed his lips. "Yes."

"That's very rude of you."

"Look, I can find Jordan or Maia or—"

"Okay, fine! Go on."

Jace cleared his throat. "So, she was singing this song. We know it. 'Gravity' by Sara Bareilles, and she was_ so_ into the song. It was as if she was using the song to release emotions that she's holding on. It was beautiful," Jace said, and Magnus grinned back at him through the mirror. "And then she said, 'Damnit, Jace.'"

Magnus's smile fell. "Maybe she knew you were watching."

"She didn't."

Magnus looked around, thinking. "To 'Gravity'?" Jace nodded. "And you don't get it? Why she sang that then said 'Damnit, Jace'?"

"Why is she damning me?" Jace asked with wide eyes.

Magnus shook his head. "You're an idiot. You are beyond help."

Jace sat forward. "This is true, but why this time?"

"Jace, I can't help you with this. You need to realize why she did on your own. So figure it out and—or let it go—because you were never supposed to watch her do that in the first place." Magnus threw him a disgusted glance. "Stalker." He sighed. "Remember when you figured out that you were still in love with her? You need to figure out the other part of the equation."

"Equation? Magnus! Just help me. Tell me the answer!"

"This is just like when you were a teen. I will _not_ help you cheat on tests anymore."

Jace stood up and looked enraged. "You are NO help. I should have just confided in Raphael."

"Raphael? He hasn't gotten a woman in years," Magnus said, insulted.

"Neither have you," Jace said, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes but women try constantly to get _me_."

Jace groaned in annoyance.

"Jace. You are a wonderful grown up man. You are smart, caring, responsible and, although you don't seem it sometimes, you are very kind."

Jace turned around and stared at Magnus.

"Those were all good things! Anyway, you are my favorite. Really, you are. But when it comes to Clary, you two are both your wonderful selves, even more so together—except you two can't tell jack shit about how the other is thinking. You two need to clear your minds. Simplify your friendship. There is something obvious there—to everyone and the both of you." Magnus put his hands on Jace's cheeks and squished them together. "Have I made myself clear?"

Jace stared at him, unmoving underneath Magnus's hands. "You have told me _nothing_."

Magnus sighed and took Jace by his shoulders, sitting him down. "Fine, ask Raphael about something he knows nothing about. Don't come crying back to me if you get nothing from him either. Only come to me when you realize what I just said. Now. Sit still. I really am going to cut your hair."

"Magnus!"

"No," Magnus said, snipping his scissors. "I will not let your hair take away from your pretty face. Sit still."

Jace crossed his arms and watched his hair get snipped. He watched what Magnus cut off fall onto his lap. "So you like the PR idea?" he asked, trying to ease the ridiculous air between him and Magnus.

"I do," Magnus said, simply. "I think it'll be good for both of you, and not only for PR."

"But how?" Jace asked, resisting the urge to turn around. Instead, he looked to Magnus through the mirror, and Magnus glanced back at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Tell me first, why do you think it's such a bad idea? Why are you pushing 'no' for this?"

Jace sighed. "I don't want a relationship with Clary to be _fake_. She's the one real thing I'm sure of in my life, and I don't want that to melt into everything else."

Magnus looked at the boy in the seat and could still picture the 16-year-old boy he knew before. "Jace. I know you love Clary, and I know you know everyone else thinks she loves you back—"

"What?" Jace asked.

"Again with the dense mind. You know this," Magnus said, ignoring him. "But nobody is actually really sure that she does. I understand why you're not blurting out your feelings for her, especially since you are just getting to know her again. I understand what she means to you and what your friendship means to you. I don't know if you'd ever lose that in the PR part of it. Clary's plan if pretty fool proof, but, if things did become a PR circus, I think you two will come out unscathed." He stopped cutting Jace's hair for a moment. "And if this is your only chance to act like a couple with her, do you really want to pass it up? Even if it is for the press."

Jace didn't answer for a minute, and then said, quietly, "I see where you're coming from." Magnus nodded. "Although I really didn't know that you guys thought that Clary loved me back."

"Well, we do. We feel something between you two."

"Do you know if she does actually? You know, if she is in love with me?" Jace asked, hesitantly.

Magnus didn't make eye contact with him. "No, I'm sorry. It's just speculation and observation, Goldie."

Jace looked down a little. "Right."

"Jace," Magnus started, slowly. "You know that we all love you as you are, right? Not because you're just the kid we've been taking care of. We love you like family. We are each other's family."

Jace stared at Magnus through the mirror. They had only told them this very few times in the years that he's known them, and he had almost forgotten.

"I know," Jace said, and Magnus gave a nod.

The two sat in silence after Magnus let Jace play music from the iPod dock. He sat back, humming along while Magnus did his magic.

"I asked Alexander to hang out, but he hasn't answered me," Magnus said randomly and met Jace's gaze in the mirror.

Jace raised an eyebrow. "Alexander? Who is Ale—" Jace's eyes got wide. "Nooo."

Magnus flashed him a grin.

"Magnus!" Jace started but was interrupted when _The Elite Four_ came walking in.

"Woww," Clary said as she and Isabelle looked amused at Jace. "Someone finally caved in for the haircut?"

"Someone finally caved in for the haircut," Jace mocked, unattractively.

The two girls looked at him funny, and then walked away.

"Real cute," Magnus said, laughing as everyone found a seat.

"We're not finished with this conversation," Jace mumbled, and Magnus scrunched his nose.

* * *

><p>The group went about the rest of the day as they always did. They huddled together before getting on stage. Clary was the one to hand them their instruments or sticks, of course. Jace and Clary watched from the side of the stage, him giving her a hand squeeze before she went onto the stage.<p>

He could see the crowd knowing their songs more with every performance he watched. He could see how they started to find their own big stage presences. The thing that didn't change was how shocked they looked when staring out into the crowds. Jace smiled. He didn't think that would ever change for them, and he hoped it never did.

She would walk back to him as usual and they would hug, then watch together, singing every lyric, air drumming and air guitar playing as they always did. She joined the group as they made their way to the crowd and watched Jace from the third row in the middle section of the arena as he worked the crowd. She listened to the songs he played—tonight, it was one particular song that caught her attention. She knew that her favorite performance would be changing every show.

_Girl, we're nothing more,_

_Than life's waves cast upon life's shores,_

_Girl, we're just like seeds,_

_Tossed in the wind to nourish our needs,_

_These feelings are strong,_

_Like the wind whistling its song,_

_It's extraordinary,_

_But tell me what's normal that's still captivating?_

She watched as he played the majority of the song with closed eyes. She felt when Isabelle slipped her arm through hers and she smiled when Isabelle leaned down to put her head on her shoulder. Clary smiled, appreciating Isabelle's support. She was going to need it. Clary looked up at Jace as he played, singing.

_So let the wind guide you like the tides of the Atlantic,_

_'Cause in the end, life don't go just like we planned it,_

_I know it seems like we'll come up empty-handed,_

_But look at this harvest we've already planted,_

_Girl, I know it's strange how life's wind still blows in this rain,_

_But girl, I know it's true that life's wind has casted me to you._

She sighed. She was definitely a mess.

* * *

><p>After the show, everybody—including Clary, to her own surprise—greeted fans and took some pictures. They all huddled together after Jordan called and made their way towards the buses. Jace looked back at Clary, who got called over to one more person and couldn't help but say hello to them and take a picture. He smiled to himself when he saw her tiptoe over the gate to get into the girl's picture with her friends. She climbed down then waved goodbye, walking towards Jace.<p>

"Someone's famous out here," Jace said as she approached him.

"I think that's still you," she told him. He instinctively reached out his hand and, without question or hesitation, she took it as he led the way towards the bus. They ran up the steps, and the bus immediately began to move.

"You guys are good at this," Jordan said, looking at his phone.

"At what?" they asked in unison.

"At that," Jordan said, looking at their hands. They broke apart as if electricity shocked them. "I'm glad to see you two embracing it now. I'm on board, officially." Jordan grinned at them, then walked towards the back, leaving Jace and Clary standing there, looking at each other.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** I was not expecting those two conversations to take up a whole chapter but my writing took me there so I hope you liked it! Don't have much to say but I really had a great time writing these pairs talking, especially Jace and Magnus. **Let me know what you guys thought of the chapter **— the friendships, Clary freely saying she loved Jace, Magnus being Magnus, if you got any feels at the end, any of it. I'd love to hear your thoughts** :) Please continue to be amazing and leave some reviews & feedback, please!**

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you thank you thank you to anyone who reviewed, favorited or alerted this story! And those who favoritedalerted me as an author :) I appreciate it all, sincerely. Thank you so very much.**

Shout out to** Emily1515, Guest, Arcoirizada, Riley207, cfire27, rippingbutterflywings, brightdarknessx, Arelia Miles, CMLangdon, kay xxxx, belgian girl x, LOVERGIRL, xxo, phantomgal01, reemarie36, ScorpioGirl20, polarizedlife, Luckybrat452-494, thatordinarypotato, firequeen8569, Guest, ShadowAngel100, ****rosaskypeople **and** DeathCabForMari**!

**Thank you guys for the review love.** I sincerely am grateful (hashtag blessed as Isabelle would say) for the reviews you guys leave & reading what you guys think about the story. Love love love it. Thank you.

**Guest:** Thank you for your review! I'm glad you loved the chapter. They haven't yet, but they're definitely heading in that direction :)

**belgian girl x:** Thank you for your review! I was jumping along right with you :) I feel like they both made progress in that direction in this chapter so I hope you liked it!

**LOVERGIRL:** Thank you so much for your review! I hope you liked this.

**xxo:** Thank you for your review! I really try to keep a couple steps ahead and I'm so glad to read that you like the plots that have been coming up in the story :)

**Guest:** I'm so happy you're loving the story so far, thank you for your review! I believe these two are definitely on their way to understand each other soon or at least be on the same page :)

**thatordinarypotato:** I hope you see this in time! I was replying to reviews but was unable to reply to yours so I hope you see this here. Thank you for your the review, it made me laugh and I'm glad you got into the chapter enough. I do apologize that it was a cliffhanger but I do hope you liked where it picked up in this chapter :)


	20. Clean

**A/N:** Okay, this is SUCH an important (massive) chapter so I don't want to make this beginning AN too long but I have to put this out there.

Shout out to **rippingbutterflywings** for beta'ing this chapter and just encouraging me through the nervousness I had for it. Shout out to **MLC** for that last line though. Shout out to **Islandgirl4evR** for being THEE kindest person and truly giving me some Christmas spirit a couple days ago. Shout out to **DeathCabForMari** for always being there for support when I have questions/concerns about this story. I've got so much love for you guys.

And, **SHOUT OUT TO ALL OF YOU**. Sorry about the caps. I need you guys to feel my excitement! This time, last year, I was writing a story that was in a hidden folder, that no one could ever find because I was not confident at all in my writing enough to let _anyone_ read it. Now, I'm here with a story that is being read by all of you and it's truly made my year a wonderful one. Really. When I came back to this site, to write _As Lovers Go_, I wasn't even sure what I was doing. But you guys have changed that so much and just have given me so much support & encouragement. **I can't say enough thank you's that you read, review, favorite and alert this.** This had made a huge, positive impact on my year because of all the good it has brought, and you guys are a part of that. THAANK YOU.

Sorry about this long AN, it's not even the end of the year yet (a week away) but I felt like I needed to add this in on Christmas Day. **MERRY CHRISTMAS, everybody!** I hope you had a lovely day filled with family, friends & wonderful memories.

The songs used in this chapter are:

**Clean by Taylor Swift**

**Wonderland by Taylor Swift**

They are a really important part of the chapter (towards the end) so if you can, please listen along while you read it :)

* * *

><p>Jace sat across Clary in the back of the bus. She had her full attention directed at her planner for the whole hour after dinner. Everyone else had gone into their bunks to relax, but he stayed out there with her, just because it felt like they had created a routine. He looked through apps on his phone while she was busy planning for the band, and music played in the background, softly, so it wouldn't be too loud in case anyone was heading to sleep early.<p>

Jace glanced at Clary while she tapped the top of her pen against her nose as she thought. He resisted to smile, just like he always did when he caught her being cute. He stared at her while she was in her own world. Jace could feel the urge to walk over to her and just hold her—it happened every time he saw her. It felt like it physically hurt him to not reach over and hold her whenever she was beside him. He wished he could do it. He wished he could act as impulsively with her as he did with everyone else. He could feel the pang in his heart knowing that he couldn't do that. He wouldn't let himself; he would never risk it. Surprisingly, he realized, it wasn't just to be stubborn or to avoid hurting his pride. It was because he didn't want to lose her. He _just_ got her back. Why would he risk anything with her if he wasn't sure that it would ruin everything? Even if it hurt him forever, if he wasn't at least a little sure, he would never risk it.

Whatever she wanted, he would do. Wherever she went, he would go too. It didn't matter what he wanted anymore. At least, it felt that way. All that mattered was that she was there. Clary looked up and directly at him, which caused him to cast his eyes downward immediately.

"What?" Clary asked. She had caught him off guard, and Jace didn't want to make eye contact.

"Nothing," Jace mumbled. "I was wondering if you wanted to talk about past stuff tonight." It was a lie, but he figured this would be as good a time as any.

"Really?" Clary closed her planner. "Emotional turmoil already?"

"Yeah," Jace said with a shrug. "I mean, it's late at night, and mellow music is playing. Why not? It's the best environment for it."

He smiled at her, and she shifted in her seat. "Okay," she said, with a smaller voice. "I'm down."

"Wait," Jace said, and stood up, leaving her in the back of the bus, alone for the moment, as he disappeared behind the door. He came back, and she was peeking from where she sat to see what he got. He held up a 6 pack of beer and hard cider. She clapped. "I think this will be needed."

"Yes, definitely needed," Clary said, walking over to him to grab a cider. She went back to her seat, and Jace pushed away the disappointment at the fact that she didn't sit beside him.

"Okay," Jace started. "What did you dream about the other night? In your bunk."

"Wow, straight to it," Clary mumbled, twisting the cap off. "The dream started with us," she said, and Jace sat up a little, intrigued. "We were playing hide and seek."

"Which time was this?" Jace asked seriously.

"When you scared me from my right side," she said, putting a hand up. "When you were literally right here."

Jace laughed. "You sucked so hard at hide and seek."

"I did not suck! Just because you're like a ninja doesn't mean that a normal hide and seeker, like me, sucks."

Jace took a swig of his beer, his eyes amused. "You sucked."

Clary rolled her eyes. "I wasn't the worst. Well, whatever, moving on. So we were playing and you were being so obnoxious that day." She stopped and looked away from him. "So that's that," she said, abruptly.

"Nothing else happened?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. He knew for sure he kissed her that day.

"Nope," she said, with a pop. "Well," she continued. "You led me into this door and then disappeared once I got inside. I couldn't see because of this white smoke—"

"The marijuana smoke?"

She nodded. "And I passed this black table with white sprinkled all over it." Jace looked down. He didn't need to interrupt her to ask what that was. "I saw Luke and my mom talking and they looked... happy. I don't know. It was nice. Then I looked to my left and my father was in the room, but this blonde woman was straddling him. And then a door slammed in my face."

Jace looked up at her slowly. "You dreamt that?" She gave a curt nod. He could remember that night. Clary banged on the door until her skin was raw and she got dragged away by Luke, who put her in Jace's bed and told him to help her get to sleep. That was their nightly routine back then—only it could have been easily been Jonathan or Jace rather than Clary that needed to be calmed down. "God, Clary. What other memories have you been dreaming about?"

She shrunk in her seat. "Everything," she whispered.

"Everything," he whispered back. He shivered at the thought of it. He didn't know how Clary was sitting in front of him, no trace of pain on her face, if she was dreaming about what they saw. They saw what no child, teen, or adult should be seeing from people they loved. But, then again, Clary always was the one who was strong enough to continue on with no trace of what the night would bring them.

The daylight was always okay enough, but once the night settled in and the sun left the sky, it seemed like so did their _parents_. It bothered him that she was dreaming of those memories every night. He was about to ask about it more, but she interrupted him.

"Jace," she started. "Can you tell me what happened with your parents?"

"Well." Jace settled into his seat. "You know my mom was never good at being in a monogamous relationship."

Clary looked away uncomfortably. "Yeah. I remember."

"She found another man to fool into thinking that she was," Jace said, simply. "She was kind of gone already before she completely left us."

Clary nodded, understanding.

He knew Clary wanted to know more. He cleared his throat. "I woke up after they had been fighting all night and my father was in the kitchen and he looked like he hadn't slept—well, I knew he hadn't. Then he told me she was gone." Clary was quiet, but listening, as she stared at the floor. "At least the press wasn't too involved," Jace continued. He remembered the first time he saw Clary and Jonathan's face on a tabloid magazine during their parents' divorce.

"Do you speak to her often?" Clary asked.

Jace looked around him. "On her birthday and Christmas. No other days, really." Clary nodded. "Do you talk to your father?"

"No, not at all," she replied. Jace stared at his hands to avoid eye contact. He wasn't surprised. Everything that was painful about Clary's past with The Uprising and her parents' divorce was because Valentine _made _it painful. "Were you and your dad okay during it?"

"Some days. No more so than yes." Jace shook his head. "I was an angsty teen who didn't understand."

"Well, you've always been angsty."

"Rude."

"Jace, you've still got angst in you. Your mouth is literally in a pout every second of the day. You came out of the womb like that."

Jace stared blankly. "Still rude, but whatever." She smirked, looking down at her knees, her chin resting on them after she pulled her legs up.

"Jace, I'm—"

"It's okay."

She didn't reply. She knew he was saying that it was okay that she wasn't there for it.

"I don't feel like it is," she answered. "I should have been there."

"It was the circumstances I put us in, Clary."

She looked up at him and leaned back into the couch. "I still should have tried." He avoided her gaze. "Was it as bad as—"

"Not as bad," he said, knowing that she was thinking about when he supported her through her parents' divorce. "But I didn't enjoy knowing how you felt."

"Did they involve you in fights?" Clary asked.

"No," Jace shook his head. "It really wasn't bad, Clary." Jace thought back on Valentine and Jocelyn's divorce. It was like Jonathan and Clary were pulled between their parents as if they were getting divorced themselves. He was glad that his own father decided to keep him out of experiencing that.

Clary looked down, whispering, "I should have been there."

* * *

><p>After Clary replied, the two sat in silence, finding a little peace in each other's company—or, in Jace's case, thinking about the different nightmares Clary could be having at night. He looked up when she asked if he wanted to watch a movie. Jace nodded and then made his way across the bus to sit beside Clary's spot while she popped in the disc. She sat beside him and grabbed the blanket at the end of the couch. She threw it over the two of them, and Jace smiled slightly to himself as she turned to her left to watch, bringing her legs up and hugging them.<p>

Jace and Clary did that every night for almost a week—whether it was on the bus after a show, on the road to a new city, or in Clary's hotel room. They only talked about one topic nightly, and none of them ended up being too serious because they were never in the right mood to talk about deeper subjects. Things felt light between them, and neither one of them wanted to break that.

They talked about the day Isabelle realized she loved Simon and that Simon had always loved her. Clary told Jace that Isabelle screamed at her for thirty minutes asking why Clary didn't spell it out for her, why she made Isabelle figure it out on her own, and that she felt like she was going to explode because she realized she loved him so much. Clary laughed the whole time, telling Isabelle that she couldn't make her see something and that she was just waiting for Isabelle to put it together on her own. Afterwards, Clary took the train with Isabelle to Simon's house, where Isabelle threw pebbles at his window and told him, "Come down here, you idiot! I have something to tell you."

Jace told Clary about his first PR date in London. He was eighteen and they went out to eat dinner. He said that, since he was new to the whole thing, they got their drinks and he simply walked away after five minutes—basically after he finished his beer, because he couldn't handle being around his date. He got scolded and his date spread a rumor that he was bad in bed.

Since Clary was so entertained by the story the night before, Jace told her about the time when he got Raphael really drunk just so he could escape him. Stephen had put Jace on a strict bodyguard watch because, the week before, he was caught making out with two different women, punched a high society man in the face, and then stripped off all his clothes on his way home. It was all caught by the press. Stephen was livid, to say the least. So, while Raphael and Jace were sitting his Jace's hotel room watching TV, Jace asked if he wanted to play a drinking game. Raphael was new to his job, so he agreed. The rest was history after Jace brought Raphael out to drink more. Jace said that Raphael fell into a bush on the way home, and he saw that Jordan walking towards the hotel, so he ran back up to his room, leaving Raphael out in the cold—shirtless, because Raphael said he felt "too hot'" to have it on. Clary fell off the bed laughing, and then punched Jace in the arm when she got back up. She told Jace he deserved it because he was so mean and rude to mess with Raphael.

The next night, Clary told Jace about Alec's ex that they all hated. The ex used and manipulated Alec only so he could be more important to _Page Six_. They conjured up a plan to embarrass him at the upcoming society Winter Ball. They all sat in Isabelle's room and planned the night before. When they got there, everyone had a part in Isabelle's diabolical plan—but Alec's ex had figured it out immediately, because he was as ruthless as Isabelle. It annoyed Clary when Alec's ex laughed at their attempts, so she simply walked up beside him as he was trying to woo a high society parent at the top of the steps. She waited until he took a step forward and he tripped him, hiding her smile as he rolled down two flights of golden steps.

"There were so many steps," Clary giggled.

Jace laughed but said, quietly, "Clary, he could've gotten _seriously_ injured."

Her laughter abruptly stopped. "There were heavily carpeted steps, Jace. I'm not a monster."

Jace was amused. "Right."

"He was never invited to the society events again." She grinned.

By the weekend, their nightly routine was interrupted because they went to the bars in the Gaslight District of San Diego both Friday and Saturday night. They all slept in during the day on Sunday because of exhaustion from playing shows, partying all night, and even checking out the city when they arrived on Friday.

And, because Magnus told everybody that the new Taylor Swift CD would be coming out at midnight, even though they would be on the road, they needed to be at a Walmart.

* * *

><p>Simon jumped from the last step to the ground and raised his arms in the air. "Freedom!" He screamed like he was in <em>Braveheart<em>. Isabelle rolled her eyes at him and pushed past him, towards the group that was making its way inside.

"Children. We have children that range from 22 to 25. And then there's Magnus, our eternal teenager," Jordan said as he and Maia followed them from the back.

Maia giggled. "Hey, they're adults in the ways that matter. We never have to worry about them doing their jobs onstage, making it to appointments and meetings on time, and Clary still has a hold on The Elite Four management. Let them be children. They are _responsible_ children."

"But they're just so ridiculous sometimes."

"But funny."

Jordan shrugged. "Yeah, I guess that makes it alright." The two watched as Simon roared, running towards the automatic opened doors. "What if that didn't open?"

"Magnus would be royally pissed because we would need to rush Simon to the hospital for a possible concussion."

Jordan sighed again.

* * *

><p>"Hmm." Jace looked around as he walked down the food aisles with Isabelle, Clary, and Simon. Alec and Jon went with Magnus to buy <em>1989<em>, and Maia and Jordan said they would wait at checkout for them. Maia informed them they only had 15 minutes before they all dispersed. The four turned into an aisle when they saw chips. "Candy!" Jace said, continuing to walk.

"Yesss, candy," Clary said, following him to the other end of the aisle.

"Where do you think Clary's mind is right now?" Simon asked in a hushed voice as Isabelle began grabbing bags of chips.

Isabelle glanced at Clary and Jace at the end of the aisle. She shook her head once she saw that they found Slim Jim's and began to sword fight each other.

"I'm still worried about her. Look at that," Isabelle said, and Simon turned around.

He watched as Clary whacked Jace in the face, hitting his eye. He dropped his Slim Jim and covered his left eye with two hands as Clary gasped and then jumped at him, trying to see if he was hurt. Simon gave a laugh, then looked at Isabelle.

"I thought you wanted this?" he asked.

"I do," Isabelle said, peaking at the two again. "But not like this."

"Izzy, you know Clary. She can handle this. She'll pick herself up and figure it all out. She's our Clary."

"Yeah, but pick herself up from this? This whole 'PR, what is real, what is fake' thing? She has enough feelings to worry about, and she doesn't have experience in this. None of us do. She's dealing with a past _real _love that she thought she was over," Isabelle said, handing him two bags of chips to hold. "She's really falling for him, Simon, and it's hurting her."

"But why?"

"Because she spent so much time trying to forget him. She spent so much time trying to be her own person without him."

Simon looked at Clary again. His eyebrows furrowed.

"Why can't she be her own person and still have him in her life?"

Isabelle glanced past Simon. "Clary thinks those are two different lives."

"But they aren't. She can have that both."

Isabelle sighed as she pulled his arm to leave the aisle. "I know. _She_ just doesn't know that yet. Two worlds are colliding for Clary. I don't blame her for not realizing that yet."

Simon bit his bottom lip in worry now. "Are you sure we aren't losing our Clary?"

Isabelle looked up at him and didn't answer for a moment as they made their way back to the front.

"No, Simon. She's just lost for the first time in her life. I think we should support her as she finds her way." Isabelle looked back to see if Clary and Jace were behind them. She turned forward when they weren't. "I feel like it'll be worth it."

* * *

><p>Clary looked at Jace. She had already chosen what candy she wanted and was waiting for him. He looked overwhelmed by the selection. There were only a few times that Clary realized Jace was in a country foreign to him, and this was one of them.<p>

"Do you ever get homesick?" she asked, turning to the right as she spoke to him.

"Not when you're around," he answered, with no hesitation.

He turned his head to the left to look at her. Her heartbeat quickened as they were in a locked stare, and then she saw his eyes flicker to past her head. She turned around to see three girls standing there. They were teenagers, looking at them with shocked expressions. They were all clutching the new Taylor Swift CD.

"Hi," one of them spoke. "Are you Jace Herondale and Clarissa Morgenstern?"

Jace smiled. "Yeah, that's us, alright."

One of the girls nudged the other and muttered, "I told you so."

"Is it okay if we take a picture?" the first girl asked.

"Of course," Jace said, and walked towards them. Clary watched as they fought the urge to scream.

She reached her hand out. "I can take the picture for you."

"No!" one girl said, and looked surprised at herself for saying it so forcefully. "We'd like you in the picture, if that's alright."

Jace grinned, and Clary's eyes got wide.

"Oh, okay," Clary said with a smile. She walked into the huddle.

"Alright, hand me the phones, I've got the longest arms here," Jace said, and the girls laughed, handing him one phone at a time.

After the pictures were taken, the two walked away from the three girls and towards the front.

"They were so nice," Clary said, still reeling from the experience.

"I got a picture too," Jace said, showing Clary.

She looked down at it. "Why?"

"I had to. It's our first couple picture with fans," Jace said, simply.

He looked down at her, and her smiled faded. She turned away, and Jace's eyebrows furrowed. Before he could ask her what was wrong, Magnus was screaming at them to hurry up because he needed his "Taylor Swift fix."

* * *

><p>They ran into the bus after making rounds in talking to the small group of fans they saw at Walmart and made their way straight to the back. They popped in the CD—the girls and Magnus had a mini dance party while the boys laughed and listened along with no shame. They all nodded their heads, appreciating Taylor's new pop sounds and usual amazing lyrics.<p>

After "Bad Blood" played, they all sat down and listened to the CD in silence, looking off in different directions, not needing to talk or dance anymore. They sat, enjoying the music completely, letting it fill the bus as the road passed beneath them. The window's blinds were open, but there was nothing to see but darkness and the stars up in the sky.

Clary sat forward after watching the stars for a couple songs. "I Know Places" was ending, and she found herself looking straight ahead at Jace, who stared at her. About a week ago, she would catch him staring and he would just look down, but he did it shamelessly now. He stared at her and she did the same, freely. They had some practice after going to get coffee every morning, training themselves to get past the awkwardness of making eye contact. Clary knew she had trouble making eye contact with him because of the knowledge of _how_ they looked at each other. She wasn't sure about his reasoning, but it didn't matter anymore when they were back to making eye contact all the time—staring, even.

Hand holding was another thing they did without awkwardness as well. They did their usual squeeze of the hands before she would go on the stage, but that felt normal. It was something that never faltered. But they had to get past the initial awkwardness that night after Jordan had pointed it out. They stared at each other immediately because they hadn't _noticed_ that they held hands in the first place. It felt like instinct to take his hand, and she knew that holding out his hand to lead her was what Jace was used to when it came to Clary. But, now he led her often, in and out of crowded places.

Needless to say, the Clave was happy. The fans wondered, but were surprisingly supportive. Well, for the most part. Nothing was official just yet. And Clary was more confused as ever. Isabelle was right when she told Clary that it would be easy to be confused with what was real or not with Jace. But about two days in and feeling like her head was going to explode, Clary decided that, if they could be seen, she would be weary to see it as something real. And, so far, the eye contact and hand holding was mostly done around people. Except the side of the stage. And except right now.

Realizing this, Clary shifted in her seat and looked away. In return, Jace did too, as if he were in a trance. She saw him furrow his eyebrows for a moment before they smoothed down.

Clary held onto her right ankle. As it was pulled up on the seat, soft beats began to play. She reached for the CD cover over Isabelle, on her right, and looked to track 13. _Clean_, she thought.

She closed her eyes and leaned her head back, enjoying the beginning already.

_The drought was the very worst_

_When the flowers that we'd grown together died of thirst_

_It was months, and months of back and forth_

_You're still all over me like a wine-stained dress I can't wear anymore_

Clary gulped. The lyrics were hurting the way that honest lyrics did—the way that Taylor's lyrics always did—but it was if the words were pouring salt on her wounds.

_Hung my head as I lost the war, and the sky turned black like a perfect storm_

Clary wanted to laugh at the sadistic side of fate. Just last night, Jace brought up the discussion of how she was feeling towards him after they stopped talking. She asked if that was what he really wanted to talk about because she wasn't feeling anything positive. He nodded, saying yes. He also asked that she didn't hold back. So Clary didn't. That night's conversation ended with heavy hearts, voice cracking from Clary as she fought back tears, and sadness painted on Jace's face.

_Rain came pouring down when I was drowning_

_That's when I could finally breathe_

_And by morning gone was any trace of you,_

_I think I am finally clean_

She told him of the nightly crying that went on for months. She told him that Isabelle joined her some nights because they'd formed a bond so strong that, from then on, if one was in pain, so was the other. She told him that, during the days, she pretended she was fine—something Jace knew she was good at. Then, at night, she would talk with Isabelle and cry herself to sleep. The cycle seemed endless until, one morning, she woke up and the heaviness was less. The confusion was less, the blame was less, and the hate was less. They continued to lessen as the years went by, until Jace's presence disappeared because she didn't feel the loss of it anymore.

_There was nothing left to do_

_When the butterflies turned to dust that covered my whole room_

_So I punched a hole in the roof_

_Let the flood carry away all my pictures of you_

_The water filled my lungs, I screamed so loud but no one heard a thing_

She told him that it was necessary for it to happen because losing him taught her about herself. It taught her how to be herself, to rely on herself. And he taught her how to be alone without being lonely. When she was younger, all she had was Jace. Her world revolved around him, and his did too, but she told him she was grateful to be able to know that she could survive. She needed it, she said to him. He merely smiled at her and she saw that, even though he was hurting, he was glad it helped her. She told him that they needed it, so that they could be better friends now. He nodded.

_Rain came pouring down when I was drowning_

_That's when I could finally breathe_

_And by morning, gone was any trace of you,_

_I think I am finally clean_

_I think I am finally clean_

_Said I think I am finally clean_

Clary wondered behind her closed eyes if he was hearing the song, if he knew that these words were the ones that she spoke of last night. But she knew that he had no clue that everything she spoke about—the way she didn't _need_ him—felt like it was crashing down more and more with every day of him in her life. She still felt like she knew herself—vaguely. Feeling in tune with herself was jumbled in the mess of her feelings for him. They were strong, and they were clouding her hard work she'd done to be able to live without him. Would this make her weak? Did this erase the years she spent trying to forget him? Did this erase the nights she writhed in physical pain from how much his absence hurt?

_10 months sober, I must admit_

_Just because you're clean don't mean you don't miss it_

_10 months older, I won't give in_

_Now that I'm clean I'm never gonna risk it_

Clary wanted to cry. She was willing herself not to, but she could feel the frustration flowing through her veins. She found what this song was about—that strength. She found it. And it was like it was being reversed so easily. Years of hard work felt like they were going to waste because Jace was back in her life—but, this time, it hurt more because she knew she was in love with him. She knew now that he could ruin her again with the lack of his presence if he ever decided to cut ties again. She knew it would feel like her world would implode yet again. All because of him.

_The drought was the very worst_

_When the flowers that we'd grown together died of thirst_

But she couldn't. She couldn't let him take away all her hard work. But she couldn't push him away, either. Clary took a deep breath and opened her eyes, avoiding eye contact with anyone as the chorus started again and she made her way to her bunk, leaving abruptly. The door closed behind her, and she couldn't hear anyone asking her if anything was wrong as she climbed up into her bunk. She took it as a sign that she was alone and let herself take a shaky breath.

She could hear the last chorus as she put a hand over her face. She had never felt so confused, so lost, and the build up of that was getting to her. The muffled music was clear for a moment, and Clary knew someone had come into the bunk area. She took a moment to calm herself, and then pulled her hands down her face. She looked over and found him standing outside her bunk. She knew it was him, but, for a moment, she wished it was Isabelle so he wouldn't see her like this. She could see him looking down from the slit that wasn't covered. She opened the curtain, and he glanced at her.

"I'm sorry," Jace whispered.

_Rain came pouring down when I was drowning_

_That's when I could finally breathe_

_And by morning gone was any trace of you_

_I think I am finally clean_

_Finally clean_

_Think I'm finally clean_

_Think I'm finally clean_

Clary didn't answer until the next song played.

"Please don't be sorry," she replied. "This isn't your fault anymore."

He didn't respond.

"I'm not upset at you. This—that song—was just how it felt, is all."

Nothing. Clary tried to focus on the song rather than the silence that was weighing down on them.

_Flashing lights and we_

_Took a wrong turn and we_

_Fell down a rabbit hole._

_You held on tight to me_

_'Cause nothing's as it seems_

_I'm spinning out of control._

"Clary, I may not have done it on purpose, but it still hurts me that I made you feel that"—Jace paused to find the word—"devastated."

"You were too," Clary pointed out for him. "I know you suffered right along with me. We were both devastated."

_Didn't they tell us don't rush into things?_

_Didn't you flash your green eyes at me?_

_Haven't you heard what becomes of curious minds?_

He glanced at her. She could feel her heart beating as his eyes met hers. And she knew that, no matter how confused she felt, she loved him. And it hurt. It hurt to love him.

_Didn't it all seem new and exciting?_

_I felt your arms twisting 'round me_

_I should have slept with one eye open at night._

She turned over to lay on her back as she took a deep breath, appreciating the ceiling above her rather than his face.

_We found wonderland_

_You and I got lost in it_

_And we pretended it could last forever_

_aye_

_We found wonderland_

_You and I got lost in it_

_And life was never worse but never better_

_aye aye_

"Are we okay?" he asked. She noticed it was their thing. To ask if they were okay.

"We're okay," she told him.

_So we went on our way_

_Too in love to think straight_

_All alone or so it seemed._

_But there were strangers watching_

_And whispers turned to talking_

_And talking turned to screams._

She turned, ready to look at him again. "Why did you ask about that last night? Why did you need to know? To torment yourself?"

He shrugged. "I wouldn't have done it if I knew it would have tortured you too." His face went back to pained. "Clary, I hope you know that it'll never happen again."

"Don't," Clary said, shaking her head. "We can promise that we will always try, but we can't promise each other that it'll never happen again."

"Why not? I don't see a future without you," Jace said, looking as if he didn't understand.

_Didn't it all seem new and exciting?_

_I felt your arms twisting 'round me_

_It's all fun and games 'til somebody loses their mind._

Clary closed her eyes. She could feel the tears threatening again to spill and she willed them not to fall. She didn't care if he was watching her do this. She needed him not to see her cry over this—over him. If there was one promise she could keep to the girl who spent years to forget him, this was the one she would keep. She may have let him back into her life, but she would never allow him to make herself forget that she was a complete person without him. She wouldn't.

Clary winced as she could feel her heart hurting. She was struggling and grasping for her mind to control itself. She was reaching to steady herself.

_I reached for you but you were gone_

_I knew I had to go back home_

_You search the world for something else to make you feel like what we had_

_And in the end in wonderland we both went mad._

She felt his lips softly press against hers.

And everything she was trying to hold on to fell away from her.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** MERRY CHRISTMAS, AGAIN. Please don't be mad at me about that cliffhanger. Let's all just be chanting "Clace, Clace, Clace!" together and be happy that they finally kissed & there's no going back from here.

Since there was so much built up for this moment, **please please please leave me some reviews and feedback :)** I really hope you guys loved and felt along with me in this chapter. I love all these characters very much so far so I hope you do too. But yes, let me know what you think!

* * *

><p>I said this already, in my little heart on my sleeve moment up there, but <strong>thank you so much to everyone who reads this story!<strong> And **special thank you's to everyone who reviews, favorites & alerts!**

Shout out to **phantomgal01, lindsayhonaker, ScorpioGirl20, shannie83, Riley207, Guest, firequeen8569, rippingbutterflywings, brightdarknessx, rosaskypeople, kay xxxx, cfire27, Guest, Luckybrat452-494, Arelia Miles, belgian girl x, Emily1515, Mollytamale, obliterating the oblivion, Guest, Islandgirl4evR, reemarie36, LOVERGIRL, ShadowAngel100, Ydissbooksogood, ****TheSSClace and DeathCabForMari**! I hope you all had an amazing day. Virtual hugs for everyone. Reviews replies will be coming in tonight or tomorrow. **Thaank you for the review love, support & kind words, my dears.**

**Guest: **She did! It really is instinct with them. I love writing them so I'm glad you like it. :( Jon wasn't mentioned in this chapter and what's going on with him but he will be in the next chapter, that's for sure. Thank you for your review!

**Guest:** Thank you for your review! And yess, finally. They're definitely getting there soon after this chapter :) I hope you liked it!

**belgian girl x:** I'm so glad you loved the chapter and I hope you loved this one just as much! Thank you for the review :)

**Guest:** Thank you for your review :) I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far and I hope you liked the rest of it!

**LOVERGIRL: **Thank you for your review, dear! And of course, about the shout out, thank you the support!


End file.
